


The Sun Summoner

by AllessaRen2198



Series: Shameless Self-Inserts [2]
Category: The Grisha Trilogy - Leigh Bardugo
Genre: Alina sucks but Allessa doesn't, Darkling has a thing for Allessa, Don't Judge Me, F/M, Friendship, Minor Character Death, Not Really Character Death, Ownership, So....., Unrequited Hate, Unrequited Love, Yes I self inserted, forgive me....NOT, this happened
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-03-24
Updated: 2016-08-05
Packaged: 2018-05-28 17:08:11
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 22
Words: 62,260
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6337765
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/AllessaRen2198/pseuds/AllessaRen2198
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Basically it is the same as Shadow and Bone but I add myself in...because I was baf. Anyways......................</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Before

**Author's Note:**

> So, Alina will be mentioned here and there but the main focus is Allessa as she replaces her as Sun Summoner. So yeah there you go.

Before

 

The servants called them malenchki, little ghosts, because they were the smallest and the youngest, and because they haunted the Duke’s house like giggling phantoms, darting in and out of rooms, hiding in cupboards to eavesdrop, sneaking into the kitchen to steal the last of the summer peaches. The boy and two girls had arrived within three weeks of each other. First the boy, then the blonde, then the brunette. Three more orphans of the border wars, dirty faced refugees plucked from the rubble of distant towns and brought to the Duke’s estate to learn to read and write, and to learn a trade. The boy was short and stocky, shy but always smiling. The blonde was skinny and frail. The brunette was small and lithe, like a dancer. The girls were different somehow, and they knew it. 

Huddled in the kitchen cupboard, listening to the grownups gossip, the girls heard the DUke’s housekeeper, Ana Kuya, say, “The blonde’s and ugly little thing. And the brunette's too thin. No child should look like that. Pale and sour, like a glass of milk that’s turned, and an overgrown beanstalk past it’s prime.” “And both so skinny!” The cook replied. “Never finishing their supper!” Crouched beside the girls the boy turned. “Why don’t you two eat?” “Because everything she cooks tastes like mud.” The blonde replied, the brunette, quieter than most just nodded in agreement, eyes twinkling. “Tastes fine to me.” “You’ll eat anything.” The brunette replied to the boy’s statement rolling her eyes. They bent their ears back to the crack in the cupboard doors. A moment later the boy whispered. “I don’t think either of you are ugly.” “Shh!’ The blonde girl hissed. But hidden deep in the shadows the blonde smiled while the brunette watched her with interest.

In the summer, they endured long hours of chores followed by even longer hours of lessons in stifling classrooms. When the heat was at its worst, they escaped into the woods to hunt for birds’ nests or swim in the muddy little creek, or they would lie for hours in their meadow, watching the sun pass slowly overhead, speculating on where they would build their dairy farm and whether they would have two white cows or three. In the winter, the Duke left for his city house in Os Alta, and as the days grew shorter and colder, the teachers grew lax in their duties, preferring to sit by the fire and play cards or drink kvas. Bored and trapped indoors, the older children doled out more frequent beatings. So the boy and the girls hid in the disused rooms of the estate, putting on plays for the mice and trying to keep warm.

On the day the Grisha Examiners came, the boy and the two girls were perched in the window seat of a dusty upstairs bedroom, hoping to catch a glimpse of the mail coach. Instead, they saw a sleigh, a troika pulled by three black horses, pass through the white stone gates onto the estate. They watched its silent progress through the snow to the Duke’s front door. Three figures emerged in elegant fur hats and heavy wool kefta: one in crimson, one in darkest blue, and one in vibrant purple.“Grisha!” the brunette girl whispered. “Quick!” said the boy. In an instant, they had shaken off their shoes and were running silently down the hall, slipping through the empty music room and darting behind a column in the gallery that overlooked the sitting room where Ana Kuya liked to receive guests. Ana Kuya was already there, birdlike in her black dress, pouring tea from the samovar, her large key ring jangling at her waist. “There are just the three this year, then?” said a woman’s low voice.

They peered through the railing of the balcony to the room below. Two of the Grisha sat by the fire: a handsome man in blue and a woman in red robes with a haughty, refined air. The third, a young blond man, ambled about the room, stretching his legs. “Yes,” said Ana Kuya. “A boy and two girls, the youngest here by quite a bit. All around eight, we think.” “You think?” asked the man in blue.“When the parents are deceased …” “We understand,” said the woman. “We are, of course, great admirers of your institution. We only wish more of the nobility took an interest in the common people.” “Our Duke is a very great man,” said Ana Kuya. Up in the balcony, the boy and the girl nodded sagely to each other. Their benefactor, Duke Keramsov, was a celebrated war hero and a friend to the people. When he had returned from the front lines, he converted his estate into an orphanage and a home for war widows. They were told to keep him nightly in their prayers.

“And what are they like, these children?” Asked the woman. “The youngest girl, Allessa as well as the other Alina have some talent for drawing. The boy is most at home in the meadow and the wood.” “But what are they like?” repeated the woman. Ana Kuya pursed her withered lips. “What are they like? They are undisciplined, contrary, far too attached to each other. They—” “They are listening to every word we say,” said the young man in purple. The boy and the blonde girl jumped in surprise while the brunette smirked. He was staring directly at their hiding spot. They shrank behind the column, but it was too late. Ana Kuya’s voice lashed out like a whip. “Alina Starkov! Malyen Oretsev! Allessa Staleen! Come down here at once!” Reluctantly, Alina, Allessa, and Mal made their way down the narrow spiral staircase at the end of the gallery. When they reached the bottom, the woman in red rose from her chair and gestured them forward.

“Do you know who we are?” the woman asked. Her hair was steel gray. Her face lined, but beautiful. “You’re witches!” blurted Mal. “Witches?” she snarled. She whirled on Ana Kuya. “Is that what you teach at this school? Superstition and lies?” Ana Kuya flushed with embarrassment. The woman in red turned back to Mal, Allessa, and Alina, her dark eyes blazing. “We are not witches. We are practitioners of the Small Science. We keep this country and this kingdom safe.” “As does the First Army,” Ana Kuya said quietly, an unmistakable edge to her voice. The woman in red stiffened, but after a moment she conceded, “As does the King’s Army.” The young man in purple smiled and knelt before the children. He said gently, “When the leaves change color, do you call it magic? What about when you cut your hand and it heals? And when you put a pot of water on the stove and it boils, is it magic then?”

Mal shook his head, his eyes wide. But Alina frowned and said, “Anyone can boil water.” Allessa snorted at this but shrunk under Ana Kuya’s gaze. Ana Kuya sighed in exasperation, but the woman in red laughed. “You’re very right. Anyone can boil water. But not just anyone can master the Small Science. That’s why we’ve come to test you.” She turned to Ana Kuya. “Leave us now.” “Wait!” exclaimed Mal. “What happens if we’re Grisha? What happens to us?” The woman in red looked down at them. “If, by some small chance, one of you is Grisha, then that lucky child will go to a special school where Grisha learn to use their talents.” “You will have the finest clothes, the finest food, whatever your heart desires,” said the man in purple. “Would you like that?” “It is the greatest way that you may serve your King,” said Ana Kuya, still hovering by the door.

“That is very true,” said the woman in red, pleased and willing to make peace. The boy and the girls glanced at each other and, because the adults were not paying close attention, they did not see the blonde girl reach out to clasp the boy’s and Allessa’s hands or the looks that passed between them. The Duke would have recognized that look. He had spent long years on the ravaged northern borders, where the villages were constantly under siege and the peasants fought their battles with little aid from the King or anyone else. He had seen a woman, barefoot and unflinching in her doorway, face down a row of bayonets. He knew the look of a man defending his home with nothing but a rock in his hand.


	2. One

Allessa’s P.O.V.  
(will mostly be in Allessa’s P.O.V. unless stated otherwise)  
Standing on the edge of a crowded road, I looked down onto the rolling fields and abandoned farms of the Tula Valley and got my first glimpse of the Shadow Fold. My regiment was two weeks’ march from the military encampment at Poliznaya and the autumn sun was warm overhead, but I shivered in my coat as I eyed the haze that lay like a dirty smudge on the horizon. A heavy shoulder slammed into me from behind. I stumbled and nearly pitched face-first into the muddy road. Beside me Alina jumped as if startled. Her gaze moved away from the fold. She’d been as captivated as me. “Hey!” shouted the soldier. “Watch yourself!”  
Why don’t you watch your fat feet?” I snapped, and took some satisfaction from the surprise that came over his broad face. Alina stifled a snort beside me. People, particularly big men carrying big rifles, don’t expect lip from a scrawny thing like me or Alina. They always look a bit dazed when they get it. The soldier got over the novelty quickly and gave me a dirty look as he adjusted the pack on his back, then disappeared into the caravan of horses, men, carts, and wagons streaming over the crest of the hill and into the valley below. I quickened my steps, trying to peer over the crowd. We’d lost sight of the yellow flag of the surveyors’ cart hours ago, and we knew we were far behind. As I walked, I took in the green and gold smells of the autumn wood, the soft breeze at my back. The sound of Alina’s soft even breaths beside me. We were on the Vy, the wide road that had once led all the way from Os Alta to the wealthy port cities on Ravka’s western coast. But that was before the Shadow Fold.

Somewhere in the crowd, someone was singing. Singing? What idiot is singing on his way into the Fold? I glanced again at that smudge on the horizon and had to suppress a shudder. I’d seen the Shadow Fold on many maps, a black slash that had severed Ravka from its only coastline and left it landlocked. Sometimes it was shown as a stain, sometimes as a bleak and shapeless cloud. And then there were the maps that just showed the Shadow Fold as a long, narrow lake and labeled it by its other name, “the Unsea,” a name intended to put soldiers and merchants at their ease and encourage crossings. I snorted. That might fool some fat merchant, but it was little comfort to me. Alina took my hand gently and squeezed it. She was just as apprehensive as I was. She was my rock and I hers when things got tough. We stuck together like sisters.  
I tore my attention from the sinister haze hovering in the distance and looked down onto the ruined farms of the Tula. The valley had once been home to some of Ravka’s richest estates. One day it was a place where farmers tended crops and sheep grazed in green fields. The next, a dark slash had appeared on the landscape, a swath of nearly impenetrable darkness that grew with every passing year and crawled with horrors. Where the farmers had gone, their herds, their crops, their homes and families, no one knew. Stop it, I told myself firmly. You’re only making things worse. People have been crossing the Fold for years … usually with massive casualties, but all the same. I took a deep breath to steady myself. “No fainting in the middle of the road,” said a voice close to my ear as a heavy arm landed across my shoulders and gave me a squeeze. I looked up to see Mal’s familiar face, a smile in his bright blue eyes as he fell into step beside me. “C’mon,” he said. “One foot in front of the other. You know how it’s done.”   
Alina slapped his hand lightly. “Come on Mal! She doesn’t need your teasing!” Though she was blushing slightly at his presence. “You’re interfering with my plan.” “Oh really?” “Yes. Faint, get trampled, grievous injuries all around.” Alina snorted. “That sounds like a brilliant plan.” “Ah, but if I’m horribly maimed, I won’t be able to cross the Fold.” Mal nodded slowly. “I see. I can shove you under a cart if that would help.” “I’ll think about it,” I grumbled, but I felt my mood lifting all the same. Despite my best efforts, Mal still had that effect on me. And I wasn’t the only one. A pretty blond girl strolled by and waved, throwing Mal a flirtatious glance over her shoulder. “Hey, Ruby,” he called. “See you later?”  
Ruby giggled and scampered off into the crowd. Mal grinned broadly until he caught my eye roll and Alina’s huff of annoyance. “What? I thought you liked Ruby.” “As it happens, we don’t have much to talk about,” Alina said drily. I nodded in agreement. I actually had liked Ruby—at first. When Mal and I left the orphanage at Keramzin to train for our military service in Poliznaya, I’d been nervous about meeting new people. But lots of girls had been excited to befriend me, and Ruby had been among the most eager. Those friendships lasted as long as it took me to figure out that their only interest in me lay in my proximity to Mal. I knew ALina was bothered by this more considering she was in love with him.   
Now I watched him stretch his arms expansively and turn his face up to the autumn sky, looking perfectly content. There was even, I noted with some disgust, a little bounce in his step. “What is wrong with you?” I whispered furiously. “Nothing,” he said, surprised. “I feel great.” “But how can you be so … so jaunty?” “Jaunty? I’ve never been jaunty. I hope never to be jaunty.” Alina’s giggle prompted him to smirk.  
“Well, then what’s all this?” I asked, waving a hand at him. “You look like you’re on your way to a really good dinner instead of possible death and dismemberment.” Alina’s wince was subtle but there. I squeeze her hand in apology. Mal laughed. “You worry too much. The King’s sent a whole group of Grisha pyros to cover the skiffs, and even a few of those creepy Heartrenders. We have our rifles,” he said, patting the one on his back. “We’ll be fine.” “A rifle won’t make much difference if there’s a bad attack.” Alina adds in. Mal gave me a bemused glance. “What’s with you two lately? You’re even grumpier than usual. And you look terrible.” “Thanks,” Alina groused. “I haven’t been sleeping well.” I just smack his head and nod in agreement.

“What else is new?” He was right, of course. I’d never slept well and neither had Alina. But it had been even worse over the last few days. Saints knew I had plenty of good reasons to dread going into the Fold, reasons shared by every member of our regiment who had been unlucky enough to be chosen for the crossing. But there was something else, a deeper feeling of unease that I couldn’t quite name. I glanced at Mal. There had been a time when I could have told him anything. “I just … have this feeling.” “Stop worrying so much. Maybe they’ll put Mikhael on the skiff. The volcra will take one look at that big juicy belly of his and leave us alone.” Alina just shook her head in disbelief and his insensitivity.

Unbidden, a memory came to me: Mal, Alina, and I, sitting side by side in a chair in the Duke’s library, flipping through the pages of a large leather-bound book. We’d happened on an illustration of a volcra: long, filthy claws; leathery wings; and rows of razor-sharp teeth for feasting on human flesh. They were blind from generations spent living and hunting in the Fold, but legend had it they could smell human blood from miles away. I’d pointed to the page and asked, “What is it holding?” I could still hear Mal’s whisper in my ear. “I think—I think it’s a foot.” We’d slammed the book shut and run squealing out into the safety of the sunlight … .

Without realizing it, I’d stopped walking, frozen in place, unable to shake the memory from my mind. When Mal realized I wasn’t with him and Alina, he gave a great beleaguered sigh and marched back to me. He rested his hands on my shoulders and gave me a little shake. “I was kidding. No one’s going to eat Mikhael.” “I know,” I said, staring down at my boots. “You’re hilarious.” “Allessa, come on. We’ll be fine. You’ll be with us the whole time.” Alina nodded. “Yeah, we won’t be apart for a second.” “You can’t know that.” “Look at me.” I willed myself to raise my eyes to his. “I know you’re scared. I am, too. But we’re going to do this, and we’re going to be fine. We always are. Okay?” He smiled, and my heart gave a very loud thud in my chest.

I rubbed my thumb over the scar that ran across the palm of my right hand and took a shaky breath. “Okay,” I said grudgingly, and I actually felt myself smiling back. Alina nodded and took my hand, sending him a lovestruck grin that he missed. Idiot. “Madam’s spirits have been restored!” Mal shouted. “The sun can once more shine!”  
“Oh will you shut up?” I turned to give him a punch, but before I could, he’d grabbed hold of me and lifted me off my feet. A clatter of hooves and shouts split the air. Mal yanked me to the side of the road just as a huge black coach roared past, scattering people before it as they ran to avoid the pounding hooves of four black horses. Beside the whip-wielding driver perched two soldiers in charcoal coats. Alina’s shriek of my name was still ringing in my ears.

The Darkling. There was no mistaking his black coach or the uniform of his personal guard. Another coach, this one lacquered red, rumbled past us at a more leisurely pace. I looked up at Mal, my heart racing from the close call. “Thanks,” I whispered. Mal suddenly seemed to realize that he had his arms around me. He let go and hastily stepped back. I brushed the dust from my coat, hoping he wouldn’t notice the look of annoyance on my face. Alina would have been in heaven. I shoot her an apologetic look and she rolls her eyes and smiles. A third coach rolled by, lacquered in blue, and a girl leaned out the window. She had curling black hair and wore a hat of silver fox. She scanned the watching crowd and, predictably, her eyes lingered on Mal.

Alina was just mooning over him, I chided myself before I yelled. Why shouldn’t some gorgeous Grisha do the same? Her lips curled into a small smile as she held Mal’s gaze, watching him over her shoulder until the coach was out of sight. Mal goggled dumbly after her, his mouth slightly open. “Close your mouth before something flies in,” I snapped feeling defensive over my hurt friend who was staring at the ground.  
Mal blinked, still looking dazed. “Did you see that?” a voice bellowed. I turned to see Mikhael loping toward us, wearing an almost comical expression of awe. Mikhael was a huge redhead with a wide face and an even wider neck. Behind him, Dubrov, reedy and dark, hurried to catch up. They were both trackers in Mal’s unit and never far from his side.  
“Of course I saw it,” Mal said, his dopey expression evaporating into a cocky grin. I rolled my eyes. “She looked right at you!” shouted Mikhael, clapping Mal on the back. Mal gave a casual shrug, but his smile widened. “So she did,” he said smugly. Dubrov shifted nervously. “They say Grisha girls can put spells on you.” I snorted and Alina rolled her eyes Mikhael looked at me as if he hadn’t even known I was there. “Hey, Stick one and Stick two,” he said, and gave me a little jab on the arm. I scowled at the nickname, but he had already turned back to Mal. “You know she’ll be staying at camp,” he said with a leer. “I hear the Grisha tent’s as big as a cathedral,” added Dubrov.

“Lots of nice shadowy nooks,” said Mikhael, and actually waggled his brows. Mal whooped. Without sparing me or Alina another glance, the three of them strode off, shouting and shoving one another. “Great seeing you guys,” I muttered under my breath. “Yeah, bye.” Alina whispers. I readjusted the strap of the satchel slung across my shoulders and started back down the road, joining the last few stragglers down the hill and into Kribirsk. I didn’t bother to hurry. I’d probably get yelled at when I finally made it to the Documents Tent, but there was nothing I could do about it now. Alina dutifully walked beside me brooding over Mal. I rubbed my arm where Mikhael had punched me. Sticks. I hated that name. You didn’t call me Sticks when you were drunk on kvas and trying to paw me at the spring bonfire, you miserable oaf, I thought spitefully.

Kribirsk wasn’t much to look at. According to the Senior Cartographer, it had been a sleepy market town in the days before the Shadow Fold, little more than a dusty main square and an inn for weary travelers on the Vy. But now it had become a kind of ramshackle port city, growing up around a permanent military encampment and the drydocks where the sandskiffs waited to take passengers through the darkness to West Ravka. We passed taverns and pubs and what I was pretty sure were brothels meant to cater to the troops of the King’s Army. There were shops selling rifles and crossbows, lamps and torches, all necessary equipment for a trek across the Fold. The little church with its whitewashed walls and gleaming onion domes was in surprisingly good repair. Or maybe not so surprising, I considered. Anyone contemplating a trip across the Shadow Fold would be smart to stop and pray. I found my way to where the surveyors were billeted, deposited my pack on a cot, and hurried over to the Documents Tent next to Alina. To my relief, the Senior Cartographer was nowhere in sight, and we were able to slip inside unseen.

Entering the white canvas tent, I felt myself relax for the first time since I’d caught sight of the Fold. The Documents Tent was essentially the same in every camp I’d seen, full of bright light and rows of drafting tables where artists and surveyors bent to their work. After the noise and jostle of the journey, there was something soothing about the crackle of paper, the smell of ink, and the soft scratching of nibs and brushes. I pulled my sketchbook from my coat pocket and slid onto a workbench beside Alexei, who turned to me and Alina and whispered irritably, “Where have you been?” “Nearly getting trampled by the Darkling’s coach,” I replied, grabbing a clean piece of paper and flipping through my sketches to try to find a suitable one to copy. Alexei, Alina, and I were all junior cartographers’ assistants and, as part of our training, we had to submit two finished sketches or renderings at the end of every day.

Alexei drew in a sharp breath. “Really? Did you actually see him?” “Actually, I was too busy trying not to die.” “There are worse ways to go.” He caught sight of the sketch of a rocky valley I was about to start copying. “Ugh. Not that one.” He flipped through my sketchbook to an elevation of a mountain ridge and tapped it with his finger. “There.” I barely had time to put pen to paper before the Senior Cartographer entered the tent and came swooping down the aisle, observing our work as he passed. “I hope that’s the second sketch you’re starting, Allessa.” “Yes,” I lied. “Yes, it is.” As soon as the Cartographer had passed on, Alexei whispered, “Tell me about the coach.” Alina had drifted off to her own world as she started her own sketches, passed up in favor of the Senior Cartographer picking on me. Always the smallest, always the shyest, always the weakest. My innocent face never helped. Nor did my scrawny stature. I was overall a too skinny five foot nothing innocent little girl. Not a woman, not even close.

“I have to finish my sketches.” “Here,” he said in exasperation, sliding one of his sketches over to me. “He’ll know it’s your work.” “It’s not that good. You should be able to pass it off as yours.” “Now there’s the Alexei I know and tolerate,” I grumbled, but I didn’t give back the sketch. Alexei was one of the most talented assistants and he knew it. Alexei extracted every last detail from me about the three Grisha coaches. I was grateful for the sketch, so I did my best to satisfy his curiosity as I finished up my elevation of the mountain ridge and worked in my thumb measurements of some of the highest peaks. By the time we were finished, dusk was falling. We handed in our work and walked to the mess tent, where we stood in line for muddy stew ladled out by a sweaty cook and found seats with some of the other surveyors. I passed the meal in silence, listening to Alexei and the others exchange camp gossip and jittery talk about tomorrow’s crossing and prodding Alina to at least eat a roll. Alexei insisted that I retell the story of the Grisha coaches, and it was met by the usual mix of fascination and fear that greeted any mention of the Darkling.  
“He’s not natural,” said Eva, another assistant; she had pretty green eyes that did little to distract from her piglike nose. “None of them are.” Alexei sniffed. “Please spare us your superstition, Eva.” “It was a Darkling who made the Shadow Fold to begin with.” “That was hundreds of years ago!” protested Alexei. “And that Darkling was completely mad.” “This one is just as bad.” “Peasant,” Alexei said, and dismissed her with a wave. Alina and I giggled quietly. Eva gave him an affronted look and deliberately turned away from him to talk to her friends. I stayed quiet. I was more a peasant than Eva, despite her superstitions. It was only by the Duke’s charity that I could read and write, but by unspoken agreement, Mal, Alina, and I avoided mentioning Keramzin.

As if on cue, a raucous burst of laughter pulled me from my thoughts. I looked over my shoulder. Mal was holding court at a rowdy table of trackers. Alexei followed my glance. “How did you two become friends anyway?” “We grew up together. Him, Alina, and I” “You don’t seem to have much in common.” I shrugged. “I guess it’s easy to have a lot in common when you’re kids.” Like loneliness, and memories of parents we were meant to forget, and the pleasure of escaping chores to play tag in our meadow. Alexei looked so skeptical that I had to laugh. “He wasn’t always the Amazing Mal, expert tracker and seducer of Grisha girls.” Alina winces and I mutter a quick apology to which she just shrugs and smile, though it is strained. Alexei’s jaw dropped. “He seduced a Grisha girl?” “No, but I’m sure he will,” Alina muttered possibly too bitterly. “So what was he like?” “He was short and pudgy and afraid of baths,” I said with some satisfaction. Alexei glanced at Mal. “I guess things change.”

I rubbed my thumb over the scar in my palm. “I guess they do.” Alina whispered again. The pain in her voice was only palpable to me. She quickly scurried away, saying she would see me later in the tent. We cleared our plates and drifted out of the mess tent into the cool night. On the way back to the barracks, we took a detour so that we could walk by the Grisha camp. The Grisha pavilion really was the size of a cathedral, covered in black silk, it's blue, red, and purple pennants flying high above. Hidden somewhere behind it were the Darkling’s tents, guarded by Corporalki Heartrenders and the Darkling’s personal guard. When Alexei had looked his fill, we wended our way back to our quarters. Alexei got quiet and started cracking his knuckles, and I knew we were both thinking about tomorrow’s crossing. Judging by the gloomy mood in the barracks, we weren’t alone. Some people were already on their cots, sleeping—or trying to—while others huddled by lamplight, talking in low tones. A few sat clutching their icons, praying to their Saints.  
I unfurled my bedroll on a narrow cot next to Alina, removed my boots, and hung up my coat. Then I wriggled down into the fur-lined blankets and stared up at the roof, waiting for sleep. I stayed that way for a long time, until the lamplights had all been extinguished and the sounds of conversation gave way to soft snores and the rustle of bodies. Tomorrow, if everything went as planned, we would pass safely through to West Ravka, and I would get my first glimpse of the True Sea. There, Mal and the other trackers would hunt for red wolves and sea foxes and other coveted creatures that could only be found in the west. Alina and I would stay with the cartographers in Os Kervo to finish our training and help draft whatever information we managed to glean in the Fold. And then, of course, I’d have to cross the Fold again in order to return home. But it was hard to think that far ahead.  
I was still wide awake when I heard it. Tap tap. Pause. Tap. Then again: Tap tap. Pause. Tap. “What’s going on?” mumbled Alexei drowsily from the cot nearest mine. “Nothing,” I whispered, already slipping out of my bedroll and shoving my feet into my boots. I grabbed my coat and crept out of the barracks as quietly as I could so as not to wake Alina. As I opened the door I heard a giggle, and a female voice called from somewhere in the dark room, “If it’s that tracker, tell him to come inside and keep me warm.” “If he wants to catch tsifil, I’m sure you’ll be his first stop,” I said sweetly, and slipped out into the night. The cold air stung my cheeks and I buried my chin in my collar, wishing I’d taken the time to grab my scarf and gloves. Mal was sitting on the rickety steps, his back to me. Beyond him, I could see Mikhael and Dubrov passing a bottle back and forth beneath the glowing lights of the footpath.  
I scowled. “Please tell me you didn’t just wake me up to inform me that you’re going to the Grisha tent. What do you want, advice?” “You weren’t sleeping. You were lying awake worrying.” “Wrong. I was planning how to sneak into the Grisha pavilion and snag myself a cute Corporalnik.” I was mad that he was blind to Alina’s affections Mal laughed. I hesitated by the door. I thought about just turning around and going back inside. Instead, I swallowed my anger and sat down beside him. “I hope you brought me something nice,” I said. “Allessa’s Secrets of Seduction do not come cheap.” He grinned. “Can you put it on my tab?” “I suppose. But only because I know you’re good for it.” I peered into the dark and watched Dubrov take a swig from the bottle and then lurch forward. Mikhael put his arm out to steady him, and the sounds of their laughter floated back to us on the night air. Mal shook his head and sighed. “He always tries to keep up with Mikhael. He’ll probably end up puking on my boots.”  
“Serves you right,” I said. “So what are you doing here?” When we’d first started our military service a year ago, Mal had visited me and Alina almost every night. But he hadn’t come by in months. He shrugged. “I don’t know. You looked so miserable at dinner.” Alina was worse. I think snarkily. “Just thinking about the crossing,” I said carefully. It wasn’t exactly a lie. I was terrified of entering the Fold, and Mal definitely didn’t need to know that Alexei and I had been talking about him. “But I’m touched by your concern.” “Hey,” he said with a grin, “I worry.” “If you’re lucky, a volcra will have me for breakfast tomorrow and then you won’t have to fret anymore.” “You know I’d be lost without you.” “You’ve never been lost in your life,” I scoffed. Alina and I were the mapmakers, but Mal could find true north blindfolded and standing on his head. He bumped his shoulder against mine. “You know what I mean.” “Sure,” I said. But I didn’t. Not really. We sat in silence, watching our breath make plumes in the cold air.  
Mal studied the toes of his boots and said, “I guess I’m nervous, too.” I nudged him with my elbow and said with confidence I didn’t feel, “If we can take on Ana Kuya, we can handle a few volcra.” “If I remember right, the last time we crossed Ana Kuya, you and Alina got your ears boxed and we all ended up mucking out the stables.” I winced. “I’m trying to be reassuring. You could at least pretend I’m succeeding.”  
“You know the funny thing?” he asked. “I actually miss her sometimes.” I did my best to hide my astonishment. We’d spent more than ten years of our lives in Keramzin, but usually I got the impression that Mal wanted to forget everything about the place, maybe even me and Alina. There he’d been another lost refugee, another orphan made to feel grateful for every mouthful of food, every used pair of boots. In the army, he’d carved out a real place for himself where no one needed to know that he’d once been an unwanted little boy.  
“Me too,” I admitted. “We could write to her.” “Maybe,” Mal said. Suddenly, he reached out and took hold of my hand. I tried to ignore the little jolt of surprise that went through me. Mal never touched anyone “This time tomorrow, we’ll be sitting in the harbor at Os Kervo, looking out at the ocean and drinking kvas.” I glanced at Dubrov weaving back and forth and smiled. “Is Dubrov buying?” “Just you and me and Alina,” Mal said. “Really?” “It’s always just us.” For a moment, it seemed like it was true. The world was this step, this circle of lamplight, the two of us suspended in the dark. “Come on!” bellowed Mikhael from the path. Mal started like a man waking from a dream. He gave my hand a last squeeze before he dropped it. “Gotta go,” he said, his brash grin sliding back into place. “Try to get some sleep.” He hopped lightly from the stairs and jogged off to join his friends. “Wish me luck!” he called over his shoulder.  
“Good luck,” I said automatically and then wanted to kick myself. Good luck? Have a lovely time, Mal. Hope you find a pretty Grisha, fall deeply in love, and make lots of gorgeous, disgustingly talented babies together. I sat frozen on the steps, watching them disappear down the path, still feeling the warm pressure of Mal’s hand in mine. Oh well, I thought as I got to my feet. Maybe he’ ll fall into a ditch on his way there. I edged back into the barracks, closed the door tightly behind me, and gratefully snuggled into my bedroll.  
Would that black-haired Grisha girl sneak out of the pavilion to meet Mal? I pushed the thought away. It was none of my business, and really, I didn’t want to know. Mal would always be Alina’s friend and I would always watch her suffer from an unreturned love. For how long? said a nagging voice in my head. Alexei was right: things change. Mal had changed for the better. He’d gotten handsomer, braver, cockier. And I’d gotten … taller and not even by much. Going from 4”3 to 5 foot straight. I sighed and rolled onto my side. I wanted to believe that Mal and I would always be friends, but I had to face the fact that we were on different paths. Lying in the dark, waiting for sleep, I wondered if those paths would just keep taking us further and further apart, and if a day might come when we would be strangers to each other once again.


	3. Two

So, Alina was on a different skiff and it is assumed she is dead. I have not decided yet. From now on it is Allessa’s P.O.V. This will be like my Les Mis one where I basically replace her with me. Yeah..again BAF!

The morning passed in a blur: breakfast, a brief trip to the Documents Tent to pack additional inks and paper, then the chaos of the drydock. I stood with the rest of the surveyors, waiting our turn to board one of a small fleet of sandskiffs. Behind us, Kribirsk was waking up and going about its business. Ahead lay the strange, shifting darkness of the Fold. Animals were too noisy and scared too easily for travel on the Unsea, so crossings were made on sandskiffs, shallow sleds rigged with enormous sails that let them skate almost soundlessly over the dead gray sands. The skiffs were loaded with grain, timber, and raw cotton, but on the trip back they would be stocked with sugar, rifles, and all manner of finished goods that passed through the seaports of West Ravka.  
Looking out at the skiff’s deck, equipped with little more than a sail and a rickety railing, all I could think was that it offered no place to hide.At the mast of each sled, flanked by heavily armed soldiers, stood two Grisha Etherealki, the Order of Summoners, in dark blue kefta. The silver embroidery at their cuffs and the hems of their robes indicated that they were Squallers, Grisha who could raise or lower the pressure of the air and fill the skiffs’ sails with wind that would carry us across the long miles of the Fold. Soldiers armed with rifles and overseen by a grim officer lined the railings. Between them stood more Etherealki, but their blue robes bore the red cuffs that indicated they could raise fire.  
At a signal from the skiff’s captain, the Senior Cartographer herded me, Alexei, and the rest of the assistants onto the skiff to join the other passengers. Then he took his place beside the Squallers at the mast, where he would help them navigate through the dark. He had a compass in his hand, but it would be of little use once we were on the Fold. As we crowded on deck, I caught a glimpse of Mal standing with the trackers on the other side of the skiff. They were also armed with rifles. A row of archers stood behind them, the quivers on their backs bristling with arrows tipped in Grisha steel. I fingered the hilt of the army-issue knife tucked into my belt. It didn’t give me much confidence. A shout rang out from the foreman on the docks, and crews of burly men on the ground began pushing the skiffs into the colorless sand that marked the farthest reaches of the Fold. They stepped back hurriedly, as if that pale, dead sand would burn their feet.  
Then it was our turn, and with a sudden jolt our skiff lurched forward, creaking against the earth as the dockworkers heaved. I grabbed the railing to steady myself, my heart beating wildly. The Squallers lifted their arms. The sails billowed open with a loud snap, and our skiff surged forward into the Fold. At first, it was like drifting into a thick cloud of smoke, but there was no heat, no smell of fire. Sounds seemed to dampen and the world became still. I watched the sandskiffs ahead of us slide into the darkness, fading from view, one after another. I realized that I could no longer see the prow of our skiff and then that I could not see my own hand on the railing. I looked back over my shoulder. The living world had disappeared. Darkness fell around us, black, weightless, and absolute. We were in the Fold.  
It was like standing at the end of everything. I held tight to the railing, feeling the wood dig into my hand, grateful for its solidity. I focused on that and the feel of my toes in my boots, gripping the deck. To my left, I could hear Alexei breathing. I tried to think about the soldiers with their rifles and the blue-robed Grisha pyros. The hope in crossing the Fold was that we would pass through silently and unnoticed; no shot would sound, no fire would be summoned. But their presence comforted me all the same. I don’t know how long we went on that way, the skiffs floating forward, the only sound the gentle rasp of sand on their hulls. It seemed like minutes, but it might have been hours. We’re going to be okay, I thought to myself. We’re going to be okay. Then I felt Alexei’s hand fumbling for mine. He seized hold of my wrist.  
“Listen!” he whispered, and his voice was hoarse with terror. For a moment, all I heard was his ragged breathing and the steady hiss of the skiff. Then, somewhere out in the darkness, another sound, faint but relentless: the rhythmic flapping of wings. I grabbed Alexei’s arm with one hand and clutched the hilt of my knife with the other, my heart pounding, my eyes straining to see something, anything in the blackness. I heard the sound of triggers being cocked, the tap of arrows being notched. Someone whispered, “Be ready.” We waited, listening to the sound of wings beating the air, growing louder as they drew nearer, like the drums of an oncoming army. I thought I could feel the wind stir against my cheek as they circled closer, closer. “Burn!” The command rang out, followed by the crackle of flint striking stone and an explosive whoosh as rippling blooms of Grisha flame erupted from each of the skiffs.

I squinted into the sudden brightness, waiting for my vision to adjust. In the firelight, I saw them. Volcra were supposed to move in small flocks, but there they were … not tens but hundreds, hovering and swooping in the air around the skiff. They were more frightening than anything I had ever seen in any book, than any monster I could have imagined. Shots rang out. The archers let fly, and the shrieks of volcra split the air, high and horrible. They dove. I heard a shrill wail and watched in horror as a soldier was lifted from his feet and carried into the air, kicking and struggling. Alexei and I huddled together, crouched low against the railing, clinging to our flimsy knives and muttering our prayers as the world dissolved into nightmare. All around us, men shouted, people screamed, soldiers were locked in combat with the massive, writhing forms of winged beasts, and the unnatural darkness of the Fold was broken in fits and starts by bursts of golden Grisha flame.  
Then a cry rent the air beside me. I gasped as Alexei’s arm was yanked from mine. In a spurt of flame, I saw him clutching at the railing with one hand. I saw his howling mouth, his wide, terrified eyes, and the monstrous thing that held him in its glistening gray arms, its wings beating the air as it lifted him from his feet, its thick claws sunk deep into his back, its talons already wet with his blood. Alexei’s fingers slipped on the railing. I lunged forward and grabbed his arm. “Hold on!” I cried. Then the flame vanished, and in the darkness I felt Alexei’s fingers pulled from mine. “Alexei!” I shouted. His screams faded into the sounds of battle as the volcra carried him into the dark. Another burst of flame lit the sky, but he was gone. “Alexei!” I yelled, leaning over the side of the railing. “Alexei!”  
The answer came in a gust of wings as another volcra swooped down on me. I felt myself missing Alina’s presence and hoping she was safe. I careened backward, barely avoiding its grasp, my knife held out before me with trembling hands. The volcra lunged forward, the firelight glinting off its milky, sightless eyes, its gaping mouth crowded with rows of sharp, crooked black teeth. I saw a flash of powder from the corner of my eye, heard a rifle shot, and the volcra stumbled, yowling in rage and pain. “Move!” It was Mal, rifle in hand, face streaked with blood. He grabbed my arm and pulled me behind him. The volcra was still coming, clawing its way across the deck, one of its wings hanging at a crooked angle. Mal was trying to reload in the firelight, but the volcra was too fast. It rushed at us, claws slashing, its talons tearing across Mal’s chest. He screamed in pain.  
I grabbed hold of the volcra’s broken wing and stabbed my knife deep between its shoulders. Its muscled flesh felt slimy beneath my hands. It screeched and thrashed free of my grip, and I fell backward, hitting the deck hard. It lunged at me in a frenzy of rage, its huge jaws snapping. Another shot rang out. The volcra stumbled and fell in a grotesque heap, black blood pouring from its mouth. In the dim light, I saw Mal lowering his rifle. His torn shirt was dark with blood. The rifle slid from his fingers as he swayed and fell to his knees, then collapsed onto the deck. “Mal!” I was at his side in an instant, my hands pressing down on his chest in a desperate attempt to stop the bleeding. “Mal!” I sobbed, the tears streaming down my cheeks. Oh god! No! The air was thick with the smell of blood and gunpowder. All around us, I heard rifle fire, people weeping … and the obscene sound of something feeding. The flames of the Grisha were growing weaker, more sporadic, and worst of all, I realized the skiff had stopped moving. This is it, I thought hopelessly. I bent low over Mal, keeping pressure on the wound.  
His breathing was labored. “They’re coming,” he gasped. I looked up and saw, in the feeble, fading glow of Grisha fire, two volcra swooping down upon us.  
I huddled over Mal, shielding his body with mine. I knew it was futile, but it was all I could offer. I smelled the fetid stench of the volcra, felt the air gusting from their wings. I pressed my forehead to Mal’s and heard him whisper, “I’ll meet you in the meadow.” Something inside me gave way, in fury, in hopelessness, in the certainty of my own death. I felt Mal’s blood beneath my palms, saw the pain in his beloved face. A volcra screeched in triumph as its talons sank into my shoulder. Pain shot through my body. And the world went white.  
I closed my eyes as a sudden, piercing flood of light exploded across my vision. It seemed to fill my head, blinding me, drowning me. From somewhere above, I heard a horrible shriek. I felt the volcra’s claws loosen their grip, felt the thud as I fell forward and my head connected with the deck, and then I felt nothing at all.


	4. Three

I woke with a start. I could feel the rush of air on my skin, and I opened my eyes to see what looked like dark clouds of smoke. I was on my back, on the deck of the skiff. It took me only a moment to realize that the clouds were getting thinner, giving way to dark wisps and, between them, a bright autumn sun. I closed my eyes again, feeling relief wash over me. We’re on our way out of the Fold, I thought. Somehow, we made it through. Or had we? Memories of the volcra attack flooded back to me in a frightening rush. Where was Mal? Where was Alina? I tried to sit up and a bolt of pain shot through my shoulders. I ignored it and pushed myself up. I found myself looking down a rifle barrel. “Get that thing away from me,” I snapped, batting it aside.

The soldier swung the rifle back around, jabbing it threateningly at me. “Stay where you are,” he commanded. I stared at him, stunned. “What’s wrong with you?” “She’s awake!” he shouted over his shoulder. He was joined by two more armed soldiers, the captain of the skiff, and a Corporalnik. With a thrum of panic, I saw that the cuffs of her red kefta were embroidered in black. What did a Heartrender want with me? I looked around. A Squaller still stood by the mast, arms raised, driving us forward on a strong wind, a single soldier by his side. The deck was slick with blood in places. My stomach turned as I remembered the horror of the battle. A Corporalki Healer was tending to the wounded. Where was Mal?

There were soldiers and Grisha standing by the railings, bloodied, singed, and considerably fewer in number than when we had set out. They were all watching me warily. With growing fear, I realized that the soldiers and the Corporalnik were actually guarding me. Like a prisoner. I said, “Mal Oretsev. He’s a tracker. He was injured during the attack. Where is he?” No one said anything. “Please,” I begged. “Where is he?” There was a jolt as the skiff came aground. The captain gestured at me with his rifle. “Up.” I thought about simply refusing to get up until they told me what had happened to Mal, but a glance at the Heartrender made me reconsider. I got to my feet, wincing at the pain in my shoulder, then I stumbled as the skiff started to move again, pulled forward by the drydock workers on land. Instinctively, I reached out to steady myself, but the soldier I touched shrank back from me as if burned. I managed to find my footing, but my thoughts were reeling.

The skiff halted again. “Move,” the captain commanded. The soldiers led me at riflepoint from the skiff. I passed the other survivors, acutely aware of their curious and frightened stares, and caught sight of the Senior Cartographer babbling excitedly to a soldier. I wanted to stop to tell him what had happened to Alexei, but I didn’t dare.As I stepped onto the drydock, I was surprised to see that we were back in Kribirsk. We hadn’t even made it across the Fold. I shuddered. Better to be marching through camp with a rifle at my back than to be on the Unsea.

But not much better, I thought anxiously. As the soldiers marched me up the main road, people turned from their work to gawk. My mind was whirring, searching for answers and finding nothing. Had I done something wrong in the Fold? Broken some kind of military protocol? And how had we gotten out of the Fold, anyway? The wounds near my shoulder throbbed. The last thing I remembered was the terrible pain of the volcra’s claws piercing my back, that searing burst of light. How had we survived? Where was Alina? These thoughts were driven from my mind as we approached the Officers’ Tent. The captain called the guards to a halt and stepped toward the entrance. The Corporalnik reached out a hand to stop him. “This is a waste of time. We should proceed immediately to—”

“Take your hand off me, bloodletter,” the captain snapped and shook his arm free. For a moment, the Corporalnik stared at him, her eyes dangerous, then she smiled coldly and bowed. “Da, kapitan.” I felt the hair on my arms rise. The captain disappeared inside the tent. We waited. I glanced nervously at the Corporalnik, who had apparently forgotten her feud with the captain and was scrutinizing me once again. She was young, maybe even younger than I was, but that hadn’t stopped her from confronting a superior officer. Why would it? She could kill the captain where he stood without ever raising a weapon. I rubbed my arms, trying to shake the chill that had settled over me.

The tent flap opened, and I was horrified to see the captain emerge followed by a stern Colonel Raevsky. What could I possibly have done that would require the involvement of a senior officer? The colonel peered at me, his weathered face grim. “What are you?”

 

“Assistant Cartographer Allessa Staleen. Royal Corps of Surveyors—” He cut me off. “What are you?” I blinked. “I … I’m a mapmaker, sir.” Raevsky scowled. He pulled one of the soldiers aside and muttered something to him that sent the soldier sprinting back toward the drydocks. “Let’s go,” he said tersely. I felt the jab of a rifle barrel in my back and marched forward. I had a very bad feeling about where I was being taken. It can’t be, I thought desperately. It makes no sense. But as the huge black tent loomed larger and larger before us, there could be no doubt about where we were headed.

The entrance to the Grisha tent was guarded by more Corporalki Heartrenders and charcoal-clad oprichniki, the elite soldiers who made up the Darkling’s personal guard. The oprichniki weren’t Grisha, but they were just as frightening. The Corporalnik from the skiff conferred with the guards at the front of the tent, then she and Colonel Raevsky disappeared inside. I waited, my heart racing, aware of the whispers and stares behind me, my anxiety rising. High above, four flags fluttered in the breeze: blue, red, purple, and above them all, black. Just last night, Mal and his friends had been laughing about trying to get into this tent, wondering what they might find inside. And now it seemed I would be the one to find out. Where is Mal? The thought kept returning to me, the only clear thought I seemed to be able to form.

After what seemed an eternity, the Corporalnik returned and nodded at the captain, who led me into the Grisha tent. For a moment, all my fear disappeared, eclipsed by the beauty that surrounded me. The tent’s inner walls were draped with cascades of bronze silk that caught the glimmering candlelight from chandeliers sparkling high above. The floors were covered in rich rugs and furs. Along the walls, shimmering silken partitions separated compartments where Grisha clustered in their vibrant kefta. Some stood talking, others lounged on cushions drinking tea. Two were bent over a game of chess. From somewhere, I heard the strings of a balalaika being plucked. The Duke’s estate had been beautiful, but it was a melancholy beauty of dusty rooms and peeling paint, the echo of something that had once been grand. The Grisha tent was like nothing I had ever seen before, a place alive with power and wealth.

The soldiers marched me down a long carpeted aisle at the end of which I could see a black pavilion on a raised dais. A ripple of curiosity spread through the tent as we passed. Grisha men and women stopped their conversations to gape at me; a few even rose to get a better look. By the time we reached the dais, the room was all but silent, and I felt sure that everyone must hear my heart hammering in my chest. In front of the black pavilion, a few richly attired ministers wearing the King’s double eagle and a group of Corporalki clustered around a long table spread with maps. At the head of the table was an ornately carved, high-backed chair of blackest ebony, and upon it lounged a figure in a black kefta, his chin resting on one pale hand. Only one Grisha wore black, was permitted to wear black. Colonel Raevsky stood beside him, speaking in tones far too low for me to hear.

I stared, torn between fear and fascination. He’s too young, I thought. This Darkling had been commanding the Grisha since before I was born, but the man seated above me on the dais didn’t look much older than I did. He had a sharp, beautiful face, a shock of thick black hair, and clear gray eyes that glimmered like quartz. I knew that the more powerful Grisha were said to live long lives, and Darklings were the most powerful of them all. But I felt the wrongness of it and I remembered Eva’s words: He’s not natural. None of them are. A high, tinkling laugh sounded from the crowd that had formed near me at the base of the dais. I recognized the beautiful girl in blue, the one from the Etherealki coach who had been so taken with Mal. She whispered something to her chestnut-haired friend, and they both laughed again. My cheeks burned as I imagined what I must look like in a torn, shabby coat, after a journey into the Shadow Fold and a battle with a flock of hungry volcra. But I lifted my chin and looked the beautiful girl right in the eye. Laugh all you want, I thought grimly. Whatever you’re whispering, I’ve heard worse. She held my gaze for a moment and then looked away. I enjoyed a brief flash of satisfaction before Colonel Raevsky’s voice brought me back to the reality of my situation.

“Bring them,” he said. I turned to see more soldiers leading a battered and bewildered group of people into the tent and up the aisle. Among them, I spotted the soldier who had been beside me when the volcra attacked and the Senior Cartographer, his usually tidy coat torn and dirty, his face frightened. My distress grew as I realized that they were the survivors from my sandskiff and that they had been brought before the Darkling as witnesses. What had happened out there on the Fold? What did they think I had done? My breath caught as I recognized the trackers in the group. I saw Mikhael first, his shaggy red hair bobbing above the crowd on his thick neck, and leaning on him, bandages peeking out from his bloodied shirt, was a very pale, very tired-looking Mal. My legs went weak and I pressed a hand to my mouth to stifle a sob. Mal was alive. I wanted to push through the crowd and throw my arms around him, but it was all I could do to stay standing as relief flooded through me. Whatever happened here, we would be all right. We had survived the Fold, and we would survive this madness, too. Where was Alina though? 

I looked back at the dais and my elation withered. The Darkling was looking directly at me. He was still listening to Colonel Raevsky, his posture just as relaxed as it had been before, but his gaze was focused, intent. He turned his attention back to the colonel and I realized that I had been holding my breath.

When the bedraggled group of survivors reached the base of the dais, Colonel Raevsky ordered, “Kapitan, report.” The captain stood at attention and answered in an expressionless voice: “Approximately thirty minutes into the crossing, we were set upon by a large flock of volcra. We were pinned down and sustaining heavy casualties. I was fighting on the starboard side of the skiff. At that point, I saw …” The soldier hesitated, and when he spoke again, his voice sounded less sure. “I don’t know exactly what I saw. A blaze of light. Bright as noon, brighter. Like staring into the sun.”

The crowd erupted into murmurs. The survivors from the skiff were nodding, and I found myself nodding along with them. I had seen the blaze of light, too. The soldier snapped back to attention and continued, “The volcra scattered and the light disappeared. I ordered us back to drydock immediately.” “And the girl?” asked the Darkling. With a cold stab of fear, I realized he was talking about me. “I didn’t see the girl, moi soverenyi.” The Darkling raised an eyebrow, turning to the other survivors. “Who actually saw what happened?” His voice was cool, distant, almost disinterested. The survivors broke into muttered discussion with one another. Then slowly, timidly, the Senior Cartographer stepped forward. I felt a keen twinge of pity for him. I’d never seen him so disheveled. His sparse brown hair was standing at all angles on his head; his fingers plucked nervously at his ruined coat.

“Tell us what you saw,” said Raevsky. The Cartographer licked his lips. “We … we were under attack,” he said tremulously. “There was fighting all around. Such noise. So much blood … . One of the boys, Alexei, was taken. It was terrible, terrible.” His hands fluttered like two startled birds. I frowned. If the Cartographer had seen Alexei attacked, then why hadn’t he tried to help? The old man cleared his throat. “They were everywhere. I saw one go after her—” “Who?” asked Raevsky. “Allessa … Allessa Staleen, one of my assistants.”

 

The beautiful girl in blue smirked and leaned over to whisper to her friend. I clenched my jaw. How nice to know that the Grisha could still maintain their snobbery in the midst of hearing about a volcra attack. “Go on,” Raevsky pressed. “I saw one go after her and the tracker,” the Cartographer said, gesturing to Mal. “And where were you?” I asked angrily. The question was out of my mouth before I could think better of it. Every face turned to look at me, but I didn’t care. “You saw the volcra attack us. You saw that thing take Alexei. Why didn’t you help?” “There was nothing I could do,” he pleaded, his hands spread wide. “They were everywhere. It was chaos!” “Alexei might still be alive if you’d gotten off your bony ass to help us!” There was a gasp and a burble of laughter from the crowd. The Cartographer flushed angrily and I felt instantly sorry. If I got out of this mess, I was going to be in very big trouble.

“Enough!” boomed Raevsky. “Tell us what you saw, Cartographer.” The crowd hushed and the Cartographer licked his lips again. “The tracker went down. She was beside him. That thing, the volcra, was coming at them. I saw it on top of her and then … she lit up.” The Grisha erupted into exclamations of disbelief and derision. A few of them laughed. If I hadn’t been so scared and baffled, I might have been tempted to join them. Maybe I shouldn’t have been so hard on him, I thought, looking at the rumpled Cartographer. The poor man clearly took a bump to the head during the attack. “I saw it!” he shouted over the din. “Light came out of her!” Some of the Grisha were jeering openly now, but others were yelling, “Let him speak!” The Cartographer looked desperately to his fellow survivors for support, and to my amazement, I saw some of them nod. Had everyone gone mad? Did they actually think I had chased off the volcra?

“This is absurd!” said a voice from the crowd. It was the beautiful girl in blue. “What are you suggesting, old man? That you’ve found us a Sun Summoner?” “I’m not suggesting anything,” he protested. “I’m only telling what I saw!” “It’s not impossible,” said a heavyset Grisha. He wore the purple kefta of a Materialnik, a member of the Order of Fabrikators. “There are stories—” “Don’t be ridiculous,” the girl laughed, her voice thick with scorn. “The man’s had his wits rattled by the volcra!” The crowd erupted into loud argument.

I suddenly felt very tired. My shoulder throbbed where the volcra had dug its talons into me. I didn’t know what the Cartographer or any of the others on the skiff thought they had seen. I just knew this was all some kind of terrible mistake, and at the end of this farce, I would be the one looking foolish. I cringed when I thought of the teasing I would take when this was over. And hopefully, it would be over soon. “Quiet.” The Darkling barely seemed to raise his voice, but the command sliced through the crowd and silence fell. I suppressed a shiver. He might not find this joke so funny. I just hoped he wouldn’t blame me for it. The Darkling wasn’t known for mercy. Maybe I should be worrying less about being teased and more about being exiled to Tsibeya. Or worse. Eva said that the Darkling had once ordered a Corporalki Healer to seal a traitor’s mouth shut permanently. The man’s lips had been grafted together and he had starved to death. At the time, Alexei and I had laughed and dismissed it as another of Eva’s crazy stories. Now I wasn’t so sure. “Tracker,” the Darkling said softly, “what did you see?”

As one, the crowd turned toward Mal, who looked uneasily at me and then back at the Darkling. “Nothing. I didn’t see anything.” “The girl was right beside you.” Mal nodded. You must have seen something.” Mal glanced at me again, his look weighted with worry and fatigue. I’d never seen him so pale, and I wondered how much blood he had lost. I felt a surge of helpless anger. He was badly hurt. He should be resting instead of standing here answering ridiculous questions. “Just tell us what you remember, tracker,” commanded Raevsky. Mal shrugged slightly and winced at the pain from his wounds. “I was on my back on the deck. Allessa was next to me. I saw the volcra diving, and I knew it was coming for us. I said something and—” “What did you say?” The Darkling’s cool voice cut through the room. “I don’t remember,” Mal said. I recognized the stubborn set of his jaw and knew he was lying. He did remember. “I smelled the volcra, saw it swooping down on us. Allessa screamed and then I couldn’t see anything. The world was just … shining.” “So you didn’t see where the light was coming from?” Raevsky asked.

“Allessa isn’t … She couldn’t …” Mal shook his head. “We’re from the same … village.” I noticed that tiny pause, the orphan’s pause. “If she could do anything like that, I would know.” The Darkling looked at Mal for a long moment and then glanced back at me. “We all have our secrets,” he said. Mal opened his mouth as if to say more, but the Darkling put up a hand to silence him. Anger flashed across Mal’s features but he shut his mouth, his lips pressed into a grim line. The Darkling rose from his chair. He gestured and the soldiers stepped back, leaving me alone to face him. The tent seemed eerily silent. Slowly, he descended the steps. I had to fight the urge to back away from him as he came to a halt in front of me. “Now, what do you say, Allessa Staleen?” he asked pleasantly. I swallowed. My throat was dry and my heart was careening from beat to beat, but I knew I had to speak. I had to make him understand that I’d had no part in any of this. “There’s been some kind of mistake,” I said hoarsely. “I didn’t do anything. I don’t know how we survived.”

The Darkling appeared to consider this. Then he crossed his arms, cocked his head to one side. “Well,” he said, his voice bemused. “I like to think that I know everything that happens in Ravka, and that if I had a Sun Summoner living in my own country, I’d be aware of it.” Soft murmurs of assent rose from the crowd, but he ignored them, watching me closely. “But something powerful stopped the volcra and saved the King’s skiffs.” He paused and waited as if he expected me to solve this conundrum for him. My chin rose stubbornly. “I didn’t do anything,” I said. “Not one thing.” The side of the Darkling’s mouth twitched, as if he were repressing a smile. His eyes slid over me from head to toe and back again. I felt like something strange and shiny, a curiosity that had washed up on a lake shore, that he might kick aside with his boot. “Is your memory as faulty as your friend’s?” he asked and bobbed his head toward Mal. “I don’t …” I faltered. What did I remember? Terror. Darkness. Pain. Mal’s blood. His life flowing out of him beneath my hands. Wondering if Alina was okay. The rage that filled me at the thought of my own helplessness.

“Hold out your arm,” said the Darkling. “What?” “We’ve wasted enough time. Hold out your arm.” A cold spike of fear went through me. I looked around in panic, but there was no help to be had. The soldiers stared forward, stone-faced. The survivors from the skiff looked frightened and tired. The Grisha regarded me curiously. The girl in blue was smirking. Mal’s pale face seemed to have gone even whiter, but there was no answer in his worried eyes. Shaking, I held out my left arm. “Push up your sleeve.” “I didn’t do anything.” I’d meant to say it loudly, to proclaim it, but my voice sounded frightened and small. The Darkling looked at me, waiting. I pushed up my sleeve. He spread his arms and terror washed through me as I saw his palms filling with something black that pooled and curled through the air like ink in water. “Now,” he said in that same soft, conversational voice, as if we were sitting together drinking tea, as if I did not stand before him shaking, “let’s see what you can do.”

He brought his hands together and there was a sound like a thunderclap. I gasped as undulating darkness spread from his clasped hands, spilling in a black wave over me and the crowd. I was blind. The room was gone. Everything was gone. I cried out in terror as I felt the Darkling’s fingers close around my bare wrist. Suddenly, my fear receded. It was still there, cringing like an animal inside me, but it had been pushed aside by something calm and sure and powerful, something vaguely familiar. I felt a call ring through me and, to my surprise, I felt something in me rise up to answer. I pushed it away, pushed it down. Somehow I knew that if that thing got free, it would destroy me. “Nothing there?” the Darkling murmured. I realized how very close he was to me in the dark. My panicked mind seized on his words. Nothing there. That’s right, nothing. Nothing at all. Now leave me be! And to my relief, that struggling thing inside me seemed to lie back down, leaving the Darkling’s call unanswered. “Not so fast,” he whispered. I felt something cold press against the inside of my forearm. In the same moment that I realized it was a knife, the blade cut into my skin.

Pain and fear rushed through me. I cried out. The thing inside me roared to the surface, speeding toward the Darkling’s call. I couldn’t stop myself. I answered. The world exploded into blazing white light. The darkness shattered around us like glass. For a moment, I saw the faces of the crowd, their mouths wide with shock as the tent filled with shining sunlight, the air shimmering with heat. Then the Darkling released his grip, and with his touch went that peculiar sense of certainty that had possessed me. The radiant light disappeared, leaving ordinary candlelight in its place, but I could still feel the warm and inexplicable glow of sunshine on my skin. My legs gave way and the Darkling caught me up against his body with one surprisingly strong arm. “I guess you only look like a mouse,” he whispered in my ear, and then beckoned to one of his personal guard. “Take her,” he said, handing me over to the oprichnik who reached out his arm to support me. I felt myself flush at the indignity of being handed over like a sack of potatoes, but I was too shaky and confused to protest. Blood was running down my arm from the cut the Darkling had given me.

“Ivan!” shouted the Darkling. A tall Heartrender rushed from the dais to the Darkling’s side. “Get her to my coach. I want her surrounded by an armed guard at all times. Take her to the Little Palace and stop for nothing.” Ivan nodded. “And bring a Healer to see to her wounds.” “Wait!” I protested, but the Darkling was already turning away. I grabbed hold of his arm, ignoring the gasp that rose from the Grisha onlookers. “There’s been some kind of mistake. I don’t … I’m not …” My voice trailed off as the Darkling turned slowly to me, his slate eyes drifting to where my hand gripped his sleeve. I let go, but I wasn’t giving up that easily. “I’m not what you think I am,” I whispered desperately. The Darkling stepped closer to me and said, his voice so low that only I could hear, “I doubt you have any idea what you are.” Then he nodded to Ivan. “Go!” The Darkling turned his back on me and walked swiftly toward the raised dais, where he was swarmed by advisers and ministers, all talking loudly and rapidly.

Ivan grabbed me roughly by the arm. “Come on.” “Ivan,” called the Darkling, “mind your tone. She is Grisha now.” Ivan reddened slightly and gave a small bow, but his grip on my arm didn’t slacken as he pulled me down the aisle. “You have to listen to me,” I gasped as I struggled to keep up with his long strides. “I’m not Grisha. I’m a mapmaker. I’m not even a very good mapmaker.”

Ivan ignored me. I looked back over my shoulder, searching the crowd. Mal was arguing with the captain from the sandskiff. As if he felt my eyes on him, he looked up and met my gaze. I could see my own panic and confusion mirrored in his white face. I wanted to cry out to him, to run to him, but the next moment he was gone, swallowed up by the crowd.


	5. Four

Tears of frustration welled in my eyes as Ivan dragged me out of the tent and into the late-afternoon sun. He pulled me down a low hill to the road where the Darkling’s black coach was already waiting, surrounded by a ring of mounted Grisha Etherealki and flanked by lines of armed cavalry. Two of the Darkling’s gray-clad guards waited by the door to the coach with a woman and a fair-haired man, both of whom wore Corporalki red.“Get in,” commanded Ivan. Then, seeming to remember the Darkling’s order, he added, “if you please.” “No,” I said. “What?” Ivan seemed genuinely surprised. The other Corporalki looked shocked.

“No!” I repeated. “I’m not going anywhere. There’s been some kind of mistake. I—”

Ivan cut me off, taking a firmer grip on my arm. “The Darkling doesn’t make mistakes,” he said through gritted teeth. “Get in the coach.” “I don’t want—” Ivan lowered his head until his nose was just inches from mine and practically spat, “Do you think I care what you want? In a few hours’ time, every Fjerdan spy and Shu Han assassin will know what happened on the Fold, and they’ll be coming for you. Our only chance is to get you to Os Alta and behind the palace walls before anyone else realizes what you are. Now, get in the coach.” He shoved me through the door and followed me inside, throwing himself down on the seat opposite me in disgust. The other Corporalki joined him, followed by the oprichniki guards, who settled on either side of me.

“So I’m the Darkling’s prisoner?” “You’re under his protection.” “What’s the difference?” Ivan’s expression was unreadable. “Pray you never find out.” I scowled and slumped back on the cushioned seat, then hissed in pain. I’d forgotten my wounds. “See to her,” Ivan said to the female Corporalnik. Her cuffs were embroidered in Healer’s gray. The woman switched places with one of the oprichniki so that she could sit beside me. A soldier ducked his head inside the door. “We’re ready,” he said. “Good,” replied Ivan. “Stay alert and keep moving.” “We’ll only stop to change horses. If we stop before then, you’ll know something is wrong.” The soldier disappeared, closing the door behind him. The driver didn’t hesitate. With a cry and the snap of a whip, the coach lurched forward. I felt an icy tumble of panic. What was happening to me? I thought about just throwing open the coach door and making a run for it. But where would I run? We were surrounded by armed men in the middle of a military camp. And even if we weren’t, where could I possibly go?

“Please remove your coat,” said the woman beside me. “What?” “I need to see to your wounds.” I considered refusing, but what was the point? I shrugged awkwardly out of my coat and let the Healer ease my shirt over my shoulders. The Corporalki were the Order of the Living and the Dead. I tried to focus on the living part, but I’d never been healed by a Grisha and every muscle in my body tensed with fear. She took something out of a little satchel and a sharp chemical scent filled the coach. I flinched as she cleaned the wounds, my fingers digging into my knees. When she was done, I felt a hot, prickling sensation between my shoulders. I bit down hard on my lip. The urge to scratch my back was almost unbearable. Finally, she stopped and pulled my shirt back into place. I flexed my shoulders carefully. The pain was gone.

“Now the arm,” she said. I’d almost forgotten the cut from the Darkling’s knife, but my wrist and hand were sticky with blood. She wiped the cut clean and then held my arm up to the light. “Try to stay still,” she said, “or there will be a scar.” I did my best, but the jostling of the coach made it difficult. The Healer passed her hand slowly over the wound. I felt my skin throb with heat. My arm began to itch furiously and, as I watched in amazement, my flesh seemed to shimmer and move as the two sides of the cut knit together and the skin sealed shut. The itching stopped and the Healer sat back. I reached out and touched my arm. There was a slightly raised scar where the cut had been, but that was all. “Thank you,” I said in awe. The Healer nodded. “Give her your kefta,” Ivan said to her. The woman frowned but hesitated only a moment before she shrugged out of her red kefta and handed it to me. “Why do I need this?” I asked. “Just take it,” Ivan growled.

I took the kefta from the Healer. She kept her face blank, but I could tell it pained her to part with it. Before I could decide whether or not to offer her my bloodstained coat, Ivan tapped the roof and the coach began to slow. The Healer didn’t even wait for it to stop moving before she opened the door and swung outside. Ivan pulled the door shut. The oprichnik slipped back into the seat beside me, and we were on our way once more. “Where is she going?” I asked. “Back to Kribirsk,” replied Ivan. “We’ll travel faster with less weight.” “You look heavier than she does,” I muttered. “Put on the kefta,” he said. “Why?” “Because it’s made with Materialki corecloth. It can withstand rifle fire.” I stared at him. Was that even possible? There were stories of Grisha withstanding direct gunshots and surviving what should have been fatal wounds. I’d never taken them seriously, but maybe Fabrikator handiwork was the truth behind those peasant tales.

“Do you all wear this stuff?” I asked as I pulled on the kefta. “When we’re in the field,” said an oprichnik. I nearly jumped. It was the first time either of the guards had spoken. “Just don’t get shot in the head,” Ivan added with a condescending grin. I ignored him. The kefta was far too large. It felt soft and unfamiliar, the fur lining warm against my skin. I chewed my lip. It didn’t seem fair that oprichniki and Grisha wore corecloth while ordinary soldiers went without. Did our officers wear it, too? The coach picked up speed. In the time it had taken for the Healer to do her work, dusk had begun to fall and we had left Kribirsk behind. I leaned forward, straining to see out the window, but the world outside was a twilight blur. I felt tears threatening again and blinked them back. A few hours ago, I’d been a frightened girl on my way into the unknown, but at least I’d known who and what I was. With a pang, I thought of the Documents Tent. The other surveyors might be at their work right now. Would they be mourning Alexei? Would they be talking about me and what had happened on the Fold?

I clutched the crumpled army-issue coat I had bundled up on my lap. Surely this all had to be a dream, some crazy hallucination brought on by the terrors of the Shadow Fold. I couldn’t really be wearing a Grisha’s kefta, sitting in the Darkling’s coach—the same coach that had almost crushed me only yesterday. Someone lit a lamp inside the coach, and in the flickering light I could better see the silken interior. The seats were heavily cushioned black velvet. On the windows, the Darkling’s symbol had been cut into the glass: two overlapping circles, the sun in eclipse. Across from me, the two Grisha were studying me with open curiosity. Their red kefta were of the finest wool, embroidered lavishly in black and lined in black fur. The fair-haired Heartrender was lanky and had a long, melancholy face. Ivan was taller, broader, with wavy brown hair and sun-bronzed skin. Now that I bothered to look, I had to admit he was handsome. And knows it, too. A big handsome bully.

I shifted restlessly in my seat, uncomfortable with their stares. I looked out the window, but there was nothing to see except the growing darkness and my own pale reflection. I looked back at the Grisha and tried to quash my irritation. They were still gawking at me. I reminded myself that these men could make my heart explode in my chest, but eventually I just couldn’t stand it. “I don’t do tricks, you know,” I snapped. The Grisha exchanged a glance. “That was a pretty good trick back in the tent,” Ivan said. I rolled my eyes. “Well, if I plan on doing anything exciting, I promise to give fair warning so just … take a nap or something.” Ivan looked affronted. I felt a little snap of fear, but the fair-haired Corporalnik let out a bark of laughter.

“I am Fedyor,” he said. “And this is Ivan.” “I know,” I replied. Then, picturing Ana Kuya’s disapproving glare, I added, “Very pleased to meet you.” They exchanged an amused glance. I ignored them and wriggled back in my seat, trying to get comfortable. It wasn’t easy with two heavily armed soldiers taking up most of the room. The coach hit a bump and jolted forward. “Is it safe?” I asked. “To be traveling at night?” “No,” Fedyor said. “But it would be considerably more dangerous to stop.” “Because people are after me now?” I said sarcastically. “If not now, then soon.” I snorted. Fedyor raised his eyebrows and said, “For hundreds of years, the Shadow Fold has been doing our enemies’ work, closing off our ports, choking us, making us weak. If you’re truly a Sun Summoner, then your power could be the key to opening up the Fold—or maybe even destroying it. Fjerda and the Shu Han won’t just stand by and let that happen.”

I gaped at him. What did these people expect from me? And what would they do to me when they realized I couldn’t deliver? “This is ridiculous,” I muttered. Fedyor looked me up and down and then smiled slightly. “Maybe,” he said. I frowned. He was agreeing with me, but I still felt insulted. “How did you hide it?” Ivan asked abruptly. “What?” “Your power,” Ivan said impatiently. “How did you hide it?” “I didn’t hide it. I didn’t know it was there.” “That’s impossible.” “And yet here we are,” I said bitterly. “Weren’t you tested?” A dim memory flashed through my mind: three cloaked figures in the sitting room at Keramzin, a woman’s haughty brow. “Of course I was tested.” “When?” “When I was eight.” “That’s very late,” commented Ivan. “Why didn’t your parents have you tested earlier?” Because they were dead, I thought but didn’t say. And no one paid much attention to Duke Keramsov’s orphans. I shrugged. “It doesn’t make any sense,” Ivan grumbled.

“That’s what I’ve been trying to tell you!” I leaned forward, looking desperately from Ivan to Fedyor. “I’m not what you think I am. I’m not Grisha. What happened in the Fold … I don’t know what happened, but I didn’t do it.” “And what happened in the Grisha tent?” asked Fedyor calmly. “I can’t explain that. But it wasn’t my doing. The Darkling did something when he touched me.” Ivan laughed. “He didn’t do anything. He’s an amplifier.” “A what?” Fedyor and Ivan exchanged another glance. “Forget it,” I snapped. “I don’t care.” Ivan reached inside his collar and removed something on a thin silver chain. He held it out for me to examine.My curiosity got the best of me, and I edged forward to get a better view. It looked like a cluster of sharp black claws.

“What are they?” “My amplifier,” Ivan said with pride. “The claws from the forepaw of a Sherborn bear. I killed it myself when I left school and joined the Darkling’s service.” He leaned back in his seat and tucked the chain into his collar. “An amplifier increases a Grisha’s power,” said Fedyor. “But the power must be there to begin with.” “Do all Grisha have them?” I asked. Fedyor stiffened. “No,” he said. “Amplifiers are rare and hard to obtain.” “Only the Darkling’s most favored Grisha have them,” Ivan said smugly. I was sorry I’d asked. “The Darkling is a living amplifier,” Fedyor said. “That’s what you felt.” “Like the claws? That’s his power?” “One of his powers,” corrected Ivan.

I pulled the kefta tighter around me, feeling suddenly cold. I remembered the surety that had flooded through me with the Darkling’s touch, and that strangely familiar sensation of a call echoing through me, a call that demanded an answer. It had been frightening, but exhilarating, too. In that moment, all my doubt and fear had been replaced by a kind of absolute certainty. I was no one, a refugee from an unnamed village, a scrawny, clumsy girl hurtling alone through the gathering dark. But when the Darkling had closed his fingers around my wrist, I’d felt different, like something more. I shut my eyes and tried to focus, tried to remember that feeling of certainty, to bring that sure and perfect power into blazing life. But nothing happened. I sighed and opened my eyes. Ivan looked highly amused. The urge to kick him was almost overwhelming.

“You’re all in for a big disappointment,” I muttered. “For your sake, I hope you’re wrong,” said Ivan. “For all our sakes,” said Fedyor. I lost track of time. Night and day passed through the windows of the coach. I spent most of my time staring out at the landscape brown locks falling into my face, searching for landmarks to give me some sense of the familiar. I’d expected that we would take side roads, but instead we stuck to the Vy, and Fedyor explained that the Darkling had opted for speed over stealth. He was hoping to get me safe behind Os Alta’s double walls before rumor of my power spread to the enemy spies and assassins who operated within Ravka’s borders.

We kept a brutal pace. Occasionally, we stopped to change horses and I was allowed to stretch my legs. When I was able to sleep, my dreams were plagued by monsters. Once, I awoke with a start, my heart pounding, to find Fedyor watching me. Ivan was asleep beside him, snoring loudly. “Who’s Mal?” he asked. I realized I must have been talking in my sleep. Embarrassed, I glanced at the oprichniki guards flanking me. One stared impassively forward. The other was dozing. Outside, the afternoon sun shone through a grove of birchwood trees as we rumbled past. “No one,” I said. “A friend.” “The tracker?” I nodded. “He was with me on the Shadow Fold. He saved my life.” “And you saved his.” I opened my mouth to disagree, but stopped. Had I saved Mal’s life? The thought brought me up short. I hadn’t saved Alina though. She was gone, I was sure of it. My heart ached for the loss of my best friend and sister.

“It’s a great honor,” said Fedyor. “To save a life. You saved many.” “Not enough,” I murmured, thinking of the terrified look on Alexei’s face as he was pulled into the darkness. If I had this power, why hadn’t I been able to save him? Or any of the others who had perished on the Fold? I looked at Fedyor. “If you really believe that saving a life is an honor, then why not become a Healer instead of a Heartrender?” Fedyor considered the passing scenery. “Of all Grisha, Corporalki have the hardest road. We require the most training and the most study. At the end of it all, I felt I could save more lives as a Heartrender.”

“As a killer?” I asked in surprise. “As a soldier,” Fedyor corrected. He shrugged. “To kill or to cure?” he said with a sad smile. “We each have our own gifts.” Abruptly, his expression changed. He sat up straight and jabbed Ivan in the side. “Wake up!”

The coach had stopped. I looked around in confusion. “Are we—,” I began, but the guard beside me clapped a hand over my mouth and put a finger to his lips. The coach door flew open and a soldier ducked his head in. “There’s a fallen tree across the road,” he said. “But it could be a trap. Be alert and—” He never finished his sentence. A shot rang out and he fell forward, a bullet in his back. Suddenly, the air was full of panicked cries and the teeth-rattling sound of rifle fire as a volley of bullets struck the coach. “Get down!” yelled the guard beside me, shielding my body with his own as Ivan kicked the dead soldier out of the way and pulled the door closed. “Fjerdans,” said the guard, peering outside. Ivan turned to Fedyor and the guard beside me. “Fedyor, go with him. You take this side. We’ll take the other. At all costs, defend the coach.” Fedyor pulled a large knife from his belt and handed it to me. “Stay close to the floor and stay quiet.”

The Grisha waited with the guards, crouching by the windows, then at a signal from Ivan they leapt from either side of the coach, slamming the doors behind them. I huddled on the floor, clutching the knife’s heavy hilt, my knees to my chest, my back pressed against the base of the seat. Outside, I could hear the sounds of fighting, metal on metal, grunts and shouts, horses whinnying. The coach shook as a body slammed against the glass of the window. I saw with horror that it was one of my guards. His body left a red smear against the glass as he slid from view. The coach door flew open and a man with a wild, yellow-bearded face appeared. I scrambled to the other side of the coach, the knife held out before me. He barked something to his compatriots in his strange Fjerdan tongue and reached for my leg. As I kicked out at him, the door behind me opened and I nearly tumbled into another bearded man. He grabbed me under the arms, pulling me roughly from the coach as I howled and slashed out with the knife.

 

I must have made contact, because he cursed and loosened his grip on me. I struggled to my feet and ran. We were in a wooded glen where the Vy narrowed to pass between two sloping hills. All around me, soldiers and Grisha were fighting with bearded men. Trees burst into flames, caught in the line of Grisha fire. My hair flew out in chocolate waves behind me as I ran. I saw Fedyor throw his hand out, and the man before him crumpled to the ground, clutching his chest, blood trickling from his mouth. I ran without direction, clambering up the nearest hill, my feet slipping on the fallen leaves that covered the forest floor, my breath coming in gasps. I made it halfway up the slope before I was tackled from behind. I fell forward, the knife flying from my hands as I put my arms out to break my fall. I twisted and kicked as the yellow-bearded man grabbed hold of my legs. I never thought I would curse my five foot stature this much in my life. If only I was a tad bit taller. I looked desperately down to the glen, but the soldiers and Grisha below me were fighting for their lives, clearly outnumbered and unable to come to my aid. I struggled and thrashed, but the Fjerdan was too strong. He climbed on top of me, using his knees to pin my arms to my sides, and reached for his knife.

“I’ll gut you right here, witch,” he snarled in a heavy Fjerdan accent. At that moment, I heard the pounding of hooves and my attacker turned his head to look down at the road. A group of riders roared into the glen, their kefta streaming red and blue, their hands blazing fire and thunder. The lead rider was dressed in black. The Darkling slid from his mount and threw his hands wide, then brought them together with a resounding boom. Skeins of darkness shot from his clasped hands, snaking through the glen, finding the Fjerdan assassins, then slithering up their bodies to swathe their faces in seething shadow. They screamed. Some dropped their swords; others waved them blindly. I watched in mingled awe and horror as the Ravkan fighters seized the advantage, cutting down the blinded, helpless men with ease.

The bearded man on top of me muttered something I did not understand. I thought it might be a prayer. He was staring, frozen, at the Darkling, his terror palpable. I took my chance. “I’m here!” I called down the hillside. The Darkling’s head turned. He raised his hands. “Nej!” bleated the Fjerdan, his knife held high. “I don’t need to see to put my knife through her heart!” I held my breath. Silence fell in the glen, broken only by the moans of dying men. The Darkling dropped his hands. “You must realize that you’re surrounded,” he said calmly, his voice carrying through the trees. The assassin’s gaze darted right and left, then up to the crest of the hill where Ravkan soldiers were emerging, rifles at the ready. As the Fjerdan looked around frantically, the Darkling edged a few steps up the slope. “No closer!” the man shrieked.The Darkling stopped. “Give her to me,” he said, “and I’ll let you scurry back to your king.”

The assassin gave a crazed little giggle. “Oh no, oh no. I don’t think so,” he said, shaking his head, his knife held high above my pounding heart, its cruel point gleaming in the sun. “The Darkling doesn’t spare lives.” He looked down at me. His lashes were light blond, almost invisible. “He will not have you,” he crooned softly. “He will not have the witch. He will not have this power, too.” He raised the knife higher and yowled, “Skirden Fjerda!” The knife plunged down in a shining arc. I turned my head, squeezing my eyes shut in terror, and as I did, I glimpsed the Darkling, his arm slashing through the air in front of him. I heard another crack like thunder and then … nothing. Slowly, I opened my eyes and took in the horror before me. I opened my mouth to scream, but no sound would come. The man on top of me had been cut in two. His head, his right shoulder, and his arm lay on the forest floor, his white hand still clasping the knife. The rest of him swayed for a moment above me, a dark wisp of smoke fading in the air beside the wound that ran the length of his severed torso. Then what remained of him fell forward.

I found my voice and screamed. Bloodcurdling and loud in the silence of the wood. I crawled backward, scrambling away from the mutilated body, unable to get to my feet, unable to look away from the awful sight, my body shaking uncontrollably. The Darkling hurried up the hill and knelt beside me, blocking my view of the corpse. “Look at me,” he instructed. I tried to focus on his face, but all I could see was the assassin’s severed body, his blood pooling in the damp leaves. “What … what did you do to him?” I asked, my voice quavering. “What I had to do. Can you stand?” I nodded shakily. He took my hands and helped me to my feet. When my gaze slid back to the corpse, he took hold of my chin and drew my eyes back to his. “At me,” he commanded. I nodded and tried to keep my eyes trained on the Darkling as he led me down the hill and called out orders to his men. “Clear the road. I need twenty riders.”

“The girl?” Ivan asked. “Rides with me,” said the Darkling. He left me by his horse as he went to confer with Ivan and his captains. I was relieved to see Fedyor with them, clutching his arm but looking otherwise uninjured. I patted the horse’s sweaty flank and breathed in the clean leather smell of the saddle, trying to slow the beating of my heart and to ignore what I knew lay behind me on the hillside. A few minutes later, I saw soldiers and Grisha mounting their horses. Several men had finished clearing the tree from the road, and others were riding out with the much-battered coach. “A decoy,” said the Darkling, coming up beside me. “We’ll take the southern trails. It’s what we should have done in the first place.” “So you do make mistakes,” I said without thinking. He paused in the act of pulling on his gloves, and I pressed my lips together nervously. “I didn’t mean—” “Of course I make mistakes,” he said. His mouth curved into a half smile. “Just not often.” He raised his hood and offered me his hand to help me onto the horse. For a moment, I hesitated. He stood before me, a dark rider, cloaked in black, his features in shadow. The image of the severed man loomed up in my mind, and my stomach turned. As if he’d read my thoughts, he repeated, “I did what I had to, Allessa.”

  
I knew that. He had saved my life. And what other choice did I have? I put my hand in his and let the Darkling help me into the saddle. He slid up behind me and kicked the horse into a trot. As we left the glen, I felt the reality of what had just happened sink into me. “You’re shaking,” he said. “I’m not used to people trying to kill me.” “Really? I hardly notice anymore.” I turned to look at him. That trace of a smile was still there, but I wasn’t entirely sure he was kidding. I turned back around and said, “And I did just see a man get sliced in half.” I kept my voice light, but I couldn’t hide the fact that I was still trembling. The Darkling switched his reins to one hand and pulled off one of his gloves. I stiffened as I felt him slide his bare palm under my hair and rest it on the nape of my neck. My surprise gave way to calm as that same sense of power and surety flooded through me. With one hand cupping my head, he kicked the horse into a canter. I closed my eyes and tried not to think, and soon, despite the movement of the horse, despite the terrors of the day, I fell into a troubled sleep.


	6. Five

The next few days passed in a blur of discomfort and exhaustion. We stayed off of the Vy and kept to side roads and narrow hunting trails, moving as quickly as the hilly and sometimes treacherous terrain would allow. I lost all sense of where we were or how far we had gone. After the first day, the Darkling and I had ridden separately, but I found that I was always aware of where he was in the column of riders. He didn’t say a word to me, and as the hours and days wore on, I started to worry that I’d somehow offended him. (Though, given how little we’d spoken, I wasn’t sure how I could have managed it.) Occasionally, I caught him looking at me, his eyes cool and unreadable.

I’d never been a particularly good rider, and the pace the Darkling set was taking its toll. No matter which way I shifted in my saddle, some part of my body ached. I stared listlessly at my horse’s twitching ears and tried not to think of my burning legs or the throbbing in my lower back. On the fifth night, when we stopped to make camp at an abandoned farm, I wanted to leap from my horse in joy. But I was so stiff that I settled for sliding awkwardly to the ground. I thanked the soldier who saw to my mount and waddled slowly down a small hill to where I could hear the soft gurgle of a stream. I knelt by the bank on shaky legs and washed my face and hands in the cold water. The air had changed over the last couple of days, and the bright blue skies of autumn were giving way to sullen gray. The soldiers seemed to think that we would reach Os Alta before any real weather came on. And then what? What would happen to me when we reached the Little Palace? What would happen when I couldn’t do what they wanted me to do? It wasn’t wise to disappoint kings. Or Darklings. I doubted they’d just send me back to the regiment with a pat on the back. I wondered if Mal was still in Kribirsk. If his wounds had healed, he might already have been sent back across the Fold or on to some other assignment. I thought of his face disappearing into the crowd in the Grisha tent. I hadn’t even had a chance to say goodbye.

In the gathering dusk, I stretched my arms and back and tried to shake the feeling of gloom that had settled over me. It’s probably for the best, I told myself. How would I have said goodbye to Mal anyway? Thanks for being my best friend and making my life bearable. Oh, and sorry I fell in love with you for a while there. Make sure to write! “What are you smiling at?” I whirled, peering into the gloom. The Darkling’s voice seemed to float out of the shadows. He walked down to the stream, crouching on the bank to splash water on his face and through his dark hair. “Well?” he asked, looking up at me. “Myself,” I admitted. “Are you that funny?”

“I’m hilarious.” The Darkling regarded me in what remained of the twilight. I had the disquieting sensation that I was being studied. Other than a bit of dust on his kefta, our trek seemed to have taken little toll on him. My skin prickled with embarrassment as I became keenly aware of my torn, too-large kefta, my dirty hair, and the bruise the Fjerdan assassin had left on my cheek. Was he looking at me and regretting his decision to drag me all this way? Was he thinking that he’d made another of his infrequent mistakes? “I’m not Grisha,” I blurted. “The evidence suggests otherwise,” he said with little concern. “What makes you so certain?” “Look at me!” “I’m looking.” “Do I look like a Grisha to you?” Grisha were beautiful. They didn’t have spotty skin and dull brown hair and scrawny arms.

He shook his head and rose. “You don’t understand at all,” he said, and began walking back up the hill. “Are you going to explain it to me?”

“Not right now, no.” I was so furious I wanted to smack him on the back of his head. And if I hadn’t seen him cut a man in half, I might have done just that. I settled for glaring at the space between his shoulder blades as I followed him up the hill. Inside the farm’s broken-down barn, the Darkling’s men had cleared a space on the earthen floor and built a fire. One of them had caught and killed a grouse and was roasting it over the flames. It made a poor meal shared among all of us, but the Darkling did not want to send his men ranging into the woods for game.

I took a place by the fire and ate my small portion in silence. When I’d finished, I hesitated for only a moment before wiping my fingers on my already filthy kefta. It was probably the nicest thing I’d ever worn or would wear, and something about seeing the fabric stained and torn made me feel particularly low. In the light from the fire, I watched the oprichniki sitting side by side with the Grisha. Some of them had already drifted away from the fire to bed down for the night. Others had been posted to the first watch. The rest sat talking as the flames ebbed, passing a flask back and forth. The Darkling sat with them. I’d noticed that he had taken no more than his share of the grouse. And now he sat beside his soldiers on the cold ground, a man second in power only to the King.

He must have felt my gaze, because he turned to look at me, his granite eyes glimmering in the firelight. I flushed. To my dismay, he rose and came to sit beside me, offering me the flask. I hesitated and then took a sip, grimacing at the taste. I’d never liked kvas, but the teachers at Keramzin had drunk it like water. Mal and I had stolen a bottle once. The beating we’d taken when we were caught had been nothing compared to how miserably sick we’d been. Still, it burned going down, and the warmth was welcome. I took another sip and handed the flask back to him. “Thank you,” I said with a little cough. He drank, staring into the fire, and then said, “All right. Ask me.” I blinked at him, taken aback. I wasn’t sure where to begin. My tired mind had been brimming with questions, whirring in a state between panic and exhaustion and disbelief since we’d left Kribirsk. I wasn’t sure that I had the energy to form a thought, and when I opened my mouth, the question that came out surprised me. “How old are you?”

He glanced at me, bemused. “I don’t know exactly.”“How can you not know?” The Darkling shrugged. “How old are you exactly?” I flashed him a sour look. I didn’t know the date of my birth. All the orphans at Keramzin were given the Duke’s birthday in honor of our benefactor. “Well, then, roughly how old are you?” “Why do you want to know?” “Because I’ve heard stories about you since I was a child, but you don’t look much older than I am,” I said honestly. “What kind of stories?” “The usual kind,” I said with some annoyance. “If you don’t want to answer me, just say so.” “I don’t want to answer you.” “Oh.” Then he sighed and said, “One hundred and twenty. Give or take.” “What?” I squeaked. The soldiers sitting across from me glanced over. “That’s impossible,” I said more quietly. He looked into the flames. “When a fire burns, it uses up the wood. It devours it, leaving only ash. Grisha power doesn’t work that way.”

“How does it work?” “Using our power makes us stronger. It feeds us instead of consuming us. Most Grisha live long lives.” “But not one hundred and twenty years.” “No,” he admitted. “The length of a Grisha’s life is proportional to his or her power. The greater the power, the longer the life. And when that power is amplified …” He trailed off with a shrug. “And you’re a living amplifier. Like Ivan’s bear.” The hint of a smile tugged at the corner of his mouth. “Like Ivan’s bear.” An unpleasant thought occurred to me. “But that means—” “That my bones or a few of my teeth would make another Grisha very powerful.” “Well, that’s completely creepy. Doesn’t that worry you a little bit?” “No,” he said simply. “Now you answer my question. What kind of stories were you told about me?” I shifted uncomfortably. “Well … our teachers told us that you strengthened the Second Army by gathering Grisha from outside of Ravka.” “I didn’t have to gather them. They came to me. Other countries don’t treat their Grisha so well as Ravka,” he said grimly. “The Fjerdans burn us as witches, and the Kerch sell us as slaves. The Shu Han carve us up seeking the source of our power. What else?”

“They said you were the strongest Darkling in generations.”

“I didn’t ask you for flattery.” I fingered a loose thread on the cuff of my kefta. He watched me, waiting. “Well,” I said, “there was an old serf who worked on the estate …” “Go on,” he said. “Tell me.” “He … he said that Darklings are born without souls. That only something truly evil could have created the Shadow Fold.” I glanced at his cold face and added hastily, “But Ana Kuya sent him packing and told us it was all peasant superstition.” The Darkling sighed. “I doubt that serf is the only one who believes that.” I said nothing. Not everyone thought like Eva or the old serf, but I’d been in the First Army long enough to know that most ordinary soldiers didn’t trust Grisha and felt no allegiance to the Darkling.

After a moment, the Darkling said, “My great-great-great-grandfather was the Black Heretic, the Darkling who created the Shadow Fold. It was a mistake, an experiment born of his greed, maybe his evil. I don’t know. But every Darkling since then has tried to undo the damage he did to our country, and I’m no different.” He turned to me then, his expression serious, the firelight playing over the perfect planes of his features. “I’ve spent my life searching for a way to make things right. You’re the first glimmer of hope I’ve had in a long time.”

“Me?” “The world is changing, Allessa. Muskets and rifles are just the beginning. I’ve seen the weapons they’re developing in Kerch and Fjerda. The age of Grisha power is coming to an end.” It was a terrifying thought. “But … but what about the First Army? They have rifles. They have weapons.” “Where do you think their rifles come from? Their ammunition? Every time we cross the Fold, we lose lives. A divided Ravka won’t survive the new age. We need our ports. We need our harbors. And only you can give them back to us.”

“How?” I pleaded. “How am I supposed to do that?” “By helping me destroy the Shadow Fold.” I shook my head. “You’re crazy. This is all crazy.”

I looked up through the broken beams of the barn’s roof to the night sky. It was full of stars, but I could only see the endless reaches of darkness between them. I imagined myself standing in the dead silence of the Shadow Fold, blind, frightened, with nothing to protect me but my supposed power. I thought of the Black Heretic. He had created the Fold, a Darkling, just like the one who sat watching me so closely in the firelight. “What about that thing you did?” I asked before I could lose my nerve. “To the Fjerdan?” He looked back into the fire. “It’s called the Cut. It requires great power and great focus; it’s something few Grisha can do.” I rubbed my arms, trying to stave off the chill that had taken hold of me.

 

He glanced at me and then back to the fire. “If I had cut him down with a sword, would that make it any better?” Would it? I had seen countless horrors in the last few days. But even after the nightmares of the Fold, the image that stayed with me, that reared up in my dreams and chased me into waking, was of the bearded man’s severed body, swaying in the dappled sunlight before it toppled onto me. “I don’t know,” I said quietly. Something flashed across his face, something that looked like anger or maybe even pain. Without another word, he rose and walked away from me. I watched him disappear into the darkness and felt suddenly guilty. Don’t be a fool, I chastised myself. He’s the Darkling. He’s the second most powerful man in Ravka. He’s one hundred and twenty years old! You didn’t hurt his feelings. But I thought of the look that had flickered over his features, the shame in his voice when he’d talked about the Black Heretic, and I couldn’t shake the feeling that I had failed some kind of test.

Two days later, just after dawn, we passed through a massive gate and the famous double walls of Os Alta.My brown hair had grown especially limp due to my heavy stress. Something I’d discovered it did when Alina, I choked slightly at the thought of her, had pretended to hate me. Mal and I had taken our training not far from here, in the military stronghold at Poliznaya, but we had never been inside the city itself. Os Alta was reserved for the very wealthy, for the homes of military and government officials, their families, their mistresses, and all the businesses that catered to them. I felt a twinge of disappointment as we passed shuttered shops, a wide marketplace where a few vendors were already setting up their stalls, and crowded rows of narrow houses. Os Alta was called the dream city. It was the capital of Ravka, home to the Grisha and the King’s Grand Palace. But if anything, it just looked like a bigger, dirtier version of the market town at Keramzin.

All that changed when we reached the bridge. It spanned a wide canal where little boats bobbed in the water beneath it. And on the other side, rising from the mist, white and gleaming, lay the other Os Alta. As we crossed the bridge, I saw that it could be raised to turn the canal into a giant moat that would separate the dream city before us from the common mess of the market town that lay behind. When we reached the other side of the canal, it was as if we had passed into another world. Everywhere I looked, I saw fountains and plazas, verdant parks, and broad boulevards lined with perfect rows of trees. Here and there, I saw lights on in the lower stories of the grand houses, where kitchen fires were being lit and the day’s work was starting.

The streets began to slope upward, and as we climbed higher, the houses became larger and more imposing, until finally we arrived at another wall and another set of gates, these wrought in gleaming gold and emblazoned with the King’s double eagle. Along the wall, I could see heavily armed men at their posts, a grim reminder that for all its beauty, Os Alta was still the capital of a country that had long been at war. The gate swung open. We rode up a broad path paved in glittering gravel and bordered by rows of elegant trees. To the left and right, stretching into the distance, I saw manicured gardens, rich with green and hazy in the mist of early morning. Above it all, atop a series of marble terraces and golden fountains, loomed the Grand Palace, the Ravkan King’s winter home.

When we finally reached the huge double-eagle fountain at its base, the Darkling brought his horse up beside mine. “So what do you think of it?” he asked. I glanced at him, then back at the elaborate facade. It was larger than any building I had ever seen, its terraces crowded with statues, its three stories gleaming with row after row of shining windows, each ornamented extensively in what I suspected was real gold. “It’s very … grand?” I said carefully. He looked at me, a little smile playing on his lips. “I think it’s the ugliest building I’ve ever seen,” he said, and nudged his horse forward.

We followed a path that curved behind the palace and deeper into the grounds, passing a hedge maze, a rolling lawn with a columned temple at its center, and a vast greenhouse, its windows clouded with condensation. Then we entered a thick stand of trees, large enough that it felt like a small wood, and passed through a long, dark corridor where the branches made a dense, braided roof above us. The hair rose on my arms. I had the same feeling that I’d had as we were crossing the canal, that sense of crossing the boundary between two worlds. When we emerged from the tunnel into weak sunshine, I looked down a gentle slope and saw a building like nothing I’d ever seen. “Welcome to the Little Palace,” said the Darkling. It was a strange name, because though it was smaller than the Grand Palace, the “Little” Palace was still huge. It rose from the trees surrounding it like something carved from an enchanted forest, a cluster of dark wood walls and golden domes. As we drew closer, I saw that every inch of it was covered in intricate carvings of birds and flowers, twisting vines, and magical beasts.

 

A charcoal-clad group of servants waited on the steps. I dismounted, and one of them rushed forward to take my horse, while others pushed open a large set of double doors. As we passed through them, I couldn’t resist the urge to reach out and touch the exquisite carvings. They had been inlaid with mother-of-pearl so that they sparkled in the early-morning light. How many hands, how many years had it taken to create such a place? We passed through an entry chamber and then into a vast hexagonal room with four long tables arranged in a square at its center. Our footsteps echoed off the stone floor, and a massive gold dome seemed to float above us at an impossible height. The Darkling took aside one of the servants, an older woman in a charcoal dress, and spoke to her in hushed tones. Then he gave me a small bow and strode off across the hall, followed by his men. I felt a surge of annoyance. The Darkling had said little to me since that night in the barn, and he’d given me no idea what I might expect once we arrived. But I didn’t have the nerve or the energy to run after him, so I meekly followed the woman in gray through another pair of double doors and into one of the smaller towers.

When I saw all the stairs, I almost broke down and wept. Maybe I’ll just ask if I can stay down here in the middle of the hall, I thought miserably. Instead, I put my hand on the carved banister and dragged myself upward, my stiff body protesting every step. When we reached the top, I felt like celebrating by lying down and taking a nap, but the servant was already moving down the hallway. We passed door after door, until finally we reached a chamber where another uniformed maid stood waiting by an open doorway. Dimly, I registered a large room, heavy golden curtains, a fire burning in a beautifully tiled grate, but all I really cared about was the huge canopied bed. “Can I get you anything? Something to eat?” asked the woman. I shook my head. I just wanted sleep.

“Very good,” she said, and nodded to the maid, who curtsied and disappeared down the hall. “Then I’ll let you rest. Make sure to lock your door.” I blinked.

“As a precaution,” said the woman and left, closing the door gently behind her.

A precaution against what? I wondered. But I was too tired to think about it. I locked the door, peeled off the kefta and my boots, and fell into bed.

I thought of Mal and Alina, of the orphanage, of the Darkling. He was handsome in his own way. Black hair falling into his face and almost to his shoulders. Striking grey eyes. His full red lips, and always furrowed brow. He looked young and burdened. I felt almost reborn when I was near him. I sigh and turn to my side closing my eyes. Oh well. Better not to think about him, less he come unbidden.


	7. Six

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, I have decided that where Alina's character protested against belonging to the Darkling, I will not. For some reason I just want to change it up so I do not have a carbon copy of the original book. I'm going to start to incorporate my own minor details. See if you can spot the changes. :)

I dreamed that I was back in Keramzin, slipping through the darkened hallways on stockinged feet, trying to find Mal. Alina walked next to me, seemingly unafraid. I could hear him calling to me, but his voice never seemed to get any closer. Finally, I reached the top floor and the door to the old blue bedroom where we liked to sit in the window seat and look out at our meadow. I heard Mal laughing. I threw open the door … and screamed. There was blood everywhere. The volcra was perched on the window seat and, as it turned on me and opened its horrible jaws, I saw that it had gray quartz eyes. I bolted awake, my heart thudding in my chest, and looked around in terror. For a moment I couldn’t remember where I was. Then I groaned and flopped back onto the pillows. I had just started to doze off again when someone began pounding on the door.“Go away,” I mumbled from beneath the covers. But the pounding only grew louder. I sat up, feeling my whole body shriek in rebellion. My head ached, and when I tried to stand, my legs did not want to cooperate. “All right!” I shouted. “I’m coming!” The knocking stopped. I stumbled over to the door and reached for the lock, but then I hesitated. “Who is it?”

“I don’t have time for this,” a female voice snapped from behind the door. “Open. Now!”

I shrugged. Let them kill me or kidnap me or whatever they wanted. As long as I didn’t have to ride a horse or climb stairs, I wouldn’t complain.

I had barely unlocked the door when it flew open and a tall girl pushed past me, surveying the room and then me with a critical eye. She was easily the most beautiful person I’d ever seen. Her wavy hair was deepest auburn, her irises large and golden; her skin was so smooth and flawless that she looked as if her perfect cheekbones had been carved from marble. She wore a cream-colored kefta embroidered in gold and lined in reddish fox fur.

“All Saints,” she said, looking me over. “Have you even bathed? And what happened to your face?”

I flushed bright red, my hand flying to the bruise on my cheek. It had been nearly a week since I’d left camp, and longer since I’d bathed or brushed my hair. I was covered in dirt and blood and the smell of horses. “I—”

But the girl was already shouting orders to the servants who had followed her into the room. “Draw a bath. A hot one. I’ll need my kit, and get her out of those clothes.”

The servants descended upon me, pulling at my buttons.“Hey!” I shouted, batting their hands away.The Grisha rolled her eyes. “Hold her down if you have to.” The servants redoubled their efforts. “Stop!” I shouted, backing away from them. They hesitated, looking from me to the girl. Honestly, nothing sounded better than a hot bath and a change of clothes, but I wasn’t about to let some tyrannical redhead push me around. “What is going on? Who are you?” “I don’t have ti—” “Make time!” I snapped. “I’ve covered almost two hundred miles on horseback. I haven’t had a good night’s sleep in a week, and I’ve nearly been killed twice. So before I do anything else, you’re going to have to tell me who you are and why it’s so very important that you get my clothes off.” The redhead took a deep breath and said slowly, as if she were speaking to a child, “My name is Genya. In less than an hour, you will be presented to the King and it is my job to make you look presentable.” My anger evaporated. I was going to meet the King? “Oh,” I said meekly. "Yes, ‘oh.’ So, shall we?” I nodded mutely, and Genya clapped her hands. The servants flew into action, yanking at my clothes and dragging me into the bathroom. Last night I’d been too tired to notice the room, but now, even shivering and scared witless at the prospect of having to meet a king, I marveled at the tiny bronze tiles that rippled over every surface and the sunken oval tub of beaten copper that the servants were filling with steaming water. Beside the tub, the wall was covered in a mosaic of shells and shimmering abalone. “In! In!” said one of the servants, giving me a nudge.

 

I climbed in. The water was painfully hot, but I endured it rather than try to ease in slowly. Military life had long ago cured me of most of my modesty, but there was something very different about being the only naked person in the room, especially when everyone kept shooting curious glances at me. I squeaked as one of the servants grabbed my head and began furiously washing my hair. Another leaned over the tub and started scrubbing at my nails. Once I adjusted to it, the heat of the water felt good on my aching body. I hadn’t had a hot bath in well over a year, and I had never even dreamed that there might be such a tub. Clearly, being Grisha had its benefits. I could have spent an hour just paddling around. But once I had been thoroughly dunked and scrubbed, a servant yanked my arm and ordered, “Out! Out!” Reluctantly, I climbed from the tub, letting the women dry me roughly with thick towels. One of the younger servants stepped forward with a heavy velvet robe and led me into the bedroom. Then she and the others backed out the door, leaving me alone with Genya. I watched the redhead warily. She had thrown open the curtains and pulled an elaborately carved wooden table and chair over by the windows. “Sit,” she commanded. I bridled at her tone, but I obeyed. A small trunk lay open by her hand, its contents spread out on the tabletop: squat glass jars full of what looked like berries, leaves, and colored powders. I didn’t have a chance to investigate further, because Genya took hold of my chin, peering closely at my face and turning my bruised cheek toward the light from the window. She took a breath and let her fingers travel over my skin. I felt the same prickling sensation I’d experienced when the Healer took care of my wounds from the Fold. Long minutes passed as I clenched my hands into fists to keep from scratching. Then Genya stepped back and the itching receded. She handed me a small golden hand mirror. The bruise was completely gone. I pressed the skin tentatively, but there was no soreness.“Thank you,” I said, setting the mirror down and starting to stand. But Genya pushed me right back down into the chair.“Where do you think you’re going? We’re not done.”“But—” “If the Darkling just wanted you healed, he would have sent a Healer.”“You’re not a Healer?” “I’m not wearing red, am I?” Genya retorted, an edge of bitterness to her voice. She gestured to herself. “I’m a Tailor.” I was baffled. I realized I’d never seen a Grisha in a white kefta. “You’re going to make me a dress?”

 

Genya blew out an exasperated breath. “Not the robes! This,” she said, waving her long, graceful fingers before her face. “You don’t think I was born looking like this, do you?”

I stared at the smooth marble perfection of Genya’s features as realization set in and, with it, a wave of indignation. “You want to change my face?”“Not change it. Just freshen you up a bit.” “Make me a gorgeous toy? Like you?” I scoff. She shrugged. “So I’m beautiful. That doesn’t mean much among Grisha. The Darkling doesn’t care what you look like, just what you can do.” “Then why did he send you?” “Because the King loves beauty and the Darkling knows that. In the King’s court, appearances are everything. If you’re to be the salvation of all of Ravka … well, it would be better if you looked the part.” I crossed my arms and looked out the window. Outside, the sun was shining off a small lake, a tiny island at its center. I had no idea what time it was or how long I’d slept. Genya walked over to me. “You’re not ugly, you know.” “Thanks,” I said drily, still staring out at the wooded grounds. “You just look a little …” “Tired? Sickly? Skinny?” “Well,” Genya said reasonably, “I’d say entirely too innocent to be presented to the King.”I sighed. “This is how I always look.” I rested my head on the cool glass, feeling the anger and embarrassment drain out of me. What was I fighting for? If I was honest with myself, the prospect of what Genya was offering was tempting. “Fine,” I said. “Do it.”“Thank you!” exclaimed Genya, clapping her hands together. I looked at her sharply, but there was no sarcasm in her voice or expression. She’s relieved, I realized. The Darkling had set Genya a task, and I wondered what might have happened to her if I’d refused. I let her lead me back to the chair.“Just don’t get carried away,” I said.“Don’t worry,” said the redhead. “You’ll still look like yourself, just more beautiful and less innocent. I’ll basically be bringing out your inner goddess.”“I can see that,” I said. I closed my eyes.“It’s okay,” she said. “You can watch.” She handed me the gold mirror. “But no more talk. And stay still.”I held up the mirror and watched as Genya’s cool fingertips descended slowly over my forehead. My skin prickled, and I watched with growing amazement as Genya’s hands traveled over my skin. Every blemish, every scrape, every flaw seemed to disappear beneath her fingers. She placed her thumbs beneath my eyes.“Oh!” I exclaimed in surprise as the dark circles that had plagued me since childhood disappeared.“Don’t get too excited,” Genya said. “It’s temporary.” She reached for one of the roses on the table and plucked a pale pink petal. She held it up to my cheek, and the color bled from the petal onto my skin, leaving what looked like a pretty flush. Then she held a fresh petal to my lips and repeated the process. “It only lasts a few days,” she informed me. “Now the hair.”She plucked a long comb made of bone from her trunk along with a glass jar full of something shiny.Stunned, I asked, “Is that real gold?” “Of course,” Genya said, lifting a chunk of my dull brown hair. She shook some of the gold leaf onto the crown of my head and, as she pulled the comb through my hair, the gold seemed to dissolve into shimmering strands. As Genya finished with each section, she wound it around her fingers, letting the hair fall in waves.

Finally she stepped back, wearing a smug smile. “Better, no?”I examined myself in the mirror. My hair shone. My cheeks held a rosy flush. I still wasn’t comletely cured of the innocent look, but I couldn’t deny the improvement. Now I looked as if the innocence was a trick of seduction. “Never knew I’d make a good blonde.” I muttered. I wondered what Mal would think if he saw me or Alina, then shoved the thought away. “Better, thanks.”Genya gave a plaintive sigh. “It’s really the best I can do for now.” “I look thousands of times better!”“Besides,” she said, “you don’t want to attract too much attention from the King.” Her voice was light, but I saw a shadow pass over her features as she strode across the room and opened the door to let the servants rush back in.They pushed me behind an ebony screen inlaid with mother-of-pearl stars so that it resembled a night sky. In a few moments, I was dressed in a clean tunic and trousers, soft leather boots, and a gray coat. With disappointment, I realized it was just a clean version of my army uniform. There was even a little cartographer’s patch showing a compass rose on the right sleeve. My feelings must have shown on my face.“Not what you expected?” Genya asked with some amusement.“I just thought …” But what had I thought? Did I really think I belonged in Grisha robes?“The King expects to see a humble girl plucked from the ranks of his army, an undiscovered treasure. If you appear in a kefta, he’ll think the Darkling’s been hiding you.”“Why would the Darkling hide me?”Genya shrugged. “For leverage. For profit. Who knows? But the King is … well, you’ll see what the King is.”My stomach turned. I was about to be presented to the King. I tried to steady myself, but as Genya hurried me out the door and down the hall, my legs felt leaden and shaky.Near the bottom of the stairs, she whispered, “If anyone asks, I just helped you get dressed. I’m not supposed to work on Grisha.”“Why not?”“Because the ridiculous Queen and her more ridiculous court think it’s not fair.”I gaped at her. Insulting the Queen could be considered treason, but Genya seemed unconcerned.When we entered the huge domed hall, it was crowded with Grisha in robes of crimson, purple, and darkest blue. Most of them looked to be around my age, but a few older Grisha were gathered in a corner. Despite the silver in their hair and their lined faces, they were strikingly attractive. In fact, everyone in the room was unnervingly good-looking.“The Queen may have a point,” I murmured.“Oh, this isn’t my handiwork,” said Genya.I frowned. If Genya was telling the truth, then this was just further evidence that I didn’t belong here.Someone had seen us enter the hall, and a hush fell as every eye in the room fastened onto me.A tall, broad-chested Grisha in red robes came forward. He had deeply tanned skin and seemed to exude good health. He made a low bow and said, “I am Sergei Beznikov.”“I’m—”“I know who you are, of course,” Sergei interrupted, his white teeth flashing. “Come, let me introduce you. You’ll be walking with us.” He took me by the elbow and began to steer me toward a group of Corporalki.“She’s a Summoner, Sergei,” said a girl in a blue kefta with flowing brown curls. “She walks with us.” There were murmurs of assent from the other Etherealki behind her.“Marie,” said Sergei with an insincere smile, “you can’t possibly be suggesting that she enter the hall as a lower-order Grisha.”Marie’s alabaster skin went suddenly blotchy, and several of the Summoners got to their feet. “Need I remind you that the Darkling is himself a Summoner?”“So you’re ranking yourself with the Darkling now?”Marie sputtered, and in an attempt to make peace, I interjected, “Why don’t I just go with Genya?”There were a few low snickers.

“With the Tailor?” Sergei asked, looking aghast.I glanced at Genya, who simply smiled and shook her head.“She belongs with us,” protested Marie, and argument broke out all around us.“She’ll walk with me,” said a low voice, and the room went silent.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, again like Les Mis, while I am self inserting i am not imagining myself exactly. Here is a link to a short youtube slideshow of all the various hairstyles and things she will wear. Including the closest I can get to how I imagine the antlers will be.
> 
> https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VDAK1rQksfY


	8. Seven

I turned and saw  the Darkling standing in an archway, ~~standing tall and handsome,~~ flanked by Ivan and several other Grisha whom I recognized from the journey. Marie and Sergei backed away hastily. The Darkling surveyed the crowd and said, “We are expected.” Instantly, the room bustled with activity as the Grisha rose and began to file through the large double doors that led outside. They arranged themselves two abreast in a long line. First the Materialki, then the Etherealki, and finally the Corporalki, so that the highest-ranked Grisha would enter the throne room last.

 

Unsure of what to do, I stayed where I was, watching the crowd. I looked around for Genya, but she seemed to have disappeared. A moment later, the Darkling was beside me. I glanced up at his pale profile, the sharp jaw, the granite eyes. “You look well rested,” he said. I bristled with pride. He had noticed the change though subtle. I was grateful for it. I still didn’t look like I belonged, but I would have stuck out much worse without Genya’s help. “Are there other Tailors?” I asked. “Genya is unique,” he answered, glancing at me. “Like us.” I ignored the little thrill that went through me at the word us and said, “Why isn’t she walking with the rest of the Grisha?” “Genya must attend to the Queen.” “Why?” “When Genya’s abilities began to show themselves, I could have had her choose between becoming a Fabrikator or a Corporalnik. Instead, I cultivated her particular affinity and made a gift of her to the Queen.” “A gift? So a Grisha is no better than a serf?” “We all serve someone,” he said, and I was surprised by the harsh edge in his voice. Then he added, “The King will expect a demonstration.” I felt as if I’d been dunked in ice water. “But I don’t know how to—” “I don’t expect you to,” he said calmly, moving forward as the last of the red-robed Corporalki disappeared through the door. We emerged onto the gravel path and into the last of the afternoon sunshine. I was finding it hard to breathe. I felt as if I were walking to my execution. Maybe I am, I thought with a surge of dread.

 

“This isn’t fair,” I whispered angrily. “I don’t know what the King thinks I can do, but it isn’t fair to throw me out there and expect me to just … make things happen.” “I hope you don’t expect fairness from me, Allessa. It isn’t one of my specialties.” I stared at him. What was I supposed to make out of that? The Darkling glanced down at me. “Do you really believe I brought you all this way to make a fool out of you? Out of both of us?” “No,” I admitted. “And it’s completely out of your hands now, isn’t it?” he said as we made our way through the dark wooded tunnel of branches. That was true too, if not particularly comforting. I had no choice but to trust that he knew what he was doing. Something inside me even  ~~craved desired~~ welcomed it. I had a sudden unpleasant thought. “Are you going to cut me again?” I asked. “I doubt I’ll have to, but it all depends on you.” I was not reassured. I tried to calm myself and to slow the beating of my heart but, before I knew it, we had made our way through the grounds and were climbing the white marble steps to the Grand Palace. As we moved through a spacious entry hall into a long corridor lined with mirrors and ornamented in gold, I thought how different this place was from the Little Palace. Everywhere I looked, I saw marble and gold, soaring walls of white and palest blue, gleaming chandeliers, liveried footmen, polished parquet floors laid out in elaborate geometric designs. It wasn’t without beauty, but there was something exhausting about the extravagance of it all. I’d always assumed that Ravka’s hungry peasants and poorly supplied soldiers were the result of the Shadow Fold. But as we walked by a tree of jade embellished with diamond leaves, I wasn’t so sure.

 

The throne room was three stories high, every window sparkling with gold double eagles. A long, pale blue carpet ran the length of the room to where the members of the court milled about a raised throne. Many of the men wore military dress, black trousers and white coats laden with medals and ribbons. The women sparkled in gowns of liquid silk with little puffed sleeves and low necklines. Flanking the carpeted aisle, the Grisha stood arranged in their separate orders. A hush fell as every face turned to me and the Darkling. We walked slowly toward the golden throne. As we drew closer, the King sat up straighter, tense with excitement. He looked to be in his forties, slender and round-shouldered with big watery eyes and a pale mustache. He wore full military dress, a thin sword at his side, his narrow chest covered with medals. Beside him on the raised dais stood a man with a long, dark beard. He wore priest’s robes, but a gold double eagle was emblazoned on his chest. The Darkling gave my arm a gentle squeeze to warn me that we were stopping.

 

“Your highness, moi tsar,” he said in clear tones. “Allessa Staleen, the Sun Summoner.” A rush of murmurs came from the crowd. I wasn’t sure if I should bow or curtsy. Ana Kuya had insisted that all the orphans know how to greet the Duke’s few noble guests, but somehow, it didn’t feel right to curtsy in army-issue trousers. The King saved me from making a blunder when he waved us forward impatiently. “Come, come! Bring her to me.” The Darkling and I walked to the base of the dais. The King scrutinized me. He frowned, and his lower lip jutted out slightly. “She’s very  _ plain _ looking and innocent for a Grisha..” I flushed and bit my tongue. The King wasn’t much to look at either. He was practically chinless, and close up, I could see the broken blood vessels in his nose.

 

“Show me,” the King commanded. My stomach clenched. I looked at the Darkling. This was it. He nodded at me and spread his arms wide. A tense silence descended as his hands filled with dark, swirling ribbons of blackness that bled into the air. He brought his hands together with a resounding crack. Nervous cries burst from the crowd as darkness blanketed the room. This time, I was better prepared for the dark that engulfed me, but it was still frightening. Instinctively, I reached forward, searching for something to hold on to. The Darkling caught my arm and his bare hand slid into mine. I felt that same powerful certainty wash through me  ~~along with something else~~ and then the Darkling’s call, pure and compelling, demanding an answer. With a mixture of panic and relief, I felt something rising up inside me. This time, I didn’t try to fight it. I let it have its way. Light flooded the throne room, drenching us in warmth and shattering the darkness like black glass. The court erupted into applause. People were weeping and hugging one another. A woman fainted. The King was clapping the loudest, rising from his throne and applauding furiously, his expression exultant.

 

The Darkling let go of my hand and the light faded. “Brilliant!” the King shouted. “A miracle!” He descended the steps of the dais, the bearded priest gliding silently behind him, and took my hand in his own, raising it to his wet lips. “My dear girl,” he said. “My dear, dear girl.” I thought of what Genya had said about the King’s attention and felt my skin crawl, but I didn’t dare pull my hand away. Soon, though, he had relinquished me and was clapping the Darkling on the back. “Miraculous, simply miraculous,” he effused. “Come, we must make plans immediately.” As the King and the Darkling stepped away to talk, the priest drifted forward. “A miracle indeed,” I felt exposed without the Darkling here, to this man who was overall just ~~c~~ ~~reepy~~ odd, he said, staring at me with a disturbing intensity. His eyes were so brown they were almost black, and he smelled faintly of mildew and incense. Like a tomb, I thought with a shiver. I was grateful when he slithered away to join the King.

 

I was quickly surrounded by beautifully dressed men and women, all wishing to make my acquaintance and to touch my hand or my sleeve. They crowded on every side of me, jostling and pushing to get closer. Just as I felt fresh panic setting in, Genya appeared by my side. But my relief was short-lived.“The Queen wants to meet you,” she murmured into my ear. She steered me through the crowd and out a narrow side door into the hall, then into a jewel-like sitting room where the Queen reclined on a divan, a snuffling dog with a pushed-in face cradled on her lap. The Queen was beautiful, with glossy blond hair in a perfect coiffure, her delicate features cold and lovely. But there was also something a little odd about her face. Her irises seemed a little too blue, her hair too yellow, her skin too smooth. I wondered just how much work Genya had done on her. She was surrounded by ladies in exquisite gowns of petal pink and soft blue, their low necklines embroidered with gilded thread and tiny river pearls. And yet, they all paled beside Genya in her simple cream wool kefta, her bright red hair burning like a flame. “Moya tsaritsa,” Genya said, sinking into a low, graceful curtsy. “The Sun Summoner.” This time, I had to make a choice. I executed a small bow and heard a few low titters from the ladies.

 

“Charming,” said the Queen. “I loathe pretense.” It took all my willpower not to snort at this. “You are from a Grisha family?” she asked. I glanced nervously at Genya, who nodded encouragement. “No,” I said, and then quickly added, “moya tsaritsa.” “A peasant then?” I nodded. “We are so lucky in our people,” the Queen said, and the ladies murmured soft assent. “Your family must be notified of your new status. Genya will send a messenger.” Genya nodded and gave another little curtsy. I thought about just nodding right along with her, but I wasn’t sure I wanted to start lying to royalty. “Actually, your highness, I was raised in Duke Keramsov’s household.” The ladies buzzed in surprise, and even Genya looked curious. “An orphan!” exclaimed the Queen, sounding delighted. “How marvelous!” I wasn’t sure that I would describe my parents being dead as “marvelous,” but at a loss for anything else to say, I mumbled, “Thank you, moya tsaritsa.” “This all must seem so very strange to you. Take care that life at court does not corrupt you the way it has others,” she said, her blue marble eyes sliding to Genya. The insult was unmistakeable, but Genya’s expression betrayed nothing, a fact which did not seem to please the Queen. She dismissed us with a flick of her ring-laden fingers. “Go now.”

 

As Genya led me back into the hallway, I thought I heard her mutter, “Old cow.” But before I could decide whether or not to ask her about what the Queen had said, the Darkling was there, steering us down an empty corridor. “How did you fare with the Queen?” he asked. “I have no idea,” I said honestly. “Everything she said was perfectly nice, but the whole time she was looking at me as if I were something her dog spit up.” Genya laughed, and the Darkling’s lips quirked in what was nearly a smile. “Welcome to court,” he said. “I’m not sure I like it.” “No one does,” he admitted. “But we all make a good show of it.” “The King seemed pleased,” I offered. “The King is a child.” My mouth fell open in shock and I looked around nervously, afraid someone had overheard. These people seemed to speak treason as easily as breathing. Genya didn’t look remotely disturbed by the Darkling’s words. The Darkling must have noticed my discomfort, because he said, “But today, you’ve made him a very happy child.” “Who was that bearded man with the King?” I asked, eager to change the subject. “The Apparat?” “Is he a priest?” “Of a sort. Some say he’s a fanatic. Others say he’s a fraud.” “And you?” “I say he has his uses.” The Darkling turned to Genya. “I think we’ve asked enough of Allessa for today,” he said. “Take her back to her chambers and have her fitted for her kefta. She will start instruction tomorrow.” Genya gave a little bow and laid her hand on my arm to lead me away. I was overcome by excitement and relief. My power (my power, it still didn’t seem real) had shown up again and kept me from making a fool of myself. I’d made it through my introduction to the King and my audience with the Queen. And I was going to be given a Grisha’s kefta. “Genya,” the Darkling called after us, “the kefta will be black.”

 

Genya drew a startled breath. I looked at her stunned face and then at the Darkling, who was already turning to go. “Wait!” I called before I could stop myself. The Darkling halted and turned those slate-colored eyes on me. “Thank you for today. I would not have been able to cope without you.”  The Darkling looked at me for a long moment. I wasn’t sure if he was thinking over what I’d said or trying to intimidate me, but I gritted my teeth and returned his gaze. Abruptly, he nodded. “You are welcome.” And without another word, he turned his back on us and disappeared down the hall. Genya stared at me, aghast. “What?” I asked defensively. “Allessa,” Genya said slowly, “no other Grisha has ever been permitted to wear a Darkling’s colors.” “Really?” “That’s hardly the point! It is a mark of your standing, of the Darkling’s esteem. It has placed you high above all others.” “Well, I don’t want to be high above all others.”

Genya threw up her hands in exasperation and took me by the elbow, leading me back through the palace to the main entrance. Two liveried servants opened the large golden doors for us. With a jolt, I realized that they were wearing white and gold, the same colors as Genya’s kefta, a servant’s colors. I sat down by the window, staring out at the grounds. While I brooded, Genya rang for a servant, whom she sent to find a seamstress and order up a dinner tray. But before she sent the girl away, she turned to me. “Maybe you’d prefer to wait and dine with the Grisha later tonight?” she asked. I shook my head. I was far too tired and overwhelmed to even think about being around another crowd of people. “But would you stay?” I asked her. She hesitated. “You don’t have to, of course,” I said quickly. “I’m sure you’ll want to eat with everyone else.” “Not at all. Dinner for two then,” she said imperiously, and the servant raced off. Genya closed the door and walked to the little dressing table, where she started straightening the items on its surface: a comb, a brush, a pen and pot of ink. I didn’t recognize any of them, but someone must have had them brought to my room for me. With her back still to me, Genya said, “Allessa, you should understand that, when you start your training tomorrow … well, Corporalki don’t eat with Summoners. Summoners don’t dine with Fabrikators, and—” I felt instantly defensive. “Look, if you don’t want to stay for dinner, I promise not to cry into my soup.” “No!” she exclaimed. “It’s not that at all! I’m just trying to explain the way things work.”

“Forget it.” Genya blew out a frustrated breath. “You don’t understand. It’s a great honor to be asked to dine with you, but the other Grisha might not approve.” “Why?” Genya sighed and sat down on one of the carved chairs. “Because I’m the Queen’s pet. Because they don’t consider what I do valuable. A lot of reasons.” I considered what the other reasons might be and if they had something to do with the King. I thought of the liveried servants standing at every doorway in the Grand Palace, all of them dressed in white and gold. What must it be like for Genya, isolated from her own kind but not a true member of the court? “It’s funny,” I said after a while. “I always thought that being beautiful would make life so much easier. And yet here I am, beautiful, though the King disagrees, and life has not changed a bit” “Oh it does,” Genya said, and laughed. I couldn’t help but laugh, too. We were interrupted by a knock on the door, and the seamstress soon had us occupied with fittings and measurements. When she had finished and was gathering up her muslin and pins, Genya whispered “It isn’t too late. I will go.” I shook my head sternly. “Stay” The seamstress left, and we turned our attention to dinner. The food was less alien than I’d expected, the kind of food we’d eaten on feast days at Keramzin: sweet pea porridge, quail roasted in honey, and fresh figs. I found I was hungrier than I’d ever been and had to resist picking up my plate to lick it.

 

Genya maintained a steady stream of chatter during dinner, mostly about Grisha gossip. I didn’t know any of the people she was talking about, but I was grateful not to have to make conversation, so I nodded and smiled when necessary. When the last servants left, taking our dinner dishes with them, I couldn’t suppress a yawn, and Genya rose. “I’ll come get you for breakfast in the morning. It will take a while for you to learn your way around. The Little Palace can be a bit of a maze.” Then her perfect lips turned up in a mischievous smile. “You should try to rest. Tomorrow you meet Baghra.” “Baghra?” Genya grinned wickedly. “Oh yes. She’s an absolute treat.” Before I could ask what she meant, she gave me a little wave and slipped out the door. I bit my lip. Exactly what was in store for me tomorrow? As the door closed behind Genya, I felt fatigue creep over me. The thrill of knowing that my power might actually be real, the excitement of meeting the King and Queen, the strange marvels of the Grand Palace and the Little Palace had kept my exhaustion at bay, but now it returned—and, with it, a huge, echoing feeling of loneliness. I undressed, hung my uniform neatly on a peg behind the star-speckled screen, and placed my shiny new boots beneath it. I rubbed the soft silk of the kefta between my fingers, hoping to find some sense of familiarity, but the fabric felt wrong, too soft, too new. I suddenly missed my dirty old coat.I changed into a nightdress of soft white cotton, with tank top sleeves and lace around the bust and bottom, and rinsed my face. As I patted it dry, I caught a glimpse of myself in the glass above the basin. Maybe it was the lamplight, but I thought I looked even better than when Genya had first finished her work on me. After a moment, I realized I was just gawking at myself in the mirror and had to smile. For a girl who hated looking at herself, I was at risk of becoming vain.

  
I climbed onto the high bed, slid beneath the heavy silks and furs, and blew out the lamp. Distantly, I heard a door closing, voices calling their goodnights, the sounds of the Little Palace going to sleep. I stared into the darkness. I’d never had a room to myself before. In Keramzin, I’d slept in an old portrait hall that had been converted into a dormitory, surrounded by countless other girls. In the army, I’d slept in the barracks or tents with the other Surveyors. My new room felt huge and empty. In the silence, all the events of the day rushed in on me, and tears pricked my eyes. Maybe I would wake tomorrow and find that it had all been a dream, that Alexei was still alive and Mal was unhurt, That Alina was still alive, that no one had tried to kill me, that I’d never met the King and Queen or seen the Apparat, or felt the Darkling’s hand on the nape of my neck. Maybe I would wake to smell the campfires burning, safe in my own clothes, on my little cot, and I could tell Mal all about this strange and terrifying, but very beautiful, dream. I rubbed my thumb over the scar in my palm and heard Mal’s voice saying, “We’ll be okay, Allessa. We always are.” “I hope so, Mal,” I whispered into my pillow and let my tears carry me to sleep.


	9. Eight

  
  


After a restless night, I woke early and couldn’t get back to sleep. I’d forgotten to close the curtains when I went to bed, and sunlight was streaming through the windows. I thought about getting up to close them and trying to go back to sleep, but I just didn’t have the energy. I wasn’t sure if it was worry and fear that had kept me tossing and turning, or the unfamiliar luxury of sleeping in a real bed after so many months spent on wobbly canvas cots or with nothing but a bedroll between me and the hard ground. I stretched and reached out to run a finger over the intricately carved birds and flowers on the bedpost. High above me, the canopy of the bed opened to reveal a ceiling painted in bold colors, an elaborate pattern of leaves and flowers and birds in flight. As I was staring up at it, counting the leaves of a juniper wreath and beginning to doze off again, a soft knock came at the door. I threw off the heavy covers and slid my feet into the little fur-lined slippers set out by the bed.

 

When I opened the door, a servant was waiting with a stack of clothing, a pair of silk flats, and a black kefta draped over her arm. I barely had time to thank her before she bobbed a curtsy and disappeared. I closed the door and set the boots and clothing down on the bed. The new kefta I hung carefully over the dressing screen.

For a while, I just looked at it. I’d spent my life in clothes passed down from older orphans, and then in the standard-issue uniform of the First Army. I’d certainly never had anything made for me. And I’d never dreamed that I would wear a Grisha’s kefta.

Especially a silk black one with gold patterns. I already felt as if I  ~~was his~~ was Grisha

I washed my face and combed my hair. I wasn’t sure when Genya would be arriving, so I didn’t know if I had time for a bath. I was desperate for a glass of tea, but I didn’t have the courage to ring for a servant. Finally, there was nothing left for me to do.

I started with the pile of clothes on the bed: The Kefta and silk flats that seemed more like slippers.  When I was dressed, I eyed the kefta. Was I really going to put that on? Was I really going to be a Grisha? It didn’t seem possible.  _ It’s just a dress like object, _ I chided myself. I took a deep breath, pulled the kefta off the screen, and slipped it on. It was lighter than it looked, and it fit perfectly. I fastened the little hidden buttons in the back and stepped back to try to look at myself in the mirror above the basin. The kefta was deepest black and fell nearly to my feet. It had gold circles with white silk in the middle covering my chest and tapering down in a triangular pattern to a straight line. My cuffs were embroidered in gold where Grisha usually put their identifying color. I would be the only gold, probably ever. I ran my finger over the gleaming threads, feeling a sharp twinge of anxiety, and nearly jumped when a knock sounded at the door.

 

“Very nice,” said Genya when I opened the door.  I did the graceful thing and stuck my tongue out at her in greeting, then hurried to follow as she swept down the hallway and descended the stairs. Genya led me to the same domed room where we had gathered the previous afternoon for the processional. It wasn’t nearly as crowded today, but there was still a lively buzz of conversation. In the corners, Grisha clustered around samovars and lounged on divans, warming themselves by elaborately tiled ovens. Others breakfasted at the four long tables arranged in a square at the room’s center. Again, a hush seemed to fall as we entered, but this time people at least pretended to carry on their conversations as we passed. Yet I heard their whispers about my kefta. “Black? Why?” “Ugh I wish I had gold.” “Thinks she’s so special.”

Two girls in Summoners’ robes swooped down on us. I recognized Marie from her argument with Sergei before the processional. “Allessa!” she said. “We weren’t properly introduced yesterday. I’m Marie, and this is Nadia.” She gestured to the apple-cheeked girl beside her, who smiled toothily at me. Marie looped her arm through mine, deliberately turning her back on Genya. “Come sit with us!” I frowned and opened my mouth to protest, but Genya simply shook her head and said, “Go on. You belong with the Etherealki. I’ll fetch you after breakfast to give you a tour.” “We can show her around—” began Marie. But Genya cut her off. “To give you a tour as the Darkling requested.” Marie flushed. “What are you, her maid?” “Something like that,” Genya said, and walked off to pour herself a glass of tea. “Far above herself,” said Nadia with a little sniff. “Worse every day,” Marie agreed. Then she turned to me and beamed. “You must be starving!”

 

She led me to one of the long tables, and as we approached, two servants stepped forward to pull out chairs for us. “We sit here, at the right hand of the Darkling,” said Marie, pride in her voice, gesturing down the length of the table where more Grisha in blue kefta sat. “The Corporalki sit there,” she said with a disdainful glance at the table opposite ours, where a glowering Sergei and a few other red-robed figures were eating breakfast. It occurred to me that if we were at the right hand of the Darkling, the Corporalki were just as close to him on the left, but I didn’t mention that.

 

The Darkling’s table was empty, the only sign of his presence a large ebony chair. When I asked if he would be eating breakfast with us, Nadia shook her head vigorously.

 

“Oh no! He hardly ever dines with us,” she said. I raised my eyebrows. All this fuss about who sat nearest the Darkling, and he couldn’t be bothered to show up? Plates of rye bread and pickled herring were placed in front of us, and I had to stifle a gag. I hate herring. Luckily, there was plenty of bread and, I saw with astonishment, sliced plums that must have come from a hothouse. A servant brought us hot tea from one of the large samovars. “Sugar!” I exclaimed as he set a little bowl before me. Marie and Nadia exchanged a glance and I blushed. Sugar had been rationed in Ravka for the last hundred years, but apparently it wasn’t a novelty in the Little Palace. Another group of Summoners joined us and, after brief introductions, began peppering me with questions. Where was I from? The North. (Mal and I never lied about where we were from. We just didn’t tell the whole truth.) Was I really a mapmaker? Yes. Had I really been attacked by Fjerdans? Yes. Why was I in black? The Darkling requested it. How many volcra had I killed? None. They all seemed disappointed by this last answer, particularly the boys. “But I heard you killed hundreds of them when the skiff was attacked!” protested a boy named Ivo with the sleek features of a mink.

 

“Well, I didn’t,” I said, and then considered. “At least, I don’t think I did. I … um … kind of fainted.” “You fainted?” Ivo looked appalled. I was exceedingly grateful when I felt a tap on my shoulder and saw that Genya had come to my rescue. “Shall we?” she asked, ignoring the others. I mumbled my goodbyes and quickly escaped, conscious of their stares following us across the room. “How was breakfast?” Genya asked. “Awful.” Genya made a disgusted sound. “Herring and rye?” I’d been thinking more about the interrogation, but I just nodded. She wrinkled her nose. “Vile.” I eyed her suspiciously. “What did you eat?” Genya looked over her shoulder to make sure no one was within earshot and whispered, “One of the cooks has a daughter with terrible spots. I took care of them for her, and now she sends me the same pastries they prepare for the Grand Palace every morning. They’re divine.” I smiled and shook my head. The other Grisha might look down on Genya, but she had her own kind of power and influence.

 

“But don’t say anything about it,” Genya added. “The Darkling is very keen on the idea that we all eat hearty peasant fare. Saints forbid we forget we’re real Ravkans.”

 

I restrained a snort. The Little Palace was a storybook version of serf life, no more like the real Ravka than the glitter and gilt of the royal court. The Grisha seemed obsessed with emulating serf ways, right down to the clothes they wore beneath their kefta. But there was something a little silly about eating “hearty peasant fare” off porcelain plates, beneath a dome inlaid with real gold. And what peasant wouldn’t pick pastry over pickled fish? “I won’t say a word,” I promised. “Good! If you’re very nice to me, I might even share,” Genya said with a wink. “Now, these doors lead to the library and the workrooms.” She gestured to a massive set of double doors in front of us. “That way to get back to your room,” she said, pointing to the right. “And that way to the Grand Palace,” she said, pointing to the double doors on the left. Genya started to lead me toward the library. “But what about that way?” I asked, nodding to the closed double doors behind the Darkling’s table. “If those doors open, pay attention. They lead to the Darkling’s council room and his quarters.”

 

When I looked more closely at the heavily carved doors, I could make out the Darkling’s symbol hidden in the tangle of vines and running animals. I tore myself away and hurried after Genya, who was already on her way out of the domed hall.I followed her across a corridor to another set of enormous double doors. This pair had been carved to look like the cover of an old book, and when Genya pulled them open, I gasped. The library was two stories high, its walls lined from floor to ceiling with books. A balcony ran around the second story, and its dome was made entirely of glass so that the whole room glowed with morning light. A few reading chairs and small tables were set by the walls. At the room’s center, directly beneath the sparkling glass dome, was a round table ringed by a circular bench.

 

“You’ll have to come here for history and theory,” Genya said, leading me around the table and across the room. “I finished with all that years ago. So boring.” Then she laughed. “Close your mouth. You look like a trout.” I snapped my mouth shut, but that didn’t stop me from looking around in awe. The Duke’s library had seemed so grand to me, but compared to this place it was a hovel. All of Keramzin seemed shabby and faded viewed beside the beauty of the Little Palace, but somehow it made me sad to think of it that way. I wondered what Mal’s eyes would see. My steps slowed. Were the Grisha allowed guests? Could Mal come visit me in Os Alta? He had his duties with his regiment, but if he could get leave … The thought filled me with excitement. The Little Palace didn’t seem quite so intimidating when I thought of walking its corridors with my best friend.

 

We left the library through another set of double doors and passed into a dark hallway. Genya turned left, but I glanced down the hall to the right and saw two Corporalki emerge from a large set of red-lacquered doors. They gave us unfriendly looks before they disappeared into the shadows. “Come on,” Genya whispered, grabbing hold of my arm and pulling me in the opposite direction. “Where do those doors lead?” I asked. “To the anatomy rooms.” A chill rippled through me. The Corporalki. Healers … and Heartrenders. They had to practice somewhere, but I hated to think what that practice might entail. I quickened my steps to catch up with Genya. I didn’t want to get caught by myself anywhere near those red doors.

 

At the end of the hallway, we stopped at a set of doors made of light wood, exquisitely carved with birds and blooming flowers. The flowers had yellow diamonds at their centers, and the birds had what looked like amethyst eyes. The door handles were wrought to look like two perfect hands. Genya took hold of one and pushed the door open. The Fabrikators’ workshops had been positioned to make the most of the clear eastern light, and the walls were made up almost entirely of windows. The brightly lit rooms reminded me a bit of a Documents Tent, but instead of atlases, stacks of paper, and bottles of ink, the large worktables were laden with bolts of fabric, chunks of glass, thin skeins of gold and steel, and strangely twisted hunks of rock. In one corner, terrariums held exotic flowers, insects, and—I saw with a shudder—snakes.

 

The Materialki in their dark purple kefta sat hunched over their work, but looked up to stare their fill at me as we passed. At one table, two female Fabrikators were working a molten lump of what I thought might become Grisha steel, their table scattered with bits of diamond and jars full of silkworms. At another table, a Fabrikator with a cloth tied over his nose and mouth was measuring out a thick black liquid that stank of tar. Genya led me past all of them to where a Fabrikator hunched over a set of tiny glass discs. He was pale, reed-thin, and in dire need of a haircut.

 

“Hello, David,” said Genya. David looked up, blinked, gave a curt nod, and bent back to his work. Genya sighed. “David, this is Allessa.” David gave a grunt. “The Sun Summoner,” Genya added. “These are for you,” he said without looking up. I looked at the disks. “Oh, um … thank you?” I wasn’t sure what else to say, but when I looked at Genya, she just shrugged and rolled her eyes.

 

“Goodbye, David,” she said deliberately. David grunted. Genya took my arm and led me outside onto an arched wooden arcade that overlooked a rolling green lawn. “Don’t take it personally,” she said. “David is a great metalworker. He can fold a blade so sharp it will cut through flesh like water. But if you’re not made of metal or glass, he isn’t interested.” Genya’s voice was light, but it had a funny little edge to it, and when I glanced at her, I saw that there were bright spots of color on her perfect cheekbones. I looked back through the windows to where I could still see David’s bony shoulders and messy brown hair. I smiled. If a creature as gorgeous as Genya could fall for a skinny, studious Fabrikator, there might be hope for me yet. “What?” she said, noticing my smile. “Nothing, nothing.” Genya squinted suspiciously at me, but I kept my mouth shut. We followed the arcade along the eastern wall of the Little Palace, past more windows that looked into the Fabrikators’ workshops. Then we turned a corner and the windows stopped. Genya quickened her pace.

 

“Why aren’t there any windows?” I asked. Genya glanced nervously at the solid walls. They were the only parts of the Little Palace I’d seen that weren’t covered in carvings. “We’re on the other side of the Corporalki anatomy rooms.” “Don’t they need light to … do their work?” “Skylights,” she said. “In the roof, like the library dome. They prefer it that way. It keeps them and their secrets safe.” “But what do they do in there?” I asked, not entirely sure I wanted to hear the answer. “Only the Corporalki know. But there are rumors that they’ve been working with the Fabrikators on new … experiments.” I shivered and was relieved when we turned another corner and the windows began again. Through them I saw bedrooms like my own, and I realized I was seeing the downstairs dormitories. I was grateful that I’d been given a room on the third floor. I could have done without all those stairs to climb, but now that I had my own room for the first time, I was glad that people couldn’t just walk by my window.

 

Genya pointed to the lake I’d seen from my room. “That’s where we’re going,” she said, pointing to the little white structures dotting the shore. “To the Summoners’ pavilions.” “All the way out there?” “It’s the safest place for you sort to practice. All we need is some overexcited Inferni to burn the whole palace down around us.” “Ah,” I said. “I hadn’t thought about that.” “That’s nothing. The Fabrikators have another place all the way outside the city where they work on blast powders. I can arrange for you to have a tour there, too,” she said with a wicked grin. “I’ll pass.” We descended a set of steps to a gravel path and made our way to the lake. As we approached it, another building became visible on the far shore. To my surprise, I saw groups of children running and shouting around it. Children in red, blue, and purple. A bell rang, and they left off their playing and streamed inside.

 

“A school?” I asked. Genya nodded. “When a Grisha’s talent is discovered, the child is brought here for training. It’s where nearly all of us learned the Small Science.” Again I thought of those three figures looming over me in the sitting room at Keramzin. Why hadn’t the Grisha Examiners discovered my abilities all those years ago? It was hard to imagine what my life might have been like if they had. I would have been catered to by servants instead of working side by side with them at chores. I never would have become a cartographer or even learned to draw a map. And what might it have meant for Ravka? If I’d learned to use my power, the Shadow Fold might already be a thing of the past. Mal and I would never have had to fight the volcra. In fact, Mal and I would probably have long forgotten each other.

 

I looked back across the water to the school. “What happens when they finish?” “They become members of the Second Army. Many are sent to the great houses to serve with noble families, or they’re sent to serve with the First Army on the northern or southern front, or near the Fold. The best are chosen to remain at the Little Palace, to finish their education and join the Darkling’s service.” “What about their families?” I asked. “They’re compensated handsomely. A Grisha’s family never wants.” “That’s not what I meant. Don’t you ever go home to visit?” Genya shrugged. “I haven’t seen my parents since I was five. This is my home.” Looking at Genya in her white and gold kefta, I wasn’t quite convinced. I’d lived at Keramzin for most of my life, but I’d never felt I belonged there. And even after a year, the same had been true for the King’s Army. The only place I’d ever felt I belonged was with Mal, and even that hadn’t lasted. For all her beauty, maybe Genya and I weren’t so different after all.

 

When we reached the lakeshore, we strolled past the stone pavilions, but Genya didn’t stop until we reached a path that wound from the shore into the woods. “Here we are,” she said. I peered up the path. Hidden in the shadows, I could just make out a small stone hut, obscured by trees. “There?” “I can’t go with you. Not that I’d want to.”

I looked back up the path and a little shiver ran up my spine. Genya gave me a pitying look. “Baghra’s not so bad once you get used to her. But you don’t want to be late.” “Right,” I said hastily, and scurried up the path. “Good luck!” Genya called after me.

The stone hut was round and, I noted apprehensively, didn’t seem to have any windows. I walked up the few steps to the door and knocked. When no one answered, I knocked again and waited. I wasn’t sure what to do. I looked back up the path, but Genya was long gone. I knocked once more, then screwed up my courage and opened the door. The heat hit me like a blast, and I instantly began to sweat in my new clothes. As my eyes adjusted to the dimness, I could just make out a narrow bed, a basin, and a stove with a kettle on it. At the center of the room were two chairs and a fire roaring in a large tile oven. “You’re late,” said a harsh voice. I looked around but didn’t see anyone in the tiny room. Then one of the shadows moved. I nearly jumped out of my skin.

 

“Shut the door, girl. You’re letting the heat out.” I closed the door. “Good, let’s have a look at you.” I wanted to turn and run in the other direction, but I told myself to stop being stupid. I forced myself to walk over to the fire. The shadow emerged from behind the oven to peer at me in the firelight. My first impression was of an impossibly ancient woman, but when I looked closer, I wasn’t sure why I’d thought that at all. Baghra’s skin was smooth and taut over the sharp angles of her face. Her back was straight, her body wiry like a Suli acrobat, her coal-black hair untouched by gray. And yet the firelight made her features eerily skull-like, all jutting bones and deep hollows. She wore an old kefta of indeterminate color, and with one skeletal hand she gripped a flat-headed cane that looked like it had been hewn from silvery, petrified wood.“So,” she said in a low, guttural voice, “you’re the Sun Summoner. Come to save us all. zAnd dressed in black, no less. SO innocent looking. Where’s the rest of you?” I shifted uneasily. “Well, girl, are you mute?” “No,” I managed. “That’s something, I suppose. Why weren’t you tested as a child?”

  
“I was.” “Hmph,” she said. Then her expression changed. She looked on me with eyes so unfathomably bleak that a chill rippled through me, despite the heat of the room. “I hope you’re stronger than you look, girl,” she said grimly. A bony hand snaked out from the sleeve of her robes and fastened hard around my wrist. “Now,” she said, “let’s see what you can do.”


	10. Nine

It was a complete disaster . When Baghra fastene d her bony hand around my wrist, I realized instantly that she was an amplifier like the Darkling. I felt the same jolting surety flood through me, and sunlight erupted through the room, shimmering over the stone walls of Baghra’s hut. But when she released me and told me to call the power on my own, I was hopeless. She chided me, cajoled me, even hit me once with her stick. “What am I supposed to do with a girl who can’t call her own power?” she growled at me. “Even children can do this.” She slid her hand around my wrist again, and I felt that thing inside me rising up, struggling to break the surface. I reached for it, grasping, sure I could feel it. Then she let go, and the power slipped away from me, sinking like a stone. Finally, she shooed me away with a disgusted wave of her hand.

The day did not improve. I spent the rest of the morning at the library, where I was given a towering stack of books on Grisha theory and Grisha history and informed that this was just a fraction of my reading list. At lunch, I looked for Genya, but she was nowhere to be found. I sat down at the Summoners’ table and was quickly swarmed by Etherealki.

 

I picked at my plate as Marie and Nadia prodded me with questions about my first lesson, where my room was, if I wanted to go with them to the banya that night. When they realized they weren’t going to get much out of me, they turned to the other Summoners to chat about their classes. While I suffered with Baghra, the other Grisha were studying advanced theory, languages, military strategy. Apparently, this was all to prepare for when they left the Little Palace next summer. Most of them would travel to the Fold or to the northern or southern front to assume command positions in the Second Army. But the greatest honor was to be asked to travel with the Darkling as Ivan did. I did my best to pay attention, but my mind kept wandering back to my disastrous lesson with Baghra. At some point I realized that Marie must have asked me a question, because she and Nadia were both staring at me.

 

“Sorry, what?” I said. They exchanged a glance. “Do you want to walk with us to the stables?” Marie asked. “For combat training?” Combat training? I looked down at the little schedule Genya had left with me. Listed after lunch were the words “Combat Training, Botkin, West Stables.” So this day was actually going to get worse. “Sure,” I said numbly, and stood up with them. The servants sprang forward to pull our chairs out and clear the dishes. I doubted I’d ever get used to being waited on this way.

 

“Ne brinite,” Marie said with a giggle. “What?” I asked, baffled. “To e biti zabavno.”

 

Nadia giggled. “She said, ‘Don’t worry. It will be fun.’ It’s Suli dialect. Marie and I are studying it in case we get sent west.” “Ah,” I said. “Shi si yuyan Suli,” said Sergei as he strode past us out of the domed hall. “That’s Shu for ‘Suli is a dead language.’”

Marie scowled and Nadia bit her lip. “Sergei is studying Shu,” whispered Nadia.

“I got that,” I replied. Marie spent the entire walk to the stables complaining about Sergei and the other Corporalki and debating the merits of Suli over Shu. Suli was best for missions in the northwest. Shu meant you’d be stuck translating diplomatic papers. Sergei was an idiot who was better off learning to trade in Kerch. She took a brief break to point out the banya, an elaborate system of steam baths and cold pools nestled in a birch grove beside the Little Palace, then launched immediately into a rant about selfish Corporalki overrunning the baths every night. Maybe combat training wouldn’t be so bad. Marie and Nadia were definitely making me want to punch something.

 

As we were crossing the western lawn, I suddenly got the feeling that someone was watching me. I looked up and saw a figure standing off the path, nearly hidden by the shadows from a low stand of trees. There was no mistaking the long brown robes or the dirty black beard, and even from a distance, I could feel the eerie intensity of the Apparat’s stare. I hurried to catch up to Marie and Nadia, but I sensed his gaze following me, and when I looked back over my shoulder, he was still there. The training rooms were next to the stables—large, empty, high-beamed rooms with packed dirt floors and weapons of every variety lining the walls. Our instructor, Botkin Yul-Erdene, wasn’t Grisha; he was a former Shu Han mercenary who had fought in wars on every continent for any army that could afford his particular gift for violence. He had straggly gray hair and a gruesome scar across his neck where someone had tried to cut his throat. I spent the next two hours cursing that person for not doing a more thorough job.

 

Botkin started with endurance drills, racing us across the palace grounds. I did my best to keep up, but I was as weak and clumsy as ever, and I quickly fell behind. “Is this what they teach in First Army?” he sneered in his heavy Shu accent as I stumbled up a hill. I was too out of breath to answer. When we returned to the training rooms, the other Summoners paired off for sparring drills, and Botkin insisted on partnering me. The next hour was a blur of painful jabs and punches.

 

“Block!” he shouted, knocking me backward. “Faster! Maybe little girl likes to be hit?”

The sole consolation was that we weren’t allowed to use our Grisha abilities in the training rooms. So at least I was spared the embarrassment of revealing that I couldn’t call my power. When I was so tired and sore that I thought I might just lie down and let him kick me, Botkin dismissed the class. But before we were out the door he called, “Tomorrow, little girl comes early, trains with Botkin.” It was all I could do not to whimper. By the time I stumbled back to my room and bathed, I just wanted to slink beneath the covers and hide. But I forced myself to return to the domed hall for dinner. “Where’s Genya?” I asked Marie as I sat down at the Summoners’ table. “She eats at the Grand Palace.” “And sleeps there,” added Nadia. “The Queen likes to make sure she’s always available.” “So does the King.” “Marie!” Nadia protested, but she was snickering. I gaped at them. “You mean—”

 

“It’s just a rumor,” said Marie. But she and Nadia exchanged a knowing look. I thought of the King’s wet lips, the broken blood vessels in his nose, and beautiful Genya in her servant’s colors. I pushed my plate away. The little bit of appetite I’d had seemed to have disappeared. Dinner seemed to last forever. I nursed a glass of tea and endured another round of endless Summoner chatter. I was getting ready to excuse myself and escape back to my room when the doors behind the Darkling’s table opened and the domed hall fell silent. Ivan emerged and sauntered over to the Summoners’ table, seemingly oblivious to the stares of the other Grisha.

 

With a sinking sensation, I realized he was walking straight toward me. “Come with me, Starkov,” he said when he reached us, then added a mocking “please.” I pushed my chair back and rose on legs that felt suddenly weak. Had Baghra told the Darkling that I was hopeless? Had Botkin told him just how badly I’d failed at my lessons? The Grisha were goggling at me. Nadia’s jaw was actually hanging open. I followed Ivan across the silent hall and through the huge ebony doors. He led me down a hallway and through another door emblazoned with the Darkling’s symbol. It was easy to tell that I was in the war room. There were no windows, and the walls were covered with large maps of Ravka. The maps were made in the old style, with heated ink on animal hide. Under any other circumstances, I could have spent hours studying them, running my fingers over the raised mountains and twisting rivers. Instead, I stood with my hands bunched into clammy fists, my heart thudding in my chest.

 

The Darkling was seated at the end of a long table, reading through a pile of papers. He looked up when we entered, his quartz eyes glittering in the lamplight. “Allessa,” he said. “Please, sit.” He gestured to the chair beside him.  I hesitated. He didn’t sound angry.  ~~He looked~~ ~~divine~~. Ivan disappeared back through the door, closing it behind him. I swallowed hard and made myself cross the room and take the seat the Darkling offered. “How was your first day?” I swallowed again. “Fine,” I croaked. “Really?” he asked, but he was smiling slightly. “Even Baghra? She can be a bit of a trial.” “Just a bit,” I managed. “You’re tired?” I nodded. “Homesick?” I shrugged. It felt strange to say I was homesick for the barracks of the First Army. “A little, I guess.” “It will get better.” I bit my lip. I hoped so.  ~~It will if you are there to hold me~~ I wasn’t sure how many days like this one I could handle. “It will be harder for you,” he said. “An Etherealnik rarely works alone. Inferni pair up. Squallers often partner with Tidemakers. But you’re the only one of your kind.”

 

“Right,” I said wearily. I wasn’t really in the mood to hear about how special I was.

He rose. “Come with me,” he said. My heart started pounding again. He led me out of the war room and down another hallway. He pointed to a narrow door set unobtrusively into the wall. “Keep right and this will lead you back to the dormitories. I thought you might want to avoid the main hall.” I stared at him. “That’s it?” I blurted. “You just wanted to ask me about my day?” He cocked his head to one side. “What were you expecting?” I was so relieved that a little laugh escaped me. “I have no idea. Torture? Interrogation? A stern talking to?” He frowned slightly. “I’m not a monster, Allessa. Despite what you may have heard.” “I didn’t mean that,” I said hurriedly. “I just … I didn’t know what to expect.” “Other than the worst?” “It’s an old habit.” I knew I should stop there, but I couldn’t help myself. Maybe I wasn’t being fair. But neither was he. “Why shouldn’t I be afraid of you?” I asked. “You’re the Darkling. I’m not saying you would throw me in a ditch or ship me off to Tsibeya, but you certainly could. You can cut people in half. I think it’s fair to be a little intimidated.”He studied me for a long moment, and I wished fervently that I’d kept my mouth shut. But then that half smile flickered across his face. “You may have a point.”

 

A little of the fear ebbed out of me. “Why do you do that?” he asked suddenly.

“Do what?” He reached out and took hold of my hand. I felt that wonderful sense of surety rush through me. “Rub your thumb across your palm.” “Oh,” I laughed nervously. I hadn’t even been aware I was doing it. “Just another old habit.”

 

He turned my hand over and examined it in the dim light of the hallway. He dragged his thumb over the pale scar that ran across my palm. A shivery hum shot through me.  ~~Did he know what he was doing?~~  “Where did you get this?” he asked.

“I … Keramzin.” “Where you grew up?” “Yes.” “The tracker is an orphan, too?”

I drew in a sharp breath. Was mind reading another one of his powers? But then I remembered that Mal had given testimony in the Grisha tent.

 

“Yes,” I said. “Is he any good?” “What?” I was finding it hard to concentrate. The Darkling’s thumb was still moving back and forth, tracing the length of the scar on my palm. “At tracking. Is he any good at it?” “The best,” I said honestly. “The serfs at Keramzin said he could make rabbits out of rocks.” “I wonder sometimes how much we really understand our own gifts,” he mused. Then he dropped my hand and opened the door. He stepped aside and gave me a little bow. “Good night, Allessa.”

“Good night, ~~Don’t leave me~~ ” I managed. I ducked through the doorway and into a narrow hall. A moment later, I heard the sound of a door closing behind me.


	11. Ten

The next morning, my body ached so badly that I could barely drag myself out of bed. But I got up and did it all over again. And again. And again. Each day was worse and more frustrating than the one before, but I didn’t stop. I couldn’t. I wasn’t a mapmaker anymore, and if I couldn’t manage to become a Grisha, where would that leave me?

I thought of the Darkling’s words that night beneath the broken beams of the barn. You’re the first glimmer of hope I’ve had in a long time. He believed I was the Sun Summoner. He believed I could help him destroy the Fold. And if I could, no soldier, no merchant, no tracker would ever have to cross the Unsea again. But as the days dragged on, that idea began to seem more and more absurd. I spent long hours in Baghra’s hut learning breathing exercises and holding painful poses that were supposed to help with my focus. She gave me books to read, teas to drink, and repeated whacks with her stick, but nothing helped. “Should I cut you, girl?” she would cry in frustration. “Should I have an Inferni burn you? Should I have them throw you back into the Fold to make food for those abominations?”

 

My daily failures with Baghra were matched only by the torture that Botkin put me through. He ran me all over the palace grounds, through the woods, up and down hills until I thought I would collapse. He put me through sparring drills and falling drills until my body was covered in bruises and my ears ached from his constant grumbling: too slow, too weak, too skinny. “Botkin cannot build house from such little twigs!” he shouted at me, giving my upper arm a squeeze. “Eat something!” But I wasn’t hungry. The appetite that had appeared after my brush with death on the Fold was gone and food had lost all its savor. I slept poorly, despite my luxurious bed, and felt like I was stumbling through my days. The work Genya had done on me had worn off, and my cheeks were more sallow, my eyes shadowed, my hair dull and limp.

 

Baghra believed that my lack of appetite and inability to sleep were connected to my failure to call my power. “How much harder is it to walk with your feet bound? Or to talk with a hand over your mouth?” she lectured. “Why do you waste all of your strength fighting your true nature?”

 

I wasn’t. Or I didn’t think I was. I wasn’t sure of anything anymore. All my life I’d been frail and weak. Every day had felt like a struggle. If Baghra was right, all that would change when I finally mastered my Grisha talent. Assuming I ever did. Until then, I was stuck. I knew that the other Grisha were whispering about me. The Etherealki liked to practice by the lakeside together, experimenting with new ways to use wind and water and fire. I couldn’t risk them discovering that I couldn’t even call my own power, so I made excuses not to join them, and eventually they stopped inviting me.

In the evenings, they sat around the domed hall, sipping tea or kvas, planning weekend excursions into Balakirev or one of the other villages near Os Alta. But because the Darkling was still concerned about assassination attempts, I had to remain behind. I was glad for the excuse. The more time I spent with the Summoners, the greater the chance that I would be found out.

 

I rarely saw the Darkling, and when I did it was from a distance, coming or going, deep in conversation with Ivan or the King’s military advisers. I learned from the other Grisha that he wasn’t often at the Little Palace, but spent most of his time traveling between the Fold and the northern border, or south to where Shu Han raiding parties were attacking settlements before winter set in. Hundreds of Grisha were stationed throughout Ravka, and he was responsible for all of them.

 

He never said a word to me, rarely even glanced my way. I was sure it was because he knew that I was showing no improvement, that his Sun Summoner might turn out to be a complete failure after all. When I wasn’t suffering at the hands of Baghra or Botkin, I was sitting in the library, wading through books on Grisha theory. I thought I understood the basics of what Grisha did. (Of what we did, I amended.) Everything in the world could be broken down into the same small parts. What looked like magic was really the Grisha manipulating matter at its most fundamental levels.

 

Marie didn’t make fire. She summoned combustible elements in the air around us, and she still needed a flint to make the spark that would burn that fuel. Grisha steel wasn’t endowed with magic, but by the skill of Fabrikators, who did not need heat or crude tools to manipulate metal. But if I understood what we did, I was less sure of how we did it. The grounding principle of the Small Science was “like calls to like,” but then it got complicated. Odinakovost was the “thisness” of a thing that made it the same as everything else. Etovost was the “thatness” of a thing that made it different from everything else. Odinakovost connected Grisha to the world, but it was etovost that gave them an affinity for something like air, or blood, or in my case, light. Around then, my head started swimming.

 

One thing did stand out to me: the word the philosophers used to describe people born without Grisha gifts, otkazat’sya, “the abandoned.” It was another word for orphan. Late one afternoon, I was plodding through a passage describing Grisha assistance with trade routes when I felt someone’s presence beside me. I looked up and cringed back in my chair. The Apparat was looming over me, his flat black pupils lit with peculiar intensity. I glanced around the library. It was empty except for us, and despite the sun pouring through the glass ceiling, I felt a chill creep through me. He sat down in the chair beside me with a gust of musty robes, and the damp smell of tombs enveloped me. I tried to breathe through my mouth. “Are you enjoying your studies, Allessa Staleen?” “Very much,” I lied. “I’m so glad,” he said. “But I hope you will remember to feed the soul as well as the mind. I am the spiritual adviser to all those within the palace walls. Should you find yourself worried or in distress, I hope you will not hesitate to come to me.” “I will,” I said. “Absolutely.” “Good, good.” He smiled, revealing a mouth of crowded, yellowing teeth, his gums black like a wolf ’s. “I want us to be friends. It is so important that we are friends.” “Of course.” “I would be pleased if you would accept a gift from me,” he said, reaching into the folds of his brown robes and removing a small book bound in red leather. How could someone offering you a present sound so creepy?  _**~~Fricking weirdo~~ ** _ _**~~.~~**_ Reluctantly, I leaned forward and took the book from his long, blue-veined hand. The title was embossed in gold on the cover: Istorii Sankt’ya. “The Lives of Saints?” He nodded. “There was a time when all Grisha children were given this book when they came to school at the Little Palace.”

 

“Thank you,” I said, perplexed. “Peasants love their Saints. They hunger for the miraculous. And yet they do not love the Grisha. Why do you think that is?” “I hadn’t thought about it,” I said. I opened the book. Someone had written my name inside the cover. I flipped a few pages. Sankt Petyr of Brevno. Sankt Ilya in Chains. Sankta Lizabeta. Each chapter began with a full-page illustration, beautifully rendered in brightly colored inks. “I think it is because the Grisha do not suffer the way the Saints suffer, the way the people suffer.” “Maybe,” I said absently. “But you have suffered, haven’t you, Allessa Staleen? And I think … yes. I think you will suffer more.” My head jerked up. I thought he might be threatening me, but his eyes were full of a strange sympathy that was even more terrifying. I glanced back down at the book in my lap. My finger had stopped on an illustration of Sankta Lizabeta as she had died, drawn and quartered in a field of roses. Her blood made a river through the petals. I snapped the book closed and sprang to my feet. “I should go.”

 

The Apparat rose, and for a moment I thought he would try to stop me. “You do not like your gift.”

 

“No, no. It’s very nice. Thank you. I don’t want to be late,” I babbled. I bolted past him through the library doors, and I didn’t take an easy breath until I was back in my room. I tossed the book of Saints into the bottom drawer of my dressing table and slammed it shut. What did the Apparat want from me? Had his words been meant as a threat? Or as some kind of warning?  ~~Was he just a psychopath numbskull!??!~~ I took a deep breath, a tide of fatigue and confusion washing over me. I missed the easy rhythm of the Documents Tent, the comforting monotony of my life as a cartographer, when nothing more was expected of me than a few drawings and a tidy worktable. I missed the familiar smell of inks and paper. Mostly, I missed Mal.

  
I’d written to him every week, care of our regiment, but I hadn’t heard anything back. I knew the post could be unreliable and that his unit might have moved on from the Fold or might even be in West Ravka, but I still hoped that I would hear from him soon. I’d given up on the idea of him visiting me at the Little Palace. As much as I missed him, I couldn’t bear the thought of him knowing that I fit into my new life about as well as I’d fit into my old one. Every night, as I climbed the stairs to my room after another pointless, painful day, I would imagine the letter that might be waiting for me on my dressing table, and my steps would quicken. But the days passed, and no letter came. Today was no different. I ran my hand over the empty surface of the table. “Where are you, Mal?” I whispered. But there was no one there to answer. If only I could figure out what happened to Alina.


	12. Eleven

When I thought  things couldn’t get any worse, they did. I was sitting at breakfast in the domed hall when the main doors blew open and a group of unfamiliar Grisha entered. I didn’t pay them much attention. Grisha in the Darkling’s service were always coming and going at the Little Palace, sometimes to recover from injuries received at the northern or southern front, sometimes on leave from other assignments. Then Nadia gasped. “Oh no,” groaned Marie. I looked up and my stomach lurched as I recognized the raven-haired girl who had found Mal so fascinating back in Kribirsk. “Who is she?” I whispered, watching the girl glide among the other Grisha, saying her hellos, her high laugh echoing off the golden dome.

“Zoya,” muttered Marie. “She was a year ahead of us at school and she’s horrible.”

 

“Thinks she’s better than everyone,” added Nadia. I raised my eyebrows. If Zoya’s sin was snobbery, then Marie and Nadia had no business making judgments. Marie sighed. “The worst part is that she’s kind of right. She’s an incredibly powerful Squaller, a great fighter, and look at her.” I took in the silver embroidery on Zoya’s cuffs, the glossy perfection of her black hair, the big blue eyes fringed by impossibly dark lashes. She was almost as beautiful as Genya. I thought of Mal and felt a pang of pure jealousy shoot through me. But then I realized that Zoya had been stationed at the Fold. If she and Mal had … well, she might know if he was there, if he was all right. I pushed my plate away. The prospect of asking Zoya about Mal made me a little nauseated. As if she could feel my stare, Zoya turned from where she was chatting with some awestruck Corporalki and swept over to the Summoners’ table. “Marie! Nadia! How are you?” They stood to hug her, their faces plastered with huge, fake smiles. “You look amazing, Zoya! How are you?” gushed Marie. “We missed you so much!” squealed Nadia.

 

“I missed you, too,” Zoya said. “It’s so good to be back at the Little Palace. You can’t imagine how busy the Darkling’s kept me. But I’m being rude. I don’t think I’ve met your friend.” “Oh!” Marie exclaimed. “I’m so sorry. This is Allessa Staleen. The Sun Summoner,” she said with a little pride. I stood up awkwardly. Zoya swept me into an embrace. “It’s such an honor to finally meet the Sun Summoner,” she said loudly. But as she hugged me she whispered, “You stink of Keramzin.” I noticed her gaze wash over my black kefta and the hatred in her eyes.  **~~Someone was jelly!~~ ** I stiffened. She released me, a smile playing on her perfect lips. “I’ll see you all later,” she said with a little wave. “I’m frantic for a bath.” And with that she sailed from the domed hall and through the double doors to the dormitories. I stood there, stunned, my cheeks blazing. I felt like everyone must be gaping at me, but no one else seemed to have heard what Zoya said.

 

Her words stayed with me the rest of the day, through another botched lesson with Baghra and an interminable lunch during which Zoya held forth on the journey from Kribirsk, the state of the towns bordering the Fold, and the exquisite lubok woodcuts she’d seen in one of the peasant villages. It might have been my imagination, but it seemed like every time she said “peasant” she looked directly at me. As she spoke, light glinted off the heavy silver bracelet gleaming at her wrist. It was studded with what looked like pieces of bone. An amplifier, I realized. Things went from bad to dreadful when Zoya showed up at our combat lesson. Botkin hugged her, kissed both of her cheeks, and then proceeded to chatter back and forth with her in Shu. Was there anything this girl couldn’t do?

 

She’d brought along her friend with the chestnut curls, whom I remembered from the Grisha tent. They proceeded to giggle and whisper as I stumbled through the drills with which Botkin began every class. When we separated to spar, I wasn’t even surprised when Botkin paired me with Zoya. “Is star pupil,” he said, grinning proudly. “Will help little girl.” “Surely the Sun Summoner doesn’t need my help,” Zoya said with a smug smile. Again the glance at my black training clothes standing out in the sea of red and blue clothes. I watched her warily. I wasn’t sure why this girl hated me so much, but I’d had just about enough for one day. We took our fighting stances, and Botkin gave the signal to start. I actually managed to block Zoya’s first jab, but not the second. It caught me hard on the jaw and my head snapped back. I tried to shake it off. She danced forward and aimed a punch at my ribs. But some of Botkin’s training must have sunk in over the last few weeks. I dodged right and the blow glanced off me.

 

She flexed her shoulders and circled. Out of the corner of my eye, I could see that the other Summoners had left off sparring and were watching us. I shouldn’t have let myself get distracted. I took Zoya’s next punch hard to the gut. As I gasped for breath, she followed with an elbow. I managed to avoid it more by luck than skill.

She pressed her advantage and lunged forward. That was her mistake. I was weak and I was slow, but Botkin had taught me to make use of my opponent’s strength.

I stepped to the side, and as she came in close, I hooked my leg around her ankle. Zoya went down hard.

 

The other Summoners broke into applause. But before I had a chance to even register my victory, Zoya sat up, her expression furious, her arm slashing through the air. I felt myself lifted off my feet as I sailed backward through the air and slammed into the training room’s wooden wall. I heard something crack, and all the breath went out of my body as I slid to the ground. “Zoya!” Botkin roared. “You do not use power. Not in these rooms. Never in these rooms!” Dimly, I was aware of the other Summoners gathering around me, of Botkin calling for a Healer.

 

“I’m fine,” I tried to say, but I couldn’t gather enough breath. I lay in the dirt, panting shallowly. Every time I tried to breathe, pain tore through my left side. A group of servants arrived, but when they lifted me onto the stretcher, I fainted.

 

Marie and Nadia told me the rest when they came to visit me in the infirmary. A Healer had slowed my heart rate until I fell into a deep sleep, then mended my broken rib and the bruises Zoya had left on me. “Botkin was furious!” Marie exclaimed. “I’ve never seen him so angry. He threw Zoya out of the training rooms. I thought he might hit her himself.” “Ivo says he saw Ivan take her through the domed hall to the Darkling’s council rooms, and when she came out, she was crying.” Good, I thought with satisfaction. But when I thought of myself lying in a heap in the dirt, I felt a burning wave of embarrassment. “Why did she do it?” I asked as I tried to sit up. I’d had plenty of people ignore me or look down on me. But Zoya actually seemed to hate me.

Marie and Nadia gaped at me as if I’d taken a crack to the skull instead of the ribs.

“Because she’s jealous!” said Nadia. “Of me?” I said incredulously. Marie rolled her eyes. “She can’t bear the idea of anyone being the Darkling’s favorite.”

 

I laughed and then winced at the stab of pain in my side. “I’m hardly his favorite.”

“Of course you are. Zoya’s powerful, but she’s just another Squaller. You’re the Sun Summoner.” Nadia’s cheeks flushed when she said this, and I knew I wasn’t imagining the tinge of envy in her voice. Just how deep did that envy go? Marie and Nadia talked like they hated Zoya, but they smiled to her face. What do they say about me when I’m not around? I wondered. “Maybe he’ll demote her!” squealed Marie. “Maybe he’ll send her to Tsibeya!” crowed Nadia. A Healer appeared from the shadows to shush them and send them on their way. They promised to visit again the next day.

 

I must have fallen back asleep because, when I woke a few hours later, the infirmary was dark. The room was eerily quiet, the other beds unoccupied, the only sound the soft ticking of a clock. I pushed myself up. I still felt a little sore, but it was hard to believe that I’d had a broken rib just a few hours before. My mouth was dry, and I had the beginning of a headache. I dragged myself out of bed and poured a glass of water from the pitcher at my bedside. Then I pushed open the window and took a deep breath of night air. “Allessa Staleen.” I jumped and whirled. “Who’s there?” I gasped. The Apparat emerged from the long shadows by the door.

 

“Did I startle you?” he asked. “A bit,” I admitted. How long had he been standing there? Had he been watching me sleep? He seemed to glide silently across the room toward me, his ragged robes slithering over the infirmary floor. I took an involuntary step backward. “I was very sorry to hear of your injury,” he said. “The Darkling should be more watchful of his charges.” “I’m fine.” “Are you?” he said, regarding me in the moonlight. “You do not look well, Alina Starkov. It’s essential that you stay well.” “I’m just a little tired.” He stepped closer. His peculiar smell wafted over me, that strange mix of incense and mildew, and the scent of turned earth. I thought of the graveyard at Keramzin, the crooked headstones, the peasant women keening over new graves. I was suddenly very aware of the emptiness of the infirmary. Was the Corporalki Healer still nearby? Or had he gone somewhere to find a glass of kvas and a warm bed?

 

“Did you know that in some of the border villages, they are making altars to you?” murmured the Apparat. “What?” “Oh yes. The people are hungry for hope, and the icon painters are doing a booming business thanks to you.” “But I’m not a Saint!”

 

“It is a blessing, Allessa Staleen. A benediction.” He stepped even closer to me. I could see the dark and matted hairs of his beard, the stained jumble of his teeth. “You are becoming dangerous, and you will become more dangerous still.” “Me?” I whispered. “To whom?” “There is something more powerful than any army. Something strong enough to topple kings, and even Darklings. Do you know what that thing is?”

I shook my head, inching away from him. “Faith,” he breathed, his black eyes wild. “Faith.” He reached for me. I groped toward my bedside table and knocked the glass of water to the floor. It shattered loudly. Hurried footsteps pounded down the hall toward us. The Apparat stepped back, melting into the shadows. The door burst open and a Healer entered, his red kefta flapping behind him. “Are you all right?”

I opened my mouth, unsure of what to say. But the Apparat had already slid soundlessly out the door.

 

“I … I’m sorry. I broke a glass.” The Healer called a servant to clean up the mess. He settled me back into bed and suggested that I try to rest. But as soon as he was gone, I sat up and lit the lamp by my bed. My hands were shaking. I wanted to dismiss the Apparat’s ramblings as nonsense, but I couldn’t. Not if people were really praying to the Sun Summoner, not if they were expecting me to save them. I remembered the Darkling’s dire words beneath the broken roof of the barn. The age of Grisha power is coming to an end. I thought of the volcra, of the lives being lost on the Shadow Fold. A divided Ravka won’t survive the new age. I wasn’t just failing the Darkling or Baghra or myself. I was failing all of Ravka. When Genya came by the next morning, I told her about the Apparat’s visit, but she didn’t seem concerned by what he’d said or his strange behavior. “He’s creepy,” she admitted. “But harmless.” “He is not harmless. You should have seen him. He looked completely mad.”

 

“He’s just a priest.” “But why was he even here?” Genya shrugged. “Maybe the King asked him to pray for you.” “I’m not staying here again tonight. I want to sleep in my room. With a door that locks.” Genya sniffed and looked around the spare infirmary. “Well, that, at least, I can agree with. I wouldn’t want to stay here either.” Then she peered at me. “You look dreadful,” she said with her usual tact. “Why don’t you let me fix you up a bit?” “No.” “Just let me get rid of the dark circles.” “No!” I said stubbornly. “But I do need a favor.” “Should I get my kit?” she asked eagerly. I scowled at her. “Not that kind of favor. A friend of mine was injured on the Fold. I … I’ve written to him, but I’m not sure my letters are getting through.” I felt my cheeks flush and hurried on. “Could you find out if he’s okay and where he’s been stationed? I don’t know who else to ask, and since you’re always at the Grand Palace, I thought you might be able to help.” “Of course, but … well, have you been checking the casualty lists?” I nodded, a lump in my throat. Genya left to find paper and pen so I could write down Mal’s name for her. I sighed and rubbed my eyes. I didn’t know what to make of Mal’s silence. I checked the casualty lists every single week, my heart pounding, my stomach in knots, terrified that I would see his name. And each week, I gave thanks to all the Saints that Mal was safe and alive, even if he couldn’t be bothered to write.

 

Was that the truth of it? My heart gave a painful twist. Maybe Mal was glad I was gone, glad to be free of old friendships and obligations. Or maybe he’s lying in a hospital bed somewhere and you’re being a petty little brat, I chided myself. Genya returned, and I wrote out Mal’s name, regiment, and unit number. She folded the paper and slipped it into the sleeve of her kefta. “Thanks,” I said hoarsely. “I’m sure he’s fine,” she said, and gave my hand a gentle squeeze. “Now lie back so I can fix those dark circles.” “Genya!” “Lie back or you can forget about your little favor.”

 

My jaw dropped. “You are rotten.” “I am marvelous.” I glared at her, then flopped back against the pillows. After Genya left, I made arrangements to return to my own quarters. The Healer wasn’t happy about it, but I insisted. I was barely even sore anymore, and there was no way I was spending another night in that empty infirmary.

When I got back to my room, I took a bath and tried to read one of my theory books. I couldn’t concentrate. I was dreading returning to my classes the next day, dreading another futile lesson with Baghra. The stares and gossip about me had died down a bit since I arrived at the Little Palace. But I had no doubt that my fight with Zoya would bring that all back. As I rose and stretched, I caught a glimpse of myself in the mirror above my dressing table. I crossed the room and scrutinized my face in the glass.

  
The dark shadows beneath my eyes were gone, but I knew they would be back in a few days. And it made little difference. I looked the way I always had: tired, scrawny, innocent. Nothing like a real Grisha. The power was there, somewhere inside me, but I couldn’t reach it, and I didn’t know why. Why was I different? Why had it taken so long for my power to reveal itself? And why couldn’t I access it on my own? Reflected in the mirror I could see the thick golden curtains at the windows, the brilliantly painted walls, the firelight glittering off the tiles in the grate. Zoya was awful, but she was also right. I didn’t belong in this beautiful world, and if I didn’t find a way to use my power, I never would.


	13. Twelve

The next morning wasn’t as bad as I’d expected. Zoya was already in the domed hall when I entered. She sat by herself at the end of the Summoners’ table, eating her breakfast in silence. She didn’t look up as Marie and Nadia called their greetings to me, and I did my best to ignore her, too. I savored every step of my walk down to the lake. The sun was bright, the air cold on my cheeks, and I wasn’t looking forward to the stuffy, windowless confines of Baghra’s hut. But when I climbed the steps to her door, I heard raised voices. I hesitated and then knocked softly. The voices quieted abruptly, and after a moment, I pushed the door open and peeked inside. The Darkling was standing by Baghra’s tile oven, his face furious. “Sorry,” I said, and began to back out the door. But Baghra just snapped, “In, girl. Don’t let the heat out.”

 

When I entered and shut the door, the Darkling gave me a small bow. “How are you, Allessa?” “I’m fine,” I managed.  ~~God you are sooo attractive. I am never fine when you’re around.~~ “She’s fine!” hooted Baghra. “She’s fine! She cannot light a hallway, but she’s fine.” I winced and wished I could disappear into my boots. To my surprise, the Darkling said, “Leave her be.” Baghra’s eyes narrowed. “You’d like that, wouldn’t you?” The Darkling sighed and ran his hands through his dark hair in exasperation. When he looked at me, there was a rueful smile on his lips, and his hair was going every which way. “Baghra has her own way of doing things,” he said.

“Don’t patronize me, boy!” Her voice cracked out like a whip. To my amazement, I saw the Darkling stand up straighter and then scowl as if he’d caught himself.

 

“Don’t chide me, old woman,” he said in a low, dangerous voice. Angry energy crackled through the room. What had I walked into? I was thinking about slipping out the door and leaving them to finish whatever argument I’d interrupted when Baghra’s voice lashed out again. “The boy thinks to get you an amplifier,” she said. “What do you think of that, girl?”

 

It was so strange to hear the Darkling called “boy” that it took me a moment to understand her meaning. But when I did, hope and relief rushed through me. An amplifier! Why hadn’t I thought of it before? Why hadn’t they thought of it before? Baghra and the Darkling were able to help me call my power because they were living amplifiers, so why not an amplifier of my own like Ivan’s bear claws or the seal tooth I’d seen hanging around Marie’s neck? “I think it’s brilliant!” I exclaimed more loudly than I’d intended. Baghra made a disgusted sound. The Darkling gave her a sharp glance, but then he turned to me. “Alina, have you ever heard of Morozova’s herd?”

 

“Of course she has. She’s also heard of unicorns and the Shu Han dragons,” Baghra said mockingly. An angry look passed over the Darkling’s features, but then he seemed to master himself. “May I have a word with you, Allessa?” he inquired politely.

“Of … of course,” I stammered. Baghra snorted again, but the Darkling ignored her and took me by the elbow to lead me out of the cottage, shutting the door firmly behind us. When we had walked a short distance down the path, he heaved a huge sigh and ran his hands through his hair again. “That woman,” he muttered. It was hard not to laugh. “What?” he said warily.

 

“I’ve just never seen you so …  ~~cute~~ ruffled.” “Baghra has that effect on people.” “Was she your teacher, too?” A shadow crossed his face. “Yes,” he said. “So what do you know about Morozova’s herd?” I bit my lip. “Just, well, you know …” He sighed. “Just children’s stories?” I shrugged apologetically. “It’s all right,” he said. “What do you remember from the stories?” I thought back, remembering Ana Kuya’s voice in the dormitories late at night. “They were white deer, magical creatures that appeared only at twilight.” “They’re no more magical than we are. But they are ancient and very powerful.” “They’re real?” I asked incredulously. I didn’t mention that I certainly hadn’t been feeling very magical or powerful lately.

 

“I think so.” “But Baghra doesn’t.”

 

“She usually finds my ideas ridiculous. What else do you remember?” “Well,” I said with a laugh. “In Ana Kuya’s stories, they could talk, and if a hunter captured them and spared their lives, they granted wishes.” He laughed then. It was the first time I’d ever heard his laugh, a lovely dark sound that rippled through the air. “Well, that part definitely isn’t true.” “But the rest is?” “Kings and Darklings have been searching for Morozova’s herd for centuries. My hunters claim they’ve seen signs of them, though they’ve never seen the creatures themselves.” “And you believe them?” His slate-colored gaze was cool and steady. “My men don’t lie to me.” I felt a chill skitter up my spine. Knowing what the Darkling could do, I wouldn’t be keen on lying to him either. “All right,” I said uneasily.

 

“If Morozova’s stag can be taken, its antlers can be made into an amplifier.” He reached out and tapped my collarbone—even that brief contact was enough to send a jolt of surety through me  ~~and lust~~ ~~.~~ “A necklace?” I asked, trying to picture it, still feeling the tap of his fingers at the base of my throat. He nodded. “The most powerful amplifier ever known.” My jaw dropped. “And you want to give it to me?” He nodded again. “Wouldn’t it just be easier for me to get a claw or a fang or, I don’t know, pretty much anything else?” He shook his head. “If we have any hope of destroying the Fold, we need the stag’s power.” “But maybe if I had one to practice with—” “You know it doesn’t work that way.” “I do?” He frowned. “Haven’t you been reading your theory?”

 

I gave him a look and said, “There’s a lot of theory.” He surprised me by smiling. “I forget that you’re new to this.” “Well, I don’t,” I muttered. “Is it that bad?” To my embarrassment, I felt a lump well up in my throat. I swallowed it down. “Baghra must have told you I can’t summon a single sunbeam on my own.” “It will happen, Allessa. I’m not worried.” “You’re not?” “No. And even if I were, once we have the stag, it won’t matter.” I felt a surge of frustration. If an amplifier could make it possible for me to be a real Grisha, then I didn’t want to wait for some mythical antler. I wanted a real one. Now. “If no one’s found Morozova’s herd in all this time, what makes you think you’ll find it now?” I asked. “Because this was meant to be. The stag was meant for you, Allessa. I can feel it.” He looked at me. His hair was still a mess, and in the bright morning sunlight, he looked more handsome and more human than I’d ever seen him. “I guess I’m asking you to trust me,” he said. What was I supposed to say? I didn’t really have a choice. If the Darkling wanted me to be patient, I would have to be patient.  ~~I would do anything for you~~ “Okay,” I said finally. “But hurry it up.”

 

He laughed again, and I felt a pleased flush creep up my cheeks. Then his expression became serious. “I’ve been waiting for you a long time, Allessa,” he said. Internally I melted. “You and I are going to change the world.” I laughed nervously. “I’m not the world-changing type.” “Just wait,” he said softly, and when he looked at me with those gray quartz eyes, my heart gave a little thump. I thought he was going to say something more, but abruptly he stepped back, a troubled look on his face. “Good luck with your lessons,” he said. He gave me a short bow and turned on his heel to walk up the path to the lakeshore. But he’d only gone a few steps before he turned back to me. “Allessa,” he said. “About the stag?” “Yes?”

 

“Please keep it to yourself. Most people think it’s just a children’s story, and I’d hate to look a fool.” “I won’t say anything,” I promised. He nodded once and, without another word, strode away. I stared after him. I felt a little dazed, and I wasn’t sure why.

 

When I looked up, Baghra was standing on the porch of her cottage, watching me. For no reason at all, I blushed. “Hmph,” she snorted, and then she turned her back on me, too.

 

After my conversation with the Darkling, I took my first opportunity to visit the library. There was no mention of the stag in any of my theory books, but I did find a reference to Ilya Morozova, one of the first and most powerful Grisha. There was also plenty about amplifiers. The books were very clear on the fact that a Grisha could have only one amplifier in his or her lifetime and that once a Grisha owned an amplifier, it could be possessed by no one else: “The Grisha claims the amplifier, but the amplifier claims the Grisha, as well. Once it is done, there can be no other. Like calls to like, and the bond is made.”

 

The reason for this wasn’t entirely clear to me, but it seemed to have something to do with a check on Grisha power. “The horse has speed. The bear has strength. The bird has wings. No creature has all of these gifts, and so the world is held in balance. Amplifiers are part of this balance, not a means of subverting it, and each Grisha would do well to remember this or risk the consequences.” Another philosopher wrote, “Why can a Grisha possess but one amplifier? I will answer this question instead: What is infinite? The universe and the greed of men.” Sitting beneath the library’s glass dome, I thought of the Black Heretic. The Darkling had said that the Shadow Fold was the result of his ancestor’s greed. Was that what the philosophers meant by consequences? For the first time, it occurred to me that the Fold was the one place where the Darkling was helpless, where his powers meant nothing. The Black Heretic’s descendants had suffered for his ambition. Still, I couldn’t help but think that it was Ravka that had been made to pay in blood.

 

Fall turned to winter, and cold winds stripped the branches in the palace gardens bare. Our table was still laden with fresh fruit and flowers furnished from the Grisha hothouses, where they made their own weather. But even juicy plums and purple grapes did little to improve my appetite. Somehow I’d thought that my conversation with the Darkling might change something in me. I wanted to believe the things he’d said, and standing by the lakeshore, I almost had. But nothing changed. I still couldn’t summon without Baghra’s help. I still wasn’t truly a Grisha. All the same, I felt a bit less miserable about it. The Darkling had asked me to trust him, and if he believed that the stag was the answer, then all I could do was hope he was right. I still avoided practicing with the other Summoners, but I let Marie and Nadia drag me to the banya a couple of times and to one of the ballets at the Grand Palace. I even let Genya put a little color in my cheeks.

 

My new attitude infuriated Baghra. “You’re not even trying anymore!” she shouted. “You’re waiting for some magical deer to come save you? For your pretty necklace? You might as well wait for a unicorn to put its head in your lap, you stupid thing.”

When she started railing at me, I just shrugged. She was right. I was tired of trying and failing. I wasn’t like the other Grisha, and it was time I accepted that. Besides, some rebellious part of me enjoyed driving her into a tizzy. I didn’t know what punishment Zoya had received, but she continued to ignore me. She’d been barred from the training rooms, and I’d heard she would be returning to Kribirsk after the winter fete. Occasionally, I caught her glaring at me or giggling behind her hand with her little group of Summoner friends, but I tried not to let it get to me.

 

Still, I couldn’t shake the sense of my own failure. When the first snow came, I woke to find a new kefta waiting for me on my door. It was made of heavy midnight blue wool and had a hood lined in thick golden fur. I put it on, but it was hard not to feel like a fraud. After picking at my breakfast, I made the familiar walk to Baghra’s cottage. The gravel paths, cleared of snow by Inferni, sparkled beneath the weak winter sun. I was almost all the way to the lake when a servant caught up with me. She handed me a folded piece of paper and bobbed a curtsy before scurrying back up the path. I recognized Genya’s handwriting.  **Malyen Oretsev’s unit has been stationed at the Chernast outpost in northern Tsibeya for six weeks. He is listed as healthy. You can write to him care of his regiment. The Kerch ambassadors are showering the Queen with gifts. Oysters and sandpipers packed in dry ice (vile) and almond candies! I’ll bring some by tonight.—G**

 

Mal was in Tsibeya. He was safe, alive, far from the fighting, probably hunting winter game. I should be grateful. I should be glad. You can write to him care of his regiment. I’d been writing to him care of his regiment for months. I thought of the last letter I’d sent. Dear Mal, I’d written. I haven’t heard from you, so I assume you’ve met and married a volcra and that you’re living comfortably on the Shadow Fold, where you have neither light nor paper with which to write. Or, possibly, your new bride ate both your hands. I’d filled the letter with descriptions of Botkin, the Queen’s snuffling dog, and the Grisha’s curious fascination with peasant customs. I’d told him about beautiful Genya and the pavilions by the lake and the marvelous glass dome in the library. I’d told him about mysterious Baghra and the orchids in the hothouse and the birds painted above my bed. But I hadn’t told him about Morozova’s stag or the fact that I was such a disaster as a Grisha or that I still missed him every single day.

 

When I was done, I’d hesitated and then hastily scrawled at the bottom, I don’t know if you got my other letters. This place is more beautiful than I can describe, but I would trade it all to spend an afternoon skipping stones with you at Trivka’s pond. Please write.

 

But he had gotten my letters. What had he done with all of them? Had he even bothered to open them? Had he sighed with embarrassment when the fifth and the sixth and the seventh arrived? I cringed. Please write, Mal. Please don’t forget me, Mal. I need you now that Alina is gone. Pathetic, I thought, brushing angry tears away. I stared out at the lake. It was starting to freeze. I thought of the creek that ran through Duke Keramsov’s estate. Every winter, Mal and I had waited for that creek to freeze so we could skate on it. I crumpled Genya’s note in my fist. I didn’t want to think about Mal anymore. I wished I could blot out every memory of Keramzin. Mostly I wished I could run back to my room and have a good cry. But I couldn’t. I had to spend another pointless, miserable morning with Baghra. I took my time making my way down the lake path, then stomped up the steps to Baghra’s hut and banged open the door. As usual, she was sitting by the fire, warming her bony body by the flames. I plunked myself down in the chair opposite her and waited.

 

Baghra let out a short bark of laughter. “So you’re angry today, girl? What do you have to be angry about? Are you sick of waiting for your magical white deer?” I crossed my arms and said nothing. “Speak up, girl.” On any other day, I would have lied, told her I was fine, said that I was tired. But I guess I’d reached my breaking point, because I snapped. “I’m sick of all of this,” I said angrily. “I’m sick of eating rye and herring for breakfast. I’m sick of wearing this stupid kefta. I’m sick of being pummeled by Botkin, and I’m sick of you.” I thought she would be furious, but instead she just peered at me. With her head cocked to one side and her eyes glittering black in the firelight, she looked like a very mean sparrow. “No,” she said slowly. “No. It’s not that. There’s something else. What is it? Is the poor little girl homesick?” I snorted. “Homesick for what?” “You tell me, girl. What’s so bad about your life here? New clothes, a soft bed, hot food at every meal, the chance to be the Darkling’s pet.”

 

“I’m not his pet.” “But you want to be,” she jeered. “Don’t bother lying to me. You’re like all the rest. I saw the way you looked at him.” My cheeks burned,  ~~She was right~~ ~~,~~ and I thought about hitting Bahgra over the head with her own stick. “A thousand girls would sell their own mothers to be in your shoes, and yet here you are, miserable and sulking like a child. So tell me, girl. What is your sad little heart pining for?” She was right, of course. I knew very well that I was homesick for my best friend. But I wasn’t about to tell her that. I stood up, knocking my chair back with a clatter. “This is a waste of time.” “Is it? What else do you have to do with your days? Make maps? Fetch inks for some old cartographer?” “There’s nothing wrong with being a mapmaker.” “Of course not. And there’s nothing wrong with being a lizard either. Unless you were born to be a hawk.” “I’ve had enough of this,” I snarled, and turned my back on her. I was close to tears and I refused to cry in front of this spiteful old woman.

 

“Where are you going?” she called after me, her voice mocking. “What’s waiting for you out there?” “Nothing!” I shouted at her. “No one!” As soon as I said it, the truth of the words hit me so hard that it left me breathless. gripped the door handle, feeling suddenly dizzy. In that moment, the memory of the Grisha Examiners came rushing back to me. I am in the sitting room at Keramzin. A fire is burning in the grate. The heavyset man in blue has hold of me and he is pulling me away from Mal. I feel Mal’s fingers slip as his hand is torn from mine. The young man in purple picks Mal up and drags him into the library, slamming the door behind him. I kick and thrash. I can hear Mal shouting my name. The other man holds me. The woman in red slides her hand around my wrist. I feel a sudden rush of pure certainty wash over me. I stop struggling. A call rings through me. Something within me rises up to answer.

 

I can’t breathe. It’s like I’m kicking up from the bottom of a lake, about to break the surface, my lungs aching for air. The woman in red watches me closely, her eyes narrowed.

 

I hear Mal’s voice through the library door. Allessa, Allessa. I know then. I know that we are different from one another. Terribly, irrevocably different. Allessa. Allessa! I make my choice. I grab hold of the thing inside me and push it back down. “Mal!” I shout, and begin to struggle once more. The woman in red tries to keep hold of my wrist, but I wriggle and wail until finally she lets me go. I leaned against the door to Baghra’s hut, trembling. The woman in red had been an amplifier. That was why the Darkling’s call had felt familiar. But somehow I’d managed to resist her. At last, I understood. Before Mal, Keramzin had been a place of terrors, long nights spent crying in the dark, older children who ignored me, cold and empty rooms. But then Mal arrived and all of that changed. The dark hallways became places to hide and play. The lonely woods became places to explore. Keramzin became our palace, our kingdom, and I wasn’t afraid anymore.

 

But the Grisha Examiners would have taken me from Keramzin. They would have taken me away from Mal, and he had been the only good thing in my world. So I’d made my choice. I’d pushed my power down and held it there each day, with all my energy and will, without ever realizing it. I’d used up every bit of myself to keep that secret. I remembered standing at the window with Mal, watching the Grisha depart in their troika, how tired I’d felt. The next morning, I’d woken to find dark circles beneath my eyes. They’d been with me ever since. And now? I asked myself, pressing my forehead against the cool wood of the door, my whole body shaking. Now Mal had left me behind. And Alina was gone. The only two people in the world who truly knew me had decided I wasn’t worth the effort of a few words and dead. But I was holding on still. Despite all the luxuries of the Little Palace, despite my newfound powers, despite Mal’s silence, I held on. Baghra was right. I’d thought I was making such an effort, but deep down, some part of me just wanted to go home to Mal. Some part of me hoped that this had all been a mistake, that the Darkling would realize his error and send me back to the regiment, that Mal would realize how much he’d missed me, that we’d grow old together in our meadow. Mal had moved on, but I was still standing frightened before those three mysterious figures, holding tight to his hand.

 

It was time to let go. That day on the Shadow Fold, Mal had saved my life, and I had saved his. Maybe that was meant to be the end of us. The thought filled me with grief, grief for the dreams we’d shared, for the love I’d felt, for the hopeful girl I would never be again. That grief flooded through me, dissolving a knot that I hadn’t even known was there. I closed my eyes, feeling tears slide down my cheeks, and I reached out to the thing within me that I’d kept hidden for so long. I’m sorry, I whispered to it.

I’m sorry I left you so long in the dark. I’m sorry, but I’m ready now. I called and the light answered. I felt it rushing toward me from every direction, skimming over the lake, skittering over the golden domes of the Little Palace, under the door and through the walls of Baghra’s cottage. I felt it everywhere. I opened my hands and the light bloomed right through me, filling the room, illuminating the stone walls, the old tile oven, and every angle of Baghra’s strange face. Bouncing off the gold on my black kefta. It surrounded me, blazing with heat, more powerful and more pure than ever before because it was all mine. I wanted to laugh, to sing, to shout. At last, there was something that belonged wholly and completely to me. “Good,” said Baghra, squinting in the sunlight. “Now we work.”


	14. Thirteen

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> So, yeah the beginning of the end of the original scripting. Yay? And Alina might be showing back up soon!!! YAY! Maybe.

          That very afternoon, I joined the other Etherealki by the lake and called my power for them for the first time. I sent a sheet of light shimmering out over the water, letting it roll over the waves that Ivo had summoned. I didn’t have the others’ control yet, but I managed. In fact, it was easy. Suddenly, lots of things seemed easy. I wasn’t tired all the time or winded when I climbed the stairs. I slept deeply and dreamlessly every night and woke refreshed. Food was a revelation: bowls of porridge heaped with sugar and cream, plates of skate fried in butter, fat plums and hothouse peaches, the clear and bitter taste of kvas. It was as if that moment in Baghra’s cottage was my first full breath and I had awakened into a new life.

 

      Since none of the other Grisha knew that I’d had so much trouble summoning, they were all a little baffled by the change in me. I didn’t offer any explanations, and Genya let me in on some of the more hilarious rumors. “Marie and Ivo were speculating that the Fjerdans had infected you with some disease.” “I thought Grisha didn’t get sick.” “Exactly!” she said. “That’s why it was so very sinister. But apparently the Darkling cured you by feeding you his own blood and an extract of diamonds.” “That’s disgusting,” I said, laughing. “Oh that’s nothing. Zoya actually tried to put it around that you were possessed.” I laughed even harder.

 

      My lessons with Baghra were still difficult and I never actually enjoyed them. But I did relish any chance to use my power, and I felt like I was making progress. At first, I’d been frightened every time I got ready to call the light, afraid that it just wouldn’t be there and I’d be back to where I started. “It isn’t something separate from you,” Baghra snapped. “It isn’t an animal that shies away from you or chooses whether or not to come when you call it. Do you ask your heart to beat or your lungs to breathe? Your power serves you because that is its purpose, because it cannot help but serve you.” Sometimes I felt like there was a shadow in Baghra’s words, a second meaning she wanted me to understand. But the work I was doing was hard enough without guessing at the secrets of a bitter old woman. She drove me hard, pushing me to expand my reach and my control. She taught me to focus my power in short bright bursts, piercing beams that burned with heat, and long sustained cascades. She forced me to call the light again, and again, and again, until I barely had to reach for it. She made me trek to her cottage at night to practice when it was nearly impossible for me to find any light to summon. When I finally, proudly produced a weak thread of sunlight, she slammed her cane down on the ground and shouted, “Not good enough!”

 

        “I’m doing my best,” I muttered in exasperation. “Pah!” she spat. “Do you think the world cares if you do your best? Do it again and do it right.” My lessons with Botkin were the real surprise. As a little girl, I had run and played with Mal and Alina in the woods and fields, but I’d never been able to keep up with Alina, and never with Mal. I’d always been too sickly and frail, too easy to tire, even more so than Alina was. But as I ate and slept regularly for the first time in my life, all of that changed. Botkin put me through brutal combat drills and seemingly endless runs through the palace grounds, but I found myself enjoying some of the challenges. I liked learning what this new, stronger body could do. I doubted I’d ever be able to outspar the old mercenary, but the Fabrikators had helped even the field. They’d produced a pair of fingerless leather gloves for me that were lined with little mirrors—the mysterious glass discs David had shown me on that first day in the workshops. With a flick of the wrist, I could slide a mirror between my fingers and, with Botkin’s permission, I practiced bouncing flashes of light off them and into my opponent’s eyes. I worked with them until they felt almost natural in my hands, like extensions of my own fingers. Botkin was still gruff and critical, and took every opportunity to call me useless, but once in a while I thought I glimpsed a hint of approval on his weathered features.

    Late in winter, he took me aside after a long lesson in which I’d actually managed to land a blow to his ribs (and been thanked for it with a hard cuff across my jaw). “Here,” he said, handing me a heavy knife in a steel and leather sheath. “Always keep with you.” With a jolt, I saw that it was no ordinary knife. It was Grisha steel. “Thank you,” I managed. “Not ‘thank you,’” he said. He tapped the ugly scar at his throat. “Steel is earned.” Winter looked different to me than it ever had before. I spent sunny afternoons skating on the lake or sledding on the palace grounds with the other Summoners. Snowy evenings were spent in the domed hall, gathered around the tile ovens, drinking kvas and gorging ourselves on sweets. We celebrated the feast of Sankt Nikolai with huge bowls of dumpling soup and kutya made with honey and poppy seeds. Some of the other Grisha left the palace to go on sleigh rides and dogsledding excursions in the snow-blanketed countryside surrounding Os Alta, but for security reasons, I was still confined to the palace grounds.

 

I didn’t mind. I felt more comfortable with the Summoners now, but I doubted I’d ever really enjoy being around Marie and Nadia. I was much happier sitting in my room with Genya, drinking tea and gossiping by the fire. I loved to hear all the court gossip, and even better were the tales of the opulent parties at the Grand Palace. My favorite was the story of the massive pie that a count had presented to the King, and the dwarf who had burst out of it to hand the tsaritsa a bouquet of forget-me-nots. Genya even let me return to my natural chocolate brown locks, yet insisted there be streaks of gold. I agreed as my mood was too high to not agree. At the end of the season, the King and the Queen would host a final winter fete that all the Grisha would attend. Genya claimed it would be the most lavish party of all. Every noble family and high court officer would be there, along with military heroes, foreign dignitaries, and the tsarevitch, the King’s eldest son and heir to the throne. I’d once seen the Crown Prince riding around the palace grounds on a white gelding that was roughly the size of a house. He was almost handsome, but he had the King’s weak chin and eyes so heavy-lidded that it was hard to tell if he was tired or just supremely bored.“Probably drunk,” said Genya, stirring her tea. “He devotes all his time to hunting, horses, and imbibing. Drives the Queen mad.”

 

    “Well, Ravka is at war. He should probably be more concerned with matters of state.”“Oh she doesn’t care about that. She just wants him to find a bride instead of gallivanting around the world spending mounds of gold buying up ponies.” “What about the other one?” I asked. I knew the King and Queen had a younger son, but I’d never actually seen him. “Sobachka?” “You can’t call a royal prince ‘puppy,’” I laughed. “That’s what everyone calls him.” She lowered her voice. “And there are rumors that he isn’t strictly royal.” I nearly choked on my tea. “No!” “Only the Queen knows for sure. He’s a bit of a black sheep anyway. He insisted on doing his military service in the infantry, then he apprenticed to a gunsmith.” "And he’s never at court?” “Not in years. I think he’s off studying shipbuilding or something equally dull. He’d probably get along well with David,” she added sourly. “What do you two talk about, anyway?” I asked curiously. I still didn’t quite understand Genya’s fascination with the Fabrikator. She sighed. “The usual. Life. Love. The melting point of iron ore.” She wound a curl of bright red hair around her finger, and her cheeks flushed a pretty pink. “He’s actually quite funny when he lets himself be.”

     “Really?” Genya shrugged. “I think so.” I patted her hand reassuringly. “He’ll come around. He’s just shy.” “Maybe I should lie down on a table in the workroom and wait to see if he welds something to me.” “I think that’s the way most great love stories begin.” She laughed, and I felt a sudden niggle of guilt. Genya talked so easily about David, but I’d never confided in her at all. Especially about the Darkling. That’s because there’s nothing to confide, I reminded myself harshly and added more sugar to my tea.One quiet afternoon when the other Grisha had ventured out of Os Alta, Genya convinced me to sneak into the Grand Palace, and we spent hours looking through the clothes and shoes in the Queen’s dressing room. Genya insisted that I try on a pale pink silk gown studded with riverpearls, and when she laced me up in it and stuck me in front of one of the giant golden mirrors, I had to look twice.

 

    I’d learned to avoid mirrors. They never seemed to show me what I wanted to see. But the girl standing next to Genya in the glass was a stranger. She had rosy cheeks and shiny hair and … a shape. I could have stared at her for hours. I suddenly wished good old Mikhael could see me. “Sticks” indeed, I thought smugly. Genya caught my eye in the mirror and grinned. “Is this why you dragged me in here?” I asked suspiciously. “Whatever do you mean?” “You know what I mean.” “I just thought you might want to get a good look at yourself, that’s all.” I swallowed the embarrassing lump in my throat and gave her an impulsive hug. “Thanks,” I whispered. Then I gave her a little shove. “Now get out of the way. It’s impossible to feel pretty with you standing next to me.” We spent the rest of the afternoon trying on dresses and goggling at ourselves in the mirror—two activities I never would have expected to enjoy. We lost track of time, and Genya had to help me scramble out of an aquamarine ball gown and back into my kefta so that I could hurry down to the lake for my evening lesson with Baghra. I ran all the way but I was still late, and she was furious.

 

     The evening sessions with Baghra were always the hardest, but she was particularly tough on me that night. “Control!” she snapped as the weak wave of sunlight that I’d summoned flickered on the lakeshore. “Where is your focus?” At dinner, I thought but didn’t say. Genya and I had gotten so caught up in the distractions of the Queen’s wardrobe that we’d forgotten to eat, and my stomach was growling. I centered myself and the light bloomed brighter, reaching out over the frozen lake. “Better,” she said. “Let the light do the work for you. Like calls to like.” I tried to relax and let the light call to itself. To my surprise, it surged across the ice, illuminating the little island in the middle of the lake. “More!” Baghra demanded. “What’s stopping you?” I dug deeper and the circle of light swelled past the island, bathing the whole lake and the school on the opposite shore in gleaming sunlight. Though there was snow on the  on the ground, the air around us shone bright and heavy with summer heat. My body thrummed with power. It was exhilarating, but I could feel myself tiring, bumping up against the limits of my abilities. “More!” Baghra shouted. “I can’t!” I protested.

 

“More!” she said again, and there was an urgency in her voice that sounded an alarm inside of me and caused my focus to falter. The light wavered and slipped from my grasp. I scrambled for it but it rushed away from me, plunging the school, then the island, and then the lakeshore back into darkness. “It’s not enough.” His voice made me jump. The Darkling emerged from the shadows onto the lamplit path. “It might be,” said Baghra. “You see how strong she is. I wasn’t even helping her. Give her an amplifier and see what she can do.” The Darkling shook his head. “She’ll have the stag.”

 

Baghra scowled. “You’re a fool.” “I’ve been called worse. Often by you.” “This is folly. You must reconsider.” The Darkling’s face went cold. “I must? You don’t give me orders anymore, old woman. I know what has to be done.” “I might surprise you,” I piped up. The Darkling and Baghra turned to stare at me. It was almost like they’d forgotten I was there. “Baghra’s right. I know I can do better. I can work harder.” “You’ve been on the Shadow Fold, Alina. You know what we’re up against.” I felt suddenly stubborn. “I know that I’m getting stronger every day. If you give me a chance—” Again, the Darkling shook his head. “I can’t take that kind of a chance. Not with Ravka’s future at stake.”

 

“I understand,” I said numbly. “Do you?” “Yes,” I said. “Without Morozova’s stag, I’m pretty much useless.” “Ah, so she’s not as stupid as she looks,” cackled Baghra. “Leave us,” said the Darkling with surprising ferocity.“We’ll all suffer for your pride, boy.” “I won’t ask you again.” Baghra gave him a disgusted glower, then turned on her heel and marched back up the path to her cottage. When her door slammed shut, the Darkling regarded me in the lamplight. “You look well,” he said. “Thanks,” I mumbled, my eyes sliding away. Maybe Genya could teach me to take a compliment.

 

“If you’re returning to the Little Palace, I’ll walk with you,” he said. For a while, we strolled in silence along the lakeshore, past the deserted stone pavilions. Across the ice, I could see the lights of the school. Finally, I had to ask. “Has there been any word? Of the stag?” He pressed his lips together. “No,” he said. “My men think that the herd may have crossed into Fjerda.” “Oh,” I said, trying to hide my disappointment. He stopped abruptly. “I don’t think you’re useless, Alina.” “I know,” I said to the tops of my somehow water resistant and warm silk flats. (Truly the Grisha could do anything. And I guess draping me in silks that were warm was one of those things.) “Not useless. Just not exactly useful.”

 

“No Grisha is powerful enough to face the Fold. Not even me.” “I get it.” “But you don’t like it.” “Should I? If I can’t help you destroy the Fold, then what exactly am I good for? Midnight picnics? Keeping your feet warm in the winter?”

His mouth quirked up in a half smile. “Midnight picnics?” I couldn’t smile back. “Botkin told me that Grisha steel is earned. It’s not that I’m not grateful for all of this. I am, truly. But I don’t feel like I’ve earned any of it.”

 

He sighed. “I’m sorry, Allessa. I asked you to trust me and I haven’t delivered.” He looked so weary that I felt instantly contrite. “It’s not that—” “It’s true.” He took another deep breath and ran a hand over his neck. “Maybe Baghra’s right, as much as I hate to admit it.” I cocked my head to one side. “You never seem fazed by anything. Why do you let her bother you so much?” “I don’t know.” “Well, I think she’s good for you.” He started in surprise. “Why?” “Because she’s the only one around here who isn’t scared of you or constantly trying to impress you.” “Are you trying to impress me?” “Of course,” I laughed. “Do you always say exactly what you’re thinking?” “Not even half the time.” ~~If only you knew~~

 

Then he laughed too, and I remembered how much I liked the sound. ~~How much it made my stomach tingle and raise blood in my cheek **s**~~ “Then I guess I should count myself lucky,” he said. “What’s Baghra’s power, anyway?” I asked, the thought occurring to me for the first time. She was an amplifier like the Darkling, but he had his own power, too. “I’m not sure,” he said. “I think she was a Tidemaker. No one around here is old enough to remember.” He looked down at me. The cold air had put a flush in his cheeks, and the lamplight shone in his gray eyes. “Alina, if I tell you that I still believe we can find the stag, would you think I’m mad?” “Why would you care what I think?” ~~You are extremely cute!~~ He looked genuinely baffled. “I don’t know,” he said. “But I do.” And then he kissed me. ~~Oh my~~

`

It happened so suddenly that I barely had time to react. One moment, I was staring into his slate-colored eyes, and the next, his lips were pressed to mine. I felt that familiar sense of surety melt through me as my body sang with sudden heat and my heart jumped into a skittery dance. Then, just as suddenly, he stepped back. He looked as surprised as I felt. “I didn’t mean … ,” he said.

At that moment, we heard footsteps and Ivan rounded the corner. He bowed to the Darkling and then to me, but I caught a little smirk playing on his lips.

 

“The Apparat is getting impatient,” he said. “One of his less appealing traits,” replied the Darkling smoothly. The look of surprise had vanished from his face. He bowed to me, completely composed, and without another glance, he and Ivan left me standing in the snow. I stood there for a long moment and then made my way back to the Little Palace in a daze. What just happened? I touched my fingers to my lips. Did the Darkling really just kiss me? ~~Oh saints that man~~ I avoided the domed hall and went straight to my room, but once I was there, I didn’t know what to do with myself. I rang for a dinner tray and then sat picking at my food. I was desperate to talk to Genya, but she slept at the Grand Palace every night, and I didn’t have the courage to go try to find her. Finally, I gave up and decided to go down to the domed hall after all.Marie and Nadia had returned from their sleighing excursion and were sitting by the fire, drinking tea. I was shocked to see Sergei sitting next to Marie, his arm looped through hers. Maybe there’s something in the air, I thought in amazement.

 

I sat sipping tea with them, asking about their day and their trip to the countryside, but I had trouble keeping my mind on the conversation. My thoughts kept wandering back to the feel of the Darkling’s lips on mine and the way he’d looked standing in the lamplight, his breath a white cloud in the cold night air, that stunned expression on his face. I knew I wouldn’t be able to sleep, so when Marie suggested going to the banya, I decided to join them. Ana Kuya had always told us that the banya was barbaric, an excuse for peasants to drink kvas and engage in wanton behavior. But I was beginning to realize that old Ana had been a bit of a snob ~~. Really though, there were times she needed to lighten up.~~

I sat in the steam for as long as I could bear the heat and then plunged, squealing, into the snow with the others, before running back inside to do it all over again. I stayed until long past midnight, laughing and gasping, trying to clear my head. When I stumbled back to my room, I fell into bed, my skin damp and pink, my hair in wet tangles. I felt flushed and boneless, but my mind was still whirring. I focused and summoned a warm wash of sunlight, making it dance in slivers across the painted ceiling, letting the sure rush of power soothe my nerves. Then the memory of the Darkling’s kiss blew through me and rattled my concentration, scattering my thoughts and making my heart swoop and dive like a bird borne aloft by uncertain currents.

  
The light shattered, leaving me in darkness.

_________________________________________________________________________

So soon this will be like I would have written it after reading Shadow and Bone. Credit still to author of course, yet my own sort of plot stuff added. Hope you’re enjoying!!


	15. Update

So I have come to realize a few mistakes so far in how I say Alina's name instead of Allessa. I'll fix................At some point........... just ignore it yeah? Good. Great. Okay. Yeah. This is getting weird. I'll stop now. Bye. :/


	16. Fourteen

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Hot. Damn.

As winter drew to a close, talk turned to the King and Queen’s fete at the Grand Palace. The Grisha Summoners were expected to put on a demonstration of their powers to entertain the nobles, and much time was spent discussing who would perform and what would make the most impressive showing. “Just don’t call it ‘performing,’” Genya warned. “The Darkling can’t stand it. He thinks the winter fete is a giant waste of Grisha time.” I thought he might have a point. The Materialki workshops buzzed morning and night with orders from the palace for cloth and gems and fireworks. The Summoners spent hours at the stone pavilions honing their “demonstrations.” Given that Ravka was at war and had been for over a hundred years, it all seemed a little frivolous. Still, I hadn’t been to many parties, and it was hard not to get caught up in the talk of silks and dances and flowers. Baghra had no patience with me. If I lost focus for even a moment, she’d smack me with her stick and say, “Dreaming of dancing with your dark prince?”  ~~Yes Actually~~

 

I ignored her but, too often, she was right. Despite my best efforts, I was thinking of the Darkling. He’d disappeared once again, and Genya told me that he’d left for the north. The other Grisha speculated that he would have to put in an appearance at the winter fete, but no one could be sure. Again and again, I found myself on the verge of telling Genya about the kiss, but I always stopped just as the words were on my lips.  _ You’re being ridiculous _ , I told myself sternly. It didn’t mean anything. He probably kisses a lot of Grisha girls. And why would the Darkling have any interest in you when there are people like Genya and Zoya around? Though anyone who found Zoya attractive was obviously blind in more than one way. But if all those things were true, I didn’t want to know. As long as I kept my mouth shut, the kiss was a secret that the Darkling and I shared, and I wanted it to stay that way. All the same, some days it took everything in me not to stand up in the middle of breakfast and shout, “The Darkling kissed me!”

 

If Baghra was disappointed in me, it was nothing compared to my disappointment in myself. As hard as I pushed, my limitations were becoming obvious. At the end of every lesson, I kept hearing the Darkling say, “It’s not enough,” and I knew he was right. He wanted to destroy the very fabric of the Fold, to turn back the black tide of the Unsea, and I simply wasn’t strong enough to manage that. I’d read enough to understand that this was the way of things. All Grisha had limits to their power, even the Darkling. But he’d said I was going to change the world, and it was hard to accept that I might not be up to the task.

 

The Darkling had vanished, but the Apparat seemed to be everywhere. He lurked in hallways and by the path to the lake. I thought he might be trying to trap me alone again, but I didn’t want to listen to him rant about faith and suffering. I was careful never to let him catch me by myself. On the day of the winter fete, I was excused from my classes, but I went to see Botkin anyway. I was too anxious about my part in the demonstration, and the prospect of seeing the Darkling again, to just sit in my room. Being around the other Grisha didn’t help. Marie and Nadia talked constantly about their new silk keftas and what jewels they intended to wear, and David and the other Fabrikators kept accosting me to talk over the details of the demonstration. So I avoided the domed hall and went out to the training rooms by the stables.

 

Botkin put me through my paces and made me drill using my mirrors. Without them, I was still pretty helpless against him. But with my gloves on, I could almost hold my own. Or so I thought. When the lesson was over, Botkin admitted that he’d been pulling his punches. “Should not hit girl in face when she is going to party,” he said with a shrug. “Botkin will be fairer tomorrow.” I groaned at the prospect. I had a quick dinner in the domed hall and then, before anyone could corner me, I hurried up to my room, already thinking of my beautiful sunken tub. The banya was fun, but I’d had my share of communal bathing in the army, and privacy was still a novelty to me. When I’d had a long, luxurious soak, I sat down by the windows to dry my hair and watch night fall over the lake. Soon, the lamps lining the long drive to the palace would be lit as nobles arrived in their lavish coaches, each more ornate than the last. I felt a little prickle of excitement. A few months ago, I would have dreaded a night like this: a performance, playing dress-up with hundreds of beautiful people in their beautiful clothes. I was still nervous, but I thought it all might actually be … fun.

 

I looked at the little clock on the mantel and frowned. A servant was supposed to be delivering my new silk kefta (remember the link to her outfits), but if she didn’t arrive soon, I was going to have to wear my old one or borrow something from Marie. Almost as soon as I’d had the thought, a knock sounded at the door. But it was Genya, her tall frame swathed in cream silk heavily embroidered in gold, her red hair piled high on her head to better display the massive diamonds dangling from her ears and the graceful turn of her neck.

 

“Well?” she said, turning this way and that. “I loathe you,” I said with a smile. “I do look remarkable,” she said, admiring herself in the mirror over the basin. “You’d look even better with a little humility.” “I doubt that. Why aren’t you dressed?” she asked, taking a break from marveling at her own reflection to notice I was still in my robe. “My kefta hasn’t arrived.” “Oh, well, the Fabrikators have been a bit overwhelmed with the Queen’s requests. I’m sure it will get here. Now, sit down in front of the mirror so I can do your hair.” I practically squealed with excitement, but I managed to restrain myself. I’d been hoping Genya would offer to do my hair, but I hadn’t wanted to ask. “I thought you would be helping the Queen,” I said as Genya set her clever hands to work.

 

She rolled her amber eyes. “I can only do so much. Her highness has decided she doesn’t feel up to attending the ball tonight. She has a headache. Ha! I’m the one who spent an hour removing her crow’s feet.” “So she’s not going?” “Of course she’s going! She just wants her ladies to fuss over her so she can feel even more important. This is the biggest event of the season. She wouldn’t miss it for the world.” The biggest event of the season. I let out a shaky breath. “Nervous?” asked Genya. “A little. I don’t know why.” “Maybe because a few hundred nobles are waiting to get their first look at you.” “Thanks. That really helps.” “You’re very welcome,” she said, giving my hair a hard tug. “You should be used to being gawked at by now.” “And yet I’m not.” “Well, if it gets too bad, give me a signal, and I’ll get up on the banquet table, toss my skirt over my head, and do a little dance. That way no one will be looking at you.”

 

I laughed and felt myself relax a bit. After a moment, trying to keep my voice casual, I asked, “Has the Darkling arrived?” “Oh yes. He arrived yesterday. I saw his coach.” My heart sank a little. He had been in the palace for an entire day and he hadn’t come to see me or called for me. “I imagine he’s very busy,” said Genya. “Of course.” After a moment, she said softly, “We all feel it, you know.” “Feel what?” “The pull. Toward the Darkling. But he’s not like us, Allessa.”

I tensed. Genya kept her gaze studiously focused on the coils of my hair.

“What do you mean?” I asked. Even to my own ears, my voice sounded unnaturally high.

 

“His kind of power, the way he looks. You’d have to be mad or blind not to notice it.” I didn’t want to ask, but I couldn’t help myself. “Has he ever … ? I mean, have you and he ever … ?” “No! Never!” A mischievous smile twitched on her lips. “But I would.” “Really?” “Who wouldn’t?” Her eyes met mine in the mirror. “But I’d never let my heart get involved.” I gave what I hoped was an indifferent shrug. “Of course not.” Genya raised her flawless brows and tugged hard on my hair. “Ouch!” I yelped. “Will David be there tonight?” Genya sighed. “No, he doesn’t like parties. But I did just happen to drop by the workrooms so he could get a peek at what he was missing. He barely looked at me.” “I doubt that,” I said comfortingly. Genya twisted a final piece of my hair into place and secured it with a diamond hairpin.

 

“There!” she said triumphantly. She handed me my little mirror and turned me around so that I could see her handiwork. I beamed and gave her a quick hug. “Thank you!” I said. “You’re spectacular.” “A lot of good it does me,” she grumbled. How was it that Genya had fallen so hard for someone so serious and so quiet and so seemingly oblivious to her gorgeousness? Or was that exactly why she had fallen for David? A knock at the door pulled me from my thoughts. I practically ran to open it. I felt a rush of relief when I saw two servants standing in the doorway, each carrying several boxes. Until that moment, I hadn’t realized how worried I was about my kefta arriving. I laid the largest box on the bed and pulled off the lid.Genya squeaked, and I just stood there gaping at the contents. When I didn’t move, she reached into the box and pulled out yards of rippling black silk. The sleeves and neckline were delicately embroidered in gold and glittered with tiny jet beads. “Beautiful,” Genya whispered. “Look!” she gasped. From the neckline hung a small golden charm: the sun in eclipse, the Darkling’s symbol. I bit my lip.  I couldn’t think about how I still did not deserve this new life or his colors now. Unless I wanted to go to the ball naked, I didn’t have a lot of options. I stepped behind the screen and slipped into the new kefta. The silk felt cool on my skin as I fumbled with the tiny buttons. When I emerged, Genya broke into a huge grin.

 

“Ooh, you look marvelous.” She grabbed my arm. “Come on!” “I don’t even have my shoes on!” “Just come on!” She pulled me down the hall, then threw open a door without knocking. Zoya shrieked. She was standing in the middle of her room in a kefta of midnight blue silk, a brush in her hand. “Excuse us!” announced Genya. “But we have need of this chamber. Darkling’s orders!”

Zoya’s beautiful blue eyes slitted dangerously. “If you think—” she began and then she caught sight of me. Her jaw dropped, and the blood drained from her face. “Out!” commanded Genya. Zoya snapped her mouth shut, but to my amazement, she left the room without another word. Genya slammed the door behind her. “What are you doing?” I asked dubiously. “I thought it was important that you see yourself in a proper mirror, not that useless sliver of glass on your dressing table,” she said. “But mostly I wanted to see the look on that bitch’s face when she saw you in this.” I couldn’t restrain my grin. “That was pretty wonderful.” “Wasn’t it?” Genya said dreamily. I turned to the mirror, but Genya grabbed me and sat me down at Zoya’s dressing table. She started rooting around in the drawers.

 

“Genya!” “Just wait … aha! I knew she was darkening her lashes!” Genya pulled a little pot of black antimony from Zoya’s drawer. “Can you summon a little light for me to work with?” I called a nice warm glow to help Genya see better and tried to be patient as she made me look up, down, left, right. “Perfect!” she said when she was done. “Oh, Allessa, you look like quite the temptress.” “Right,” I said, and snatched the mirror from her. But then I had to smile. The sad, sickly girl with hollowed-out cheeks and bony shoulders was gone. In her place was a Grisha with sparkling eyes and shimmering waves of chocolate brown and golden hair. The black silk clung to my new form, shifting and sliding like sewn-together shadows. And Genya had done something marvelous to my eyes so that they looked dark and almost catlike. “Jewelry!” shouted Genya, and we ran back to my room, passing Zoya seething in the hallway.

 

“Are you done?” she snapped. “For the moment,” I said airily, and Genya gave a very unladylike snort. In the other boxes on my bed, we found golden silk slippers, glittering jet and gold earrings, and a thick fur muff. When I was ready, I examined myself in the little mirror above the basin. I felt exotic and mysterious, like I was wearing some other, far more glamorous girl’s clothes. I looked up to see Genya watching me with a troubled expression. “What’s wrong?” I said, suddenly self-conscious again. “Nothing,” she said with a smile. “You look beautiful. Truly. But …” Her smile faltered. She reached out and lifted the little golden charm at my neckline. “Allessa, the Darkling doesn’t notice most of us. We’re moments he’ll forget in his long life. And I’m not sure that’s such a bad thing. Just … be careful.” I stared at her, baffled. “Of what?” “Of powerful men.”

“Genya,” I asked before I could lose my nerve, “what happened between you and the King?” She examined the toes of her satin slippers. “The King has his way with lots of servants,” she said. Then she shrugged. “At least I got a few jewels out if it.” “You don’t mean that.” “No. I don’t.” She fiddled with one of her earrings. “The worst part is that everyone knows.” I put my arm around her. “They don’t matter. You’re worth all of them put together.” She gave a weak imitation of her confident smile. “Oh, I know that.” “The Darkling should have done something,” I said. “He should have protected you.” “He has, Allessa. More than you know. Besides, he’s as much a slave to the whims of the King as the rest of us. At least for now.”

 

“For now?” She gave me a quick squeeze. “Let’s not dwell on depressing things tonight. Come on,” she said, her gorgeous face breaking into a dazzling grin. “I’m in desperate need of champagne!” And with that, she glided serenely from the room. I wanted to say more to her. I wanted to ask her what she meant about the Darkling. I wanted to take a hammer to the King’s head. But she was right. There would be plenty of time for trouble tomorrow. I took a last peek in the little mirror and hurried out into the hall, leaving my worries and Genya’s warnings behind me. My kefta caused quite a stir in the domed hall as Marie and Nadia and a group of other Etherealki dressed in blue velvets and silks swarmed around me and Genya. Genya made to slip away as she usually did, but I held fast to her arm. If I was wearing the Darkling’s color, then I intended to take full advantage of it and have my friend by my side. “You know I can’t go into the ballroom with you. The Queen would have a fit,” she whispered in my ear.

 

“Okay, but you can still walk over with me.” Genya beamed. As we walked down the gravel path and into the wooded tunnel, I noticed that Sergei and several other Heartrenders were keeping pace with us, and I realized with a start that they were guarding us—or probably me. I supposed it made sense with all of the strangers on the palace grounds for the fete, but it was still disconcerting, a reminder that there were a lot of people in the world who wanted me dead. The grounds surrounding the Grand Palace had been lit up to showcase tableaus of actors and little troupes of acrobats performing for wandering guests. Masked musicians strolled the paths. A man with a monkey on his shoulder ambled past, and two men covered from head to toe in gold leaf rode by on zebras, throwing jeweled flowers to everyone they passed. Costumed choirs sang in the trees. A trio of redheaded dancers splashed around in the double-eagle fountain, wearing little more than seashells and coral and holding up platters full of oysters to guests.

 

We had just started to climb the marble steps when a servant appeared with a message for Genya. She read the note and sighed. “The Queen’s headache has miraculously disappeared, and she has decided to attend the ball after all.” She gave me a hug, promised to find me before the demonstration, and then slipped away. Spring had barely begun to show itself, but it was impossible to tell that in the Grand Palace. Music floated down the marble hallways. The air felt curiously warm and was perfumed with the scent of thousands of white flowers, grown in Grisha hothouses. They covered tables and trailed down balustrades in thick clusters. Marie, Nadia, and I drifted through groups of nobles, who pretended to ignore us but whispered as we passed by with our Corporalki guard. I held my head high and even smiled at one of the young noblemen standing by the entrance to the ballroom. I was surpised to see him blush and look down at his shoes. I glanced at Marie and Nadia to see if they had noticed, but they were gabbling about some of the dishes served to the nobles at dinner—roasted lynx, salted peaches, burnt swan with saffron. I was glad that we’d eaten earlier. The ballroom was larger and grander than even the throne room had been, lit by row after row of sparkling chandeliers, and full of masses of people drinking and dancing to the sounds of a masked orchestra seated along the far wall. The gowns, the jewels, the crystals dripping from the chandeliers, even the floor beneath our feet seemed to sparkle, and I wondered how much of it was Fabrikator craft.

The Grisha themselves mingled and danced, but they were easy to pick out in their bold colors: purple, red, and midnight blue, glowing beneath the chandeliers like exotic flowers that had sprung up in some pale garden.cThe next hour passed in a blur. I was introduced to countless noblemen and their wives, high-ranking military officers, courtiers, and even some Grisha from noble households who had come as guests to the ball. I quickly gave up trying to remember names and simply smiled and nodded and bowed. And tried to keep myself from scanning the crowd for the Darkling’s black-clad form. I also had my first taste of champagne, which I found I liked much better than kvas. At one point, I discovered myself face-to-face with a tired-looking nobleman leaning on a cane. “Duke Keramsov!” I exclaimed. He was wearing his old officer’s uniform, his many medals pinned to his broad chest. The old man looked at me with a flicker of interest, clearly startled that I knew his name. “It’s me,” I said. “Allessa Staleen? I came with Alina Starkov?” “Yes … yes. Of course!” he said with a faint smile. I looked into his eyes. He didn’t remember me at all. And why should he? I was just another orphan, and a very forgettable one at that. Still, I was surprised at how much it hurt.

 

I made polite conversation for as long as I had to and then took the first opportunity to escape. I leaned against a pillar and grabbed another glass of champagne from a passing servant. The room felt uncomfortably warm. As I looked around, I suddenly felt very alone. I thought of Mal and Alina, and for the first time in weeks, my heart gave that old familiar twist. I wished they could be here to see this place. I wished they could see me in my silk kefta with gold in my hair. Mostly I just wished that they were standing beside me. I pushed the thought away and took a big gulp of champagne. What difference did it make if some drunk old man didn’t know me? I was glad he didn’t recognize the scrawny, miserable little girl I’d been. I saw Genya gliding through the crowd toward me. Counts and dukes and wealthy merchants turned to stare at her as she passed, but she ignored them all. Don’t waste your time, I wanted to tell them. Her heart belongs to a gangly Fabrikator who doesn’t like parties. “Time for the show—I mean, the demonstration,” she said when she reached me. “Why are you all by yourself?”

 

“I just needed to take a little break.” “Too much champagne?” “Maybe.”

“Silly girl,” she said, looping her arm through mine. “There’s no such thing as too much champagne. Though your head will try to tell you otherwise tomorrow.” She steered me through the crowd, gracefully dodging people who wanted to meet me or leer at her, until we’d made our way behind the stage that had been set up along the far wall of the ballroom. We stood by the orchestra and watched as a man dressed in an elaborate silver ensemble took to the stage to introduce the Grisha. The orchestra struck a dramatic chord, and the guests were soon gasping and applauding as Inferni sent arcs of flame shooting over the crowd and Squallers sent spires of glitter whirling about the room. They were joined by a large group of Tidemakers who, with the Squallers’ help, brought a massive wave crashing over the balcony to hover inches above the audience’s heads. I saw hands reach up to touch the shining sheet of water. Then the Inferni raised their arms and, with a hiss, the wave exploded into a swirling mass of mist. Hidden by the side of the stage, I had a sudden inspiration and sent light cascading through the mist, creating a rainbow that shimmered briefly in the air.

 

“Allessa.” I jumped. The light faltered and the rainbow disappeared. The Darkling was standing beside me. As usual, he wore a black kefta, though this one was made of raw silk and velvet. The candlelight gleamed off his dark hair. I swallowed and glanced around, but Genya had disappeared. “Hello,” I managed. “Are you ready?” ~~What his VOICE did to me. YES TAKE ME AWAY!~~ I nodded, and he led me to the base of the steps leading to the platform. As the crowd applauded and the Grisha left the stage, Ivo punched my arm. “Nice touch, Allessa! That rainbow was perfect.” I thanked him and then turned my attention to the crowd, feeling suddenly nervous. I saw eager faces, the Queen surrounded by her ladies, looking bored. Beside her, the King swayed on his throne, clearly well in his cups, the Apparat at his side. If the royal princes had bothered to show up, they were nowhere to be seen. With a start, I realized the Apparat was staring directly at me, and I looked quickly away.

 

We waited as the orchestra began to play an ominous, escalating thrum and the man in silver bounded onto the stage once again to introduce us. Suddenly, Ivan was beside us saying something in the Darkling’s ear. I heard the Darkling reply, “Take them to the war room. I’ll be there shortly.” Ivan darted away, ignoring me completely. When the Darkling turned to me, he was smiling, his eyes alive with excitement. Whatever news he’d gotten had been good. A burst of applause signaled that it was time for us to take the stage. He took my arm and said, “Let’s give the people what they want.”  ~~Anything~~ I nodded, my throat dry as he led me up the steps and to the center of the stage. I heard eager buzzing from the crowd, looked out at their expectant faces. The Darkling gave me a short nod. With little preamble, he slammed his hands together and thunder boomed through the room as a wave of darkness fell over the party. He waited, letting the crowd’s anticipation grow. The Darkling might not have liked the Grisha performing, but he certainly knew how to put on a show. Only when the room was practically vibrating with tension did he lean into me and whisper, so softly that only I could hear, “Now.” Heart clattering, I extended my arm, palm up. I took a deep breath and called up that feeling of surety, the feeling of light rushing toward me and through me, and focused it in my hand. A bright column of light shot upward from my palm, gleaming in the darkness of the ballroom. The crowd gasped, and I heard someone shout, “It’s true!” I turned my hand slightly, angling toward what I hoped was the right spot on the balcony that David had described to me earlier. “Just make sure you aim high enough, and we’ll find you,” he’d said. I knew I’d gotten it right when the beam from my palm shot out from the balcony, zigging and zagging across the room as the light bounced from one large Fabrikator-made mirror to the next until the dark ballroom was a pattern of crisscrossing streams of gleaming sunlight.

 

The crowd murmured in excitement. I closed my palm, and the beam disappeared, then in a flash I let the light bloom around me and the Darkling, wrapping us in a glowing sphere that surrounded us like a flowing, golden halo.

He looked at me and held out his hand, sending black ribbons of darkness climbing through the sphere, twisting and turning. I grew the light wider and brighter, feeling the pleasure of the power move through me, letting it play through my fingertips as he sent inky tendrils of darkness shooting through the light, making them dance. The crowd applauded and the Darkling murmured softly, “Now, show them.” I grinned and did as I had been taught, throwing my arms wide and feeling my whole self open, then I slammed my hands together and a loud rumble shook the ballroom. Brilliant white light exploded through the crowd with a whoosh as the guests released a collective “Ahhhh!” and closed their eyes, flinging up their hands against the brightness. I held it for a few long seconds and then unclasped my hands, letting the light fade. The crowd burst into wild applause, clapping furiously and stomping their feet.

 

We took our bows as the orchestra began to play and the applause gave way to excited chatter. The Darkling pulled me to the side of the stage and whispered, “Do you hear them? See them dancing and embracing? They know now that the rumors are true, that everything is about to change.” My elation ebbed slightly as I felt uncertainty creep in. “But aren’t we giving these people false hope?” I asked. “No, Allessa. I told you that you were my answer. And you are.” “But after what happened by the lake …” I blushed furiously and hurried to clarify. “I mean, you said I wasn’t strong enough.” The Darkling’s mouth quirked in the suggestion of a grin but his eyes were serious. “Did you really think I was done with you?”  ~~Oh lord!~~ A little tremor quaked through me. He watched me, his half smile fading. Then, abruptly, he took me by the arm and pulled me from the stage into the crowd. People offered their congratulations, reached their hands out to touch us, but he cast a rippling pool of darkness that snaked through the crowd and vanished as soon as we had passed. It was almost like being invisible. I could hear snatches of conversation as we slipped between groups of people. “I didn’t believe it …”

 

“ … a miracle!”

 

“ … never trusted him but …”

 

“It’s over! It’s over!”

 

I heard people laughing and crying. That feeling of disquiet twisted through me again. These people believed that I could save them. What would they think when they learned I was good for nothing but parlor tricks? But these thoughts were only dim flickers. It was hard to think of anything but the fact that, after weeks of ignoring me, the Darkling had hold of my hand and was pulling me through a narrow door and down an empty corridor. A giddy laugh escaped me as we slipped inside an empty room lit only by the moonlight pouring in through the windows. I barely had time to register that it was the sitting room where I had once been brought to meet the Queen, because as soon as the door closed, he was kissing me and I could think of nothing else.

 

I’d been kissed before, drunken mistakes, awkward fumblings. This was nothing like that. It was sure and powerful and like my whole body had just come awake. I could feel my pounding heart, the press of silk against my skin, the strength of his arms around me, one hand buried deep in my hair, the other at my back, pulling me closer. The moment his lips met mine, the connection between us opened and I felt his power flood through me. I could feel how much he wanted me—but behind that desire, I could feel something else, something that felt like anger. I drew back, startled. “You don’t want to be doing this.” “This is the only thing I want to be doing,” he growled, and I could hear the bitterness and desire all tangled up in his voice. “And you hate that,” I said with a sudden flash of comprehension.

 

He sighed and leaned against me, brushing my hair back from my neck. “Maybe I do,” he murmured, his lips grazing my ear, my throat, my collarbone.

I shivered, letting my head fall back, but I had to ask. “Why?” “Why?” he repeated, his lips still brushing over my skin, his fingers sliding over the ribbons at my neckline. “Allessa, do you know what Ivan told me before we took the stage? Tonight, we received word that my men have spotted Morozova’s herd. The key to the Shadow Fold is finally within our grasp, and right now, I should be in the war room, hearing their report. I should be planning our trip north. But I’m not, am I?” My mind had shut down, given itself over to the pleasure coursing through me and the anticipation of where his next kiss would land.

 

“Am I?” he repeated and he nipped at my neck. I gasped and shook my head, unable to think. He had me pushed up against the door now, his hips hard against mine. “The problem with wanting,” he whispered, his mouth trailing along my jaw until it hovered over my lips, “is that it makes us weak.” And then, at last, when I thought I couldn’t bear it any longer, he brought his mouth down on mine. His kiss was harder this time, laced with the anger I could feel lingering inside him. I didn’t care. I didn’t care that he’d ignored me or that he confused me or about any of Genya’s vague warnings. He’d found the stag. He’d been right about me. He’d been right about everything. His hand slid down to my hip. I felt a little trill of panic as my skirt slid higher and his fingers closed on my bare thigh, but instead of pulling away, I pushed closer to him.

 

I don’t know what might have happened next—at that moment we heard a loud clamor of voices from the hallway. A group of very noisy, very drunk people were careening down the corridor, and someone bumped heavily into the door, rattling the handle. We froze. The Darkling shoved his shoulder against the door so that it wouldn’t open, and the group moved on, shouting and laughing. In the silence that followed, we stared at each other. Then he sighed and dropped his hand, letting the silk of my skirts fall back into place.

 

“I should go,” he murmured. “Ivan and the others are waiting for me.” I nodded, not trusting myself to speak.

 

He stepped away from me. I moved aside, and he opened the door a crack, glancing down the hallway to make sure it was empty. “I won’t return to the party,” he said. “But you should, at least for a while.” I nodded again. I was suddenly acutely aware of the fact that I was standing in a dark room with a near stranger and that only a few moments before I’d nearly had my skirts around my waist. Ana Kuya’s stern face appeared in my mind, lecturing me about the foolish mistakes of peasant girls, and I flushed with embarrassment. The Darkling slipped through the doorway, but then he turned back to me. “Allessa,” he said, and I could see that he was fighting with himself, “can I come to you tonight?”

  
I smile sweetly. “Yes.” His returning smile is full of darkness and the promise of something I could not quite place. As the door closed behind him it hit me. _Power._ His smile had promised _power_.

 

__________________________________

 

Alright, if you've read the book you know where this goes next. Well I ain't going there. After all the dark side has cookies. I like cookies. If you like cookies continue to read. If you do not like cookies I have no words to say because I would be speechless. Who doesn't like cookies. Unless you're allergic to the ingredients. Then I understand completely. You are allowed to not like them if that is the case. So yeah, about only the first half, if that, of the next chapter will be from the book. After that it is all me, which means writing quality will go slightly down and things will become much more fanfic teenage girl lovey dovey crap. Because come on. Or they'll go dark. Hmmm I may find some things out about myself while doing this..................................oh well I'mma do it anyways! See ya in the next installment of my one way ticket to downstairs.......because that is where my bedroom is and I am going to said bedroom to write th enext chapter. :D 


	17. Fifteen

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> And so the original plot begins...........halfway through.............more like the end......you'll see

The voices passed and I let out a long, shuddering breath. I hadn’t had a chance to say yes or no to the Darkling. Would he come anyway? Did I want him to? My mind was whirring. I had to set myself to rights and get back to the party. The Darkling could just disappear, but I didn’t have that luxury. I peeked out into the corridor and then hurried back to the ballroom, stopping to check my appearance in one of the gilt mirrors. It wasn’t as bad as I’d feared. My cheeks were flushed, my lips a bit bruised looking, but there was nothing I could do about that. I smoothed my hair and straightened my kefta. As I was about to enter the ballroom, I heard a door open at the other end of the hallway. The Apparat was hurrying toward me, his brown robes flapping behind him. Oh please not now.

 

“Allessa!” he called. “I have to get back to the ball,” I said cheerily and turned away from him. “I must speak with you! Things are moving far more quickly than—” I slipped back into the party with what I hoped was a serene expression. Almost instantly, I was surrounded by nobles hoping to meet me and congratulate me on the demonstration. Sergei hurried over to me with my other Heartrender guards, murmuring apologies for losing me in the crowd. Glancing over my shoulder, I was relieved to see the Apparat’s ragged form swallowed by a tide of partygoers. I did my best to make polite conversation and to answer the questions that the guests asked. One woman had tears in her eyes and asked me to bless her. I had no idea what to do, so I patted her hand in what I hoped was a reassuring manner. All I wanted was to be alone to think, to sort through the confused mess of emotions in my head. The champagne wasn’t helping.

 

As one group of guests moved off to be replaced by another, I recognized the long, melancholy face of the Corporalnik who had ridden with me and Ivan in the Darkling’s coach and helped to fight off the Fjerdan assassins. I scrambled to remember his name. He came to my rescue, bowing deeply and saying, “Fedyor Kaminsky.” “Forgive me,” I said. “It’s been a long night.” “I can only imagine.”

I hope not, I thought with a twinge of embarrassment. “It seems the Darkling was right after all,” he said with a smile. “Pardon?” I squeaked. “You were so certain that you couldn’t possibly be Grisha.” I returned his grin. “I try to make a habit of getting things hopelessly wrong.” Fedyor barely had time to tell me of his new assignment near the southern border before he was swept away by another wave of impatient guests waiting to get their moment with the Sun Summoner. I hadn’t even thanked him for protecting my life that day in the glen.

 

I managed to keep talking and smiling for about an hour, but as soon as I had a free moment, I told my guards that I wanted to leave and made a beeline for the doors. The instant I was outside, I felt better. The night air was blessedly cold, the stars bright in the sky. I took a deep breath. I felt giddy and exhausted, and my thoughts seemed to keep bouncing from excitement to anxiety and back again. If the Darkling came to my room tonight, what would it mean? The idea of being his sent a little jolt through me. I didn’t think he was in love with me and I had no idea what I felt for him, but he wanted me, and maybe that was enough.

I shook my head, trying to make sense of everything. The Darkling’s men had found the stag. I should be thinking about that, about my destiny, about the fact that I would have to kill an ancient creature, about the power it would give me and the responsibility of that, but all I could think about was his hands on my hips, his lips on my neck, the lean, hard feel of him in the dark. I took another deep breath of night air. The sensible thing would be to lock my door and go to sleep. But I wasn’t sure I wanted to be sensible.

 

When we arrived at the Little Palace, Sergei and the others left me to return to the ball. The domed hall was silent, the fires in its tile ovens banked, its lamps glowing low and golden. Just as I was about to pass through the doorway to the main staircase, the carved doors behind the Darkling’s table opened. Hurriedly, I stepped into the shadows. I didn’t want the Darkling to know I’d left the party early, and I wasn’t ready to see him yet anyway. But it was just a group of soldiers crossing through the entry hall on their way out of the Little Palace. I wondered if they were the men who had come to report on the location of the stag. As the light from one of the lamps fell on the last soldier of the group, my heart nearly stopped. “Mal!” When he turned around, I thought I might dissolve from happiness at the sight of his familiar face. Somewhere in the back of my mind, I registered his grim expression, but it was lost in the sheer joy I felt. I sprinted across the hall and threw my arms around him, nearly knocking him off his feet. He steadied himself and then pulled my arms from around his neck as he glanced at the other soldiers who had stopped to watch us. I knew I’d probably embarrassed him, but I just didn’t care. I was bouncing on the balls of my feet, practically dancing with happiness.

 

“Go on,” he said to them. “I’ll catch up to you.” A few eyebrows were raised, but the soldiers disappeared through the main entrance, leaving us alone.

I opened my mouth to speak, but I wasn’t sure where to begin, so I settled for the first thing that came to mind. “What are you doing here?” “Hell if I know,” Mal said with a weariness that surprised me. “I had a report to make to your master.” “My … what?” Then it hit me, and I broke into a huge grin. “You’re the one who found Morozova’s herd! I should have known.” He didn’t return my smile. He didn’t even meet my eyes. He just looked away and said, “I should go.” I stared at him in disbelief, my elation withering. So I’d been right. Mal was done with me. All the anger and embarrassment I’d felt over the last few months crashed in on me. “Sorry,” I said coldly. “I didn’t realize I was wasting your time. If only Alina was here. Would you talk to her?” “I didn’t say that. And do not bring her into this. You know I miss her just as much as you do” “No, no. I understand. You can’t be bothered to answer my letters. Why would you want to stand here talking to me while your real friends are waiting? And please, you never saw how she looked at you! She loved you Mal.” He frowned. “I didn’t get any letters.” I simmered at him ignoring the rest of what I’d said.

 

“Right,” I said angrily. He sighed and rubbed a hand over his face. “We have to move constantly to track the herd. My unit is barely in contact with the regiment anymore.” There was such weariness in his voice. For the first time, I looked at him, really looked at him, and I saw how much he had changed. There were shadows beneath his blue eyes. A jagged scar ran along the line of his unshaven jaw. He was still Mal, but there was something harder about him, something cold and unfamiliar. “You didn’t get any of my letters?” He shook his head, still wearing that same distant expression. I didn’t know what to think. Mal had never lied to me before, and for all my anger, I didn’t think he was lying to me now. I hesitated. “Mal, I … Can’t you stay a little while longer?” I heard the pleading in my voice. I hated it, but I hated the thought of him leaving even more. “You can’t imagine what it’s been like here.” He gave a rough bark of laughter. “I don’t need to imagine. I saw your little demonstration in the ballroom. Very impressive.” “You saw me?”

 

“That’s right,” he said harshly. “Do you know how worried I’ve been about you? No one knew what had happened to you, what they’d done to you. There was no way to reach you. There were even rumors you were being tortured. When the captain needed men to report back to the Darkling, like an idiot I made the trek down here just on the chance that I would find you.” “Really?” That was hard for me to believe. I’d gotten so used to the idea of Mal’s indifference. “Yes,” he hissed. “And here you are, safe and sound, dancing and flirting like some cosseted little princess. After Alina I- I did not know what to think.” “Don’t sound so disappointed,” I snapped. “I’m sure the Darkling can arrange for a rack or some hot coals if that would make you feel better.”  Mal scowled and stepped away from me. Tears of frustration pricked my eyes. Why were we fighting? Desperately, I reached out to lay a hand on his arm. His muscles tensed, but he didn’t pull away. “Mal, I can’t help the way things are here. I didn’t ask for any of this.”

 

He looked at me and then looked away. I felt some of the tension go out of him. Finally, he said, “I know you didn’t.” Again, I heard that terrible weariness in his voice. “What happened to you, Mal?” I whispered. He said nothing, just stared into the darkness of the hall. I raised my hand and rested it on his stubbly cheek, gently turning his face to mine. “Tell me.” He closed his eyes. “I can’t.” I let my fingertips trail over the raised skin of the scar on his jaw. “Genya could fix this. She can—” Instantly, I knew I’d said the wrong thing. His eyes flew open. “I don’t need fixing,” he snapped. “I didn’t mean—” He snatched my hand from his face, holding it tightly, his blue eyes searching mine. “Are you happy here, Allessa?”

The question took me by surprise. “I … I don’t know. Sometimes.” “Are you happy here with him?” I didn’t have to ask who Mal meant. I opened my mouth to answer, but I had no idea what to say. “You’re wearing his symbol,” he observed, his glance flicking to the little gold charm hanging at my neckline. “His symbol and his color.” “They’re just clothes.” Mal’s lips twisted in a cynical smile, a smile so different from the one I knew and loved that I almost flinched. “You don’t really believe that.” “What difference does it make what I wear?” “The clothes, the jewels, even the way you look. He’s all over you.”

 

The words hit me like a slap. In the dark of the hall, I felt an ugly flush creeping up my cheeks. I snatched my hand from his, crossing my arms over my chest. “It’s not like that,” I whispered, but I didn’t meet his gaze. It was as if Mal could see right through me, as if he could pluck every fevered thought I’d ever had of the Darkling right out of my head. But on the heels of that shame came anger. So what if he did know? What right did he have to judge me? How many girls had Mal held in the dark?“I saw how he looked at you,” he said. “I like how he looks at me!” I practically shouted. He shook his head, that bitter smile still playing on his lips. I wanted to smack it right off his face. “Just admit it,” he sneered. “He owns you.” “He owns you, too, Mal,” I lashed back. “He owns us all.” That wiped away his smile. “No he doesn’t,” Mal said fiercely. “Not me. Not ever.” “Oh really? Don’t you have someplace to be, Mal? Don’t you have orders to follow?” Mal stood up straight, his face cold. “Yes,” he said. “Yes, I do.”

He turned sharply and walked out the door.  For a moment, I stood there, quivering with anger, and then I ran to the doorway. I got all the way down the steps before I stopped myself. The tears that had been threatening to overflow finally did, coursing down my cheeks. I wanted to run after him, to take back what I’d said, to beg him to stay, but I’d spent my life running after Mal, calling him my hero. How many times had I looked at Alina with pity, and now I was turning out the same. And yet Mal was all I had left of that  life. The life before this. The life that brought me here. I wanted to chase after him, scream, cry, anything to bring him back. But, I knew I couldn’t have it all. So instead, I stood in silence and let him go.

 

Only when I was in my room, the door closed securely behind me, did I let my sobs overtake me. I slid to the floor, my back pressed against the bed, my arms around my knees, trying to hold myself together. By now, Mal would be leaving the palace, traveling back to Tsibeya to join the other trackers hunting Morozova’s herd. The distance widening between us felt like a palpable thing. I felt further from him than I had in all the lonely months that had gone before. I rubbed my thumb over the scar on my palm. “Come back,” I whispered, my body shaking with fresh sobs. “Come back.” But he wouldn’t. I’d as good as ordered him to leave. I knew I would probably never see him again, and I ached with it.

I don’t know how long I sat there in the dark. At some point I became aware of a soft knocking at my door. I sat up straight, trying to stifle my sniffling. What if it was the Darkling? I couldn’t bear to see him now, to explain my tears to him, but I had to do something. I dragged myself to my feet and opened the door.

 

A bony hand snaked around my wrist, seizing me in an iron grip. “Baghra?” I asked, peering at the woman standing at my door. “Come,” she said, pulling at my arm and glancing over her shoulder. “Leave me alone, Baghra.” I tried to pull away from her, but she was surprisingly strong. “You come with me now, girl,” she bit out. “Now!” Maybe it was the intensity of her gaze or the shock of seeing fear in her eyes, or maybe I was just used to doing what Baghra said, but I followed her out the door. She closed it behind us, keeping hold of my wrist.

“What is this? Where are we going?” “Quiet.” Instead of turning right and heading toward the main staircase, she dragged me in the opposite direction to the other end of the hall. She pressed a panel in the wall, and a hidden door swung open. She gave me a shove. I didn’t have the will to fight her, so I stumbled down the narrow spiral staircase. Every time I looked back at her, she gave me another little push. When we reached the bottom of the stairs, Baghra stepped in front of me and led me down a cramped hallway with bare stone floors and plain wooden walls. It looked almost naked compared to the rest of the Little Palace, and I thought we might be in the servants’ quarters.

 

Baghra grabbed hold of my wrist again and tugged me into a dark, empty chamber. She lit a single candle, locked and bolted the door, then crossed the room and reached up on her tiptoes to draw closed the curtain on the tiny basement window. The room was sparsely furnished with a narrow bed, a simple chair, and a washbasin. “Here,” she said, shoving a pile of clothes at me. “Put these on.” “I’m too tired for lessons, Baghra.” “No more lessons. You must leave this place. Tonight.” I blinked. “What are you talking about?” “I’m trying to keep you from spending the rest of your life as a slave. Now get changed.” “Baghra, what’s going on? Why did you bring me down here?” “We don’t have much time. The Darkling is close to finding Morozova’s herd. Soon he will have the stag.”

 

“I know,” I said, thinking of Mal. My heart ached, but I also couldn’t resist feeling a little smug. “I thought you didn’t believe in Morozova’s stag.” She waved her arm as if brushing away my words. “That’s what I told him. I hoped that he might give up the stag’s pursuit if he thought it was nothing but a peasant tale. But once he has it, nothing will be able to stop him.” I threw up my hands in exasperation. “Stop him from doing what?” “Using the Fold as a weapon.”

“I see,” I said. “Does he also plan to build a summer home there?” Baghra seized hold of my arm, “This isn’t a joke!” There was a desperate, unfamiliar edge to her voice, and her grip on my arm was nearly painful. What was wrong with her?

“Baghra, maybe we should go to the infirmary—”

 

“I’m not sick and I’m not insane,” she spat. “You must listen to me.” “Then talk sense,” I said. “How could anyone use the Shadow Fold as a weapon?” She leaned into me, her fingers digging into my flesh. “By expanding it.”

“Right,” I said slowly, trying to extricate myself from her grasp. “The land that the Unsea covers was once green and good, fertile and rich. Now it is dead and barren, crawling with abominations. The Darkling will push its boundaries north into Fjerda, south to the Shu Han. Those who do not bow to him will see their kingdoms turned to desolate wasteland and their people devoured by ravening volcra.” I gaped at her in horror, shocked by the images she had conjured. The old woman had clearly lost her mind.

 

“Baghra,” I said gently, “I think you have some kind of fever.” Or you’ve gone completely senile. “Finding the stag is a good thing. It means I can help the Darkling destroy the Fold.” “No!” she cried, and it was almost a howl. “He never intended to destroy it. The Fold is his creation.” I sighed. Why had Baghra picked tonight to lose all touch with reality? “The Fold was created hundreds of years ago by the Black Heretic. The Darkling—” “He is the Black Heretic,” she said furiously, her face mere inches from mine. “Of course he is.” With some effort, I pried her fingers loose and stepped past her to the door. “I’m going to go find you a Healer and then I’m going to bed.”

 

“Look at me, girl.” I took a deep breath and turned around, my patience at an end. I felt sorry for her, but this was just too much. “Baghra—” The words died on my lips. Darkness was pooling in Baghra’s palms, the skeins of inky blackness floating into the air. “You do not know him, Alina.” It was the first time she had ever used my name. “But I do.” I stood there watching dark spirals unfurl around her, trying to comprehend what I was seeing. Searching Baghra’s strange features, I saw the explanation clearly written there. I saw the ghost of what must have once been a beautiful woman, a beautiful woman who gave birth to a beautiful son.

 

“You’re his mother,” I whispered numbly. She nodded. “I am not mad. I am the only person who knows what he truly is, what he truly intends. And I am telling you that you must run.” The Darkling had claimed he didn’t know what Baghra’s power was. Had he lied to me? I shook my head, trying to clear my thoughts, trying to make sense of what Baghra was telling me. “It’s not possible,” I said. “The Black Heretic lived hundreds of years ago.” “He has served countless kings, faked countless deaths, bided his time, waiting for you. Once he takes control of the Fold, no one will be able to stand against him.” A shiver went through me. “No,” I said. “He told me the Fold was a mistake. He called the Black Heretic evil.” “The Fold was no mistake.” Baghra dropped her hands and the swirling darkness around her melted away. “The only mistake was the volcra. He did not anticipate them, did not think to wonder what power of that magnitude might do to mere men.” My stomach turned. “The volcra were men?” “Oh yes. Generations ago. Farmers and their wives, their children. I warned him that there would be a price, but he didn’t listen. He was blinded by his hunger for power. Just as he is blinded now.” “You’re wrong,” I said, rubbing my arms, trying to shake the bone-deep cold stealing through me. “You’re lying.” “Only the volcra have kept the Darkling from using the Fold against his enemies. They are his punishment, a living testimony to his arrogance. But you will change all that. The monsters cannot abide sunlight. Once the Darkling has used your power to subdue the volcra, he will be able to enter the Fold safely. He will finally have what he wants. There will be no limit to his power.”

 

I shook my head. “He wouldn’t do that. He would never do that.” I remembered the night he’d spoken to me by the fire in the broken-down barn, the shame and sorrow in his voice. I’ve spent my life searching for a way to make things right. You’re the first glimmer of hope I’ve had in a long time. “He said he wants to make Ravka whole again. He said that—” “Stop telling me what he said!” she snarled. “He is ancient. He’s had plenty of time to master lying to a lonely, naive girl.” She advanced on me, her black eyes burning. “Think, Allessa. If Ravka is made whole, the Second Army will no longer be vital to its survival. The Darkling will be nothing but another servant of the King. Is that his dream of the future?” I was starting to shake. “Please stop.” “But with the Fold in his power, he will spread destruction before him. He will lay waste to the world, and he will never have to kneel to another King again.”

 

“No.” “All because of you.” “No!” I shouted at her. “I wouldn’t do that! Even if what you’re saying is true, I would never help him do that.” “You won’t have a choice. The stag’s power belongs to whoever slays it.” “But he can’t use an amplifier,” I protested weakly. “He can use you,” Baghra said softly. “Morozova’s stag is no ordinary amplifier. He will hunt it. He will kill it. He will take its antlers, and once he places them around your neck, you will belong to him completely. You will be the most powerful Grisha who has ever lived, and all that newfound power will be his to command. You will be bound to him forever, and you will be powerless to resist.”vIt was the pity in her voice that undid me. Pity from the woman who’d never allowed me a moment’s weakness, a moment’s rest. My legs gave way, and I slid to the floor. I covered my head with my hands, trying to block out Baghra’s voice. But I couldn’t stop the Darkling’s words from echoing through my mind.

 

We all serve someone.

 

The King is a child.

 

You and I are going to change the world.

 

He had lied to me about Baghra. He had lied about the Black Heretic. Had he lied about the stag, too?

 

I’m asking you to trust me.

 

Baghra had begged him to give me another amplifier, but he’d insisted it had to be the stag’s antlers. A necklace—no, a collar—of bone. And when I’d pushed him, he’d kissed me and I’d forgotten all about the stag and amplifiers and everything else. I remembered his perfect face in the lamplight, his stunned expression, his rumpled hair. Had it all been deliberate? The kiss by the lakeshore, the flash of hurt that had played across his face that night in the barn, every human gesture, every whispered confidence, even what had happened between us tonight?  I cringed at the thought. I could still feel his warm breath on my neck, hear his whisper in my ear. 

 

The problem with wanting is that it makes us weak.

 

How right he was. And yet, in my mind I saw another way. A way that we could destroy the fold, or at least subdue his plans until I could make him think differently. I would have to at least try. “So he lied to me? All this time?” Baghra nodded eagerly. Could she not see the lies on my face. Or had being Grisha changed me that much. “Where must I go?” “Away. Far, far away” I nod and hurriedly scramble out of the beautiful kefta. When she is not looking, however, I rip off the ribbons with his symbol, to keep. “Go out this door, and do not stop running. Careful and quiet.” I nod frantically and take the lantern. “Um, he may  be coming by my room later.” She glares. “Foolish girl. I will take care of it. Go!” I nod and race out into the darkness. However when I reach her hut I loop back around. I would change his mind. At least for a little while. And then, then I would strike.

  
_ And bring down all who would dare strive against him. Because if anyone was to end him, it would be me. _


	18. Sixteen

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I'm terrible. Get over it.

 

I couldn’t breath, I was running so fast. It also did not help that my nerves were on a high. I’d lied to Baghra and gotten away with it. I still did not know if it was my new grisha-ness or simply a fluke, but whatever had made it believable was a trait that I wanted to keep. I slowed down when I reached the back entrance to the grand palace. And then a saviour appeared in the form of David. “David!” I hissed quietly through my teeth. The mad turned and jumped when he saw me. As he went to speak I cut him off. “No time. You must bring me to the Darkling. I’ve treason against him to report and I must not be seen by anyone. Please, if I do not, even genya will be hurt, and she has the queen’s protection.” His eyes grew wide at Genya’s name and he motioned me forward. “Follow me. And stay quiet.” I nod. “Thank you David.” He simply sent me a glance. I hardly paid any attention to where we were going, I was more focused on the increasing number of soldiers who seemed to be looking for me. And one of them was Mal. “Through here. Then sprint to the doors behind the table. He is in the war room.” I nod and he grabs my arm before I can go. “Genya will be safe?” I smile softly. “You have my word. She is quite fond of you you know. Practically in love.” His blush makes my heart swell. Maybe there was hope yet...at least for some. I, myself still had to find the Darkling, convince him of my  innocence, and then, well who knows. I nod one more time to David, and then sneak my way across the domed hall. It had felt bright once. Scary, large, intimidating. But now, now it seemed small. I felt as if every breath was a siren, giving away my location. Every random breeze, an icy dagger flying through the air with the intent to kill. 

When I reached the door I hesitated. I thought back to the last time I had stepped through these doors. Then, he had seemed innocent, docile, hopeful. Now, I knew who he was. Did it speak against me that I did not truly care what he had done, what he was  _ going _ to do? That he had planned on using me? That I was still going to  _ let him _ , though in a different way? Maybe it did, but for now I simply slipped through the doors. It was silent, and yet I felt him. He was not in the war room, as David had said, he was behind another door. A door that no one else, of my knowledge, had dared to go. He was in  _ his room _ . With  _ his bed. _ I shiver at the thought. Of the danger. He wouldn’t  _ truly _ kill me there, would he? I take another breath and slowly, step by aching step, walk until I am staring the door down. “Enter.” His voice is ice, not like I had ever heard before. Even when he had talked to the fjerdan, the first day I’d known him, had he sounded this  _ mad _ , no  _ betrayed. _ He sounded betrayed. My heart fluttered and I obeyed his order. I stepped quietly into the room, a sitting room. The walls a deep red, with black arm chairs, a fireplace, a bear skin rug. The usual, what you would expect a person of his standard-his  _ power- _ to have. 

 

“You came back.” “I never left.” At my statement he turned, swiftly. I noticed his clothing then. He had on silk pants and no shirt.  _ He was hooooooooootttttttttt _ \-  _ stop it Allessa! _ He had been retiring when they had learned of my ‘escape’.  _ Did that mean he wasn’t going to come see me? THAT ISN’T IMPORTANT RIGHT NOW!  _ “What do you mean?” He looked truly curious. “I was told to leave…..but then I didn’t.” He simply raised an eyebrow, as if telling me, commanding me, to continue. “It is a long story, or at least and exhausting one. And I am tired, I am still in shock actually. Can we sit?” I motion towards the two chairs. He seems to consider me for a moment. I know he is thinking whether or not he should humour me. After a tense moment he nods and gestures for me to sit. As I do there is a knock on the door. He answers and over his shoulder I catch Fedyor’s eyes. He looks relieved.  _ So they had been told I’d been taken. A smart move on  his part. _ “She is here. You may call off the search. Watch Baghra, as discreetly as possible. As well as the Apparat. Do not tell  _ anyone _ she has been found. Until further notice they are to believe she’s been taken. A...distraction of sorts.” “Yes, moi soverennyi.” comes Ivan’s voice. He sounds tired, relieved, stressed. With that, the door is shut and he is stalking back to me. He takes the seat opposite and waves his hand, telling me to continue. “It started after you left the Queen’s dressing room. After we...well anyways, I left back to the party. After I was tired of being there, I actually left early, um I was going back to my room. The tracker’s were leaving and I saw Mal, the one from the fold.” “Yes, he did a very good job of finding me what I wanted.” I shiver at the tone of voice. It is cold, I do not like it. 

“We had a fight. Over many things. Anyways, I was back in my room and Baghra grabbed me. She took me to this secret hallway. Told me things. How you were the Black Heretic, how she was your mother, how you were going to use me to expand the Fold. And I knew then, it was true. I had always known in the back of my  mind, ever since I first felt your call, your power. She told me to run. So I went along with it. I changed clothes followed her instructions, lied. But, I brought this” I pulled out the charm I had taken from the Kefta and something in his eyes glinted. “In case you wanted proof. I will not help you expand the fold. I want to help you destroy it.” he looks confused then. “Why?” “Do you not see? If we can destroy it, truly destroy it, you will be a saint. You could be king, have the power you want. You made one Fold, surely you can make another, if needed. An unspoken threat? You,  _ we _ , could rule. The Grisha would always be necessary. Always. If you expanded it, you would die. I do not want you to die. Against my better judgement I’ve fallen into some sort of love with you. Because only you can help me. It’s you. Only and ever you.” He is quiet, and I realize I have stood up and am now on my knees before him. “Please. Let me help you. As I was and am meant to do.”

It is when I see his cold smile, feel the shiver running down my spine, and feel him trace a finger over my collarbone that I know. I had just given myself, my power, and the fate of my country and others, to this dark and cold man before.

 

_ And I did not care. One. Single. Bit. _

  
  



	19. Seventeen

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> So.............almost done.

 My mind was whir of activity. I look down at the kefta I’d been given when I first arrived at the Little Palace in Os Alta almost a year ago, but seemed like a lifetime. Or rather a copy of that Kefta. This Kefta, _he_ had inform ed me, was the start of a new Ravka that would bow before his,  _ our _ I reminded him, feet. I gathered he had not told the bulk of the Grisha population of his plans, because when I had entered the war room, for the first time in what felt like years, only Ivan, Fedyor, and another unnamed guard waited.  _ He was going to surprise them all. _ I came back to reality at one sentence. And if my fate had not already been sealed, it was now. “Allessa will be my queen. What a surprise it shall be. I will hand them what they have wanted, and in turn make them bend to my will in another more subtle way.” His eyes met mine and I shivered. “We leave at nightfall. Allessa.” I nod and follow, standing tall and proud. Ivan and Fedyor sent me small smiles and I could see that they thought he was right.  _ Everyone serves someone _ flashed through my mind. It was true. I served the Darkling. And in turn, all of Ravka would bow at our feet. For a moment I think of Mal. I could have left, fled.  _ But you would have regretted it. You were meant for this Allessa, you know that _ . Then I think of Alina, my darling Alina. I still did not know if she was still alive. I would have to search for her, if I got the chance. I knew she was different. Whether that meant she was simply stronger than a normal otkazat’sya or a Grisha, I did not know. But I vowed then to find her.

 

_ I will come for you Alina. I owe you that much. _ I notice we are once more in his quarters as the door shuts behind me. “Do not be afraid, I feel it too.” He whispers into my neck as he places soft yet fervent kisses across where I can only guess the collar will be. “Soon, moy svet,  _ we _ will be King and Queen. And no one will take that away from me.” I simply nod as I know that I either cooperate and do this voluntarily (and right), or he makes me his slave, his pet, made to bend to his will like a circus trick. I smile and meet his eyes. “Do you have a name, my love?” he looks undecided and then seems to give in. “Aleksander. Aleksander Morozova.” We were hunting  _ his _ herd. I smile, a wicked nasty evil thing. “Well,  _ Aleksander _ , I will do everything I can to get you on that throne. After all, you have waited lifetimes for this moment. And it shall come, and I will be by your side through it all. The light and the dark, day and night, sun and moon. Tsar and Tsaritsa.” He shudders then and I sigh in relief mentally. I could do this.

 

_ For Ravka. For Alina. And even For Mal. I had too. It was my destiny. _

 

_____________________________________________________

 

The coach was how I remembered it, and yet the feeling was different. Now, I knew that there was no going back for me, ever. It was odd, to see the Darkling (or Aleksander as I now called him when we were alone), sitting in said carriage. It was odd because for once, he looked not only regal, but content. I suppose though if one’s lifetime ambition was about to become true one would be excited. I shiver slightly and his eyes catch my movement. “It is all coming together Allessa. All because of you. We will rule.” I simply smile and say quietly “I love you, Aleksander.” And he bristled with pride and power, smiling his cold evil smile. That to my heart, my treacherous horrible heart, seemed warm. 

________________________________________

 

I sigh and lay my head on his shoulder. It is odd that though his soul is cold, his body is warm. I snuggle as close as I can and he laughs. It is like a breath of fresh air after a winter spent inside, a sip of water after weeks going with out, the food given to a starving man as he finds his way back home. His laugh is life itself. “Affectionate, moy svet?” I look up and stick out my tongue. “Careful, pet. I might bite you.” I shiver and he smirks. Then he sweeps me towards him and steals my breath with kisses for the rest of the night.

__________________________________________

 

I see Mal on the fifth day. Our party has stopped three miles outside of a town, while two Grisha, Heartrenders no less, go to collect supplies. He is speaking with his fellow trackers, and the few members of the first army that have joined us by wish of the King. I faintly recognize two of them and gasp quietly. Mikhael and Dubrov. Mal looks up and the others follow his gaze. “Allessa?” Dubrov breathes as Mikhael smiles widely. Before I can respond Mal laughs. It is a cold and dark sound. They look at him, awed that he is not smiling like they are. “Haven’t you heard boys? Allessa is the Sun Summoner.” Then he walks away. “I’m glad you’re alright.” Whispers Dubrov, Mikhael nods and they follow their leader. I remind myself once again.  _ I am Grisha. _ “Is everything alright, moy svet?” The Darkling asks me later, as we sit in the carriage, me laying on his lap to sleep and him stroking my hair. “Yes. I am Grisha. I am here. I will have my amplifier. I love you Aleksander. Everything is as it should be.” His smile is like the sun. “Yes, my queen.”

____________________________________________

 

It is three days later that we come to a stop again. “They’ve found it.” Is all ivan says before the Darkling is getting ready to whisk me away. “Wait. Promise you will let me kill it with you? I Want to help you, but it  _ is _ my power.” He smiles. “You may kill it, my love. I know you will not disobey me. After All, you quite like Genya.” I freeze and then nod.  _ Of course he would find some other way to trap me. _ It is when I catch Mal’s eyes, his stony indifferent gaze, that my heart lurches.  _ How dare he, I was made for this! _ And so I stand on my toes and kiss the Darkling’s cheek. “I am ready,  _ moi soverennyi”  _ He simply smirks, a pleased expression on his face. “Then let us find your amplifier.” And when I catch sight of Mal’s face, he looks murderously jealous as the others from his unit ask him what is wrong. And I feel a wave of childish pride well up inside me at this small victory. 

 

_ At the same time a piece of me died. The last piece that had ever loved Malyen Oretsev. _

 

He was no longer my best friend. He hadn’t been for a long time. As this thought struck me a single tear fell down my face. “Soon, moy svet. Soon it will all be ours.” His whisper sent waves of reassurance through me. 

 

_ Oh Alina, why did you have to go. Why could we not have stayed forever young? Or died at the Fold, and met in the meadow. Please, please, please. _

 

I took my first step towards my future and my heart cracked. 

 

_ If only…..If only……. _

 

My head and heart swimming with despair.

 

_ Why? Why did it have to be like this? _

 

My feet heavy, and the new light of my world shrouded in darkness.

  
**_And I felt my soul become consumed by him_ ** _. _


	20. Eighteen

It had been an hour. A long, quiet hour. An hour of following Mal follow invisible trails only he could see. I’d worried he was leading us astray until I saw the gun Ivan kept discreetly pointed at his back. Finally though, I saw them. Large, white, majestic, and calm. My eyes immediately found a medium sized doe. Her antlers looked the perfect size, and she called to me. As I stepped forward the Darkling held the others back with a raised arm. This was my time. She stayed still, even after her herd had run off. As she looked at me, I knew. “I do not have to kill her.” It is an awed and quiet whisper. “No, you do not.” I let out a sigh of relief. “David.” Said man steps forward slowly, as if to not alarm the animal. Yet she simply bows her head. I stroke her neck as I cut the antlers from her head. She makes no sound until it is done. She nudges me, knickers, and runs off. Somehow I know she will be alright. David carefully takes the antlers and places them on my collar bones. “Watch, as Ravka’s salvation finally begins to take flight.” His voice is like steel piercing the stillness. There is no pain, only a rush of light that bursts from being and fades. When David removes his hands I notice not only his look of awe, but that my hair was now golden. I smile then, at Aleksander, and know that yes, I could do this. I could do anything. His answering smile is brighter, and yet dark enough that even the closest Grisha, Ivan, steps back. “Moy Svet.” “Luch ti’my” I respond. He nods in acceptance and walks me back to the carriage. An altogether uneventful, yet successful trip.

______________________________________________

 

The trip back was similar to the trip there, except it involved a lot more kissing. Deep, rich kisses that made my lower stomach burn. Light, feathery kisses that made my heart soar. And slow sensual kisses that stole my breath. If I wasn’t sleeping or eating, Aleksander was kissing me. My face, my neck, the antlers, and my wrists. Whispering promises and words that I could only guess at. He was a tidal wave crashing into me repeatedly, and I welcomed the water, drowning myself in his praise. A soft knock causes him to rip his mouth away from neck, where he had been placing soft kisses. He had not marked me yet, but I knew that by tomorrow, all would know who I belonged to. “We have arrived moi  soverennyi” comes Ivan’s voice. Aleksander responds by opening the door, hopping down, and helping me to the ground. We have covered the antlers with a scarf and coat, blaming it on the cold, until he can present me tomorrow to all of the Grisha and palace members. I hold his arm as he leads us inside. As we walk he leans to whisper in my ear.

 

“While we were away, Genya moved you into the spare rooms across from mine. They also added your symbol to mine on the doors. It is beginning.” I smile and nod. “Wonderful” He simply goes back to looking regal. I feel eyes on us the moment we enter the Great Domed Hall where I had once eaten comfortably with Marie and Nadia. As we enter I see them, and of course Zoya, staring in curiosity. I realize then that no one knows where we went. I stop when I see the doors. His symbol, the eclipse is right where I remember it always being. And yet, now, above and below it, integrated into the vine-like structure, were two suns. “Do you like it?” His question is heard. I smile. “Yes, Moi Soverennyi. I do.” “Good.” Then we continue walking. At some point Genya comes up beside me to finish leading me. The Darkling kisses my hand in farewell, before walking with Ivan, Fedyor, and the others to see the King. I watch him until he is out of my sight, I smile. “Wonderful Genya.” “Yes.” She changed me into a black simple gown. “For you to sleep in. There are shorter ones for the summer. Your hair looks lovely. And the antlers compliment your skin. They look marvelous, truly darling.” I smile and she leaves after a final brush of my hair and fix of my ‘’makeup’’. 

I smile at the girl in the mirror. I had come such a long way. A soft knock makes me smile. “Come in.” I say as I go to stand. Aleksander slips into the room like a shadow, quiet and stealthy. “It took me forever to get away. You look lovely, moy svet.” I smile and blush slightly. “Kiss me. I crave it. I feel starved if you don’t.” His answering smile is dangerous, and his eyes glint before he pulls me too him. “My love, you will always depend on me. And I will always answer your call.” With that his lips are pressed to mine as he pulls me as close as he can. I shiver. “I need you.” I whisper. “I know.” He slowly leads us back, as if we are waltzing at a ball. We land on the bed with a soft thump. He is quick to remove all clothing. “I cannot hold you close enough.” I whisper into the stillness of the room. “I know. Are you ready for me?” I bite my lip but nod. It hurts, a burn I have never felt before. He kisses away my tears and stills himself. I can feel him shake with the effort of staying as still as possible. “Please” Then I am lost in him. He is my world. I am surrounded by his scent, touch, taste. He is everything. He is mine. “I love you.” I whisper through the ecstasy. “I will cherish you my love.” I smile as he lulls me to sleep with his hands rubbing my back. And the world goes dark as I am swept into dreams of light, dark, and the word  _ Aleksander _ being whispered in my ear.

 


	21. Nineteen

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Almost there. I can see the light at the end of this tunnel of shame, cockiness, and altogether "judge me-ness".......is that a thing? Let us pretend yeah?

I wake to the sun warming my face, and an arm clutching me close to a body. As my eyes flutter open, the person next to me (who really  _ must _ have been Aleksander) shuffles and turns over before falling back into a deep sleep. I sit up, careful not to disturb him and take a moment to study his face. He looked peaceful in his sleep, and his face held a sort of youthfulness and innocence to it, while in the hours he was awake he showed only the most regal emotions. I sigh quietly and inspect myself in the mirror. A silk kefta had been laid out by Genya, I assumed, for me to change into. As I dressed I thought over random things. From Alina and Mal, to the stag, to what would happen today. I also thought of Baghra, and how he would punish her by showing her that he had won, yet again. I almost felt bad. Afterall, she had been trying to save me and her son from eternal damnation. And yet, she did not know that we were going to destroy it. If we even could. I stopped curling my hair and blinked. What would happen if it didn’t work?  _ It has to work. It  _ **_will_ ** _ work. It will.  _ I shake my head and finish the soft loopy curls. Then I take two pins studded with diamonds (after thinking about how I never thought I would own something this nice) and pin back a section of my hair on both sides. I place diamond waterfall earrings in both ears and make sure the make up glamour Genya had applied was still completely in tact. It was imperative that I looked like a grisha from today forward, inside and out. 

I look behind me when I hear rustling. Aleksander blinks his eyes blearily before smiling. “Goodmorning.” I smile back at him and stand. “Yes, it is. Today is the beginning of a new Ravka.” His smile is glorious, it outshines the bright sun behind him. “Now come, darling Aleksander. It is time.” He simply rolls his eyes before complying. Once I am satisfied he is getting ready I trace the antlers,  _ my _ antlers, with my fingertips. They were beautiful, and powerful.  _ No wonder Baghra was so frightened. I would be too, if he was my son. _ I startle at the thought. “Children.” “What?” I turn and see Aleksander ready to go, handsome as ever. “Nothing. Just a thought from the past.” I am lying through my teeth, and we both know it. However he says nothing, sensing and respecting my reluctance to broach whatever topic I may have been hinting at. Instead he holds out his arm and bows. “Moy Svet.” I smile and take his arm. “I am ready. Let us show them.” He nods and we make our way to the grand entry way to our rooms and the war room. As we exit I frown. “And everyone is where?” “Waiting in the throne room with the king. They are all quite confused and upset as they are being forced to be near that child.” Someone snorts and I whirl around. “Genya! What are you doing here? I would have thought you’d be attending to the queen.” 

Again she snorts. I notice her kefta, red with purple sleeves and smile. “Oh Genya!” “Yes, now I am  _ your _ servant and have been upgraded. It is a secret, until of course we walk through those doors.” “One, you will never be my servant, but my friend who helps me because I simply have no idea what I’m doing.” She laughs lightly. “And two, are you trying to dare her to object? Because that is just mean. And I like it.” “Yes, and it is a statement to the King that we are done, of course. Not that there ever  _ was _ a we. Simply a him.” She trails off awkwardly and I nod. “Of course. Now come friend.” She nods and walks a step behind me to my right. I want to pull her up but I know she must stay there. “Sorry” I mouth over my shoulder. “Don’t worry. This should be fun!” She whispers back. Aleksander just shakes in silent laughter for a moment. He composes himself though when we reach the doors to the throne room. They are shut, and a guard knocks loudly three times. Instantly any bickering or talking stops and a voice, a man, begins to speak. 

“Those who have attended today, Grisha, your majesties, court members, and selected first army members, are about to witness a turning point in history. The Darkling himself has written here that you are to listen well, not interrupt, and pay attention. Or he will personally oversee your demise.” Here the man awkwardly clears his throat. “And Um,” “yes?” The King’s annoyed voice asks. “It states ‘no matter who you are or what your rank is’ sire.” The message must be clear because no one responds. I slap his shoulder lightly as Genya giggles once quietly. “ _ Really? _ ” “Had to start somewhere.” “And so, I now announce to you, Genya Corporalki and Materialki as well as advisor to the Darkling.” I can just imagine the Queen and everyone else's face. Genya’s is smug. “Allessa Staleen, Sun Summoner and..” He trails off. Someone grunts impatiently and I realize it is the king. “Allessa Staleen, Sun Sumommer, Salvation of Ravka and the Grisha, and Fiance to the Darkling.” There are actual gasps before people shut up. I turn to Aleksander and smile. “Yes, I will marry you.” “Good.” Genya can barely contain her squeal. “Finally The Darkling himself, shadow bender, shadow summoner, and head of the Second army of Ravka. Leader of all Grisha, and now the second half of Ravka's salvation, completion, and ultimate success.” I slap his shoulder again and roll my eyes. “Dramatic much?” He shrugs again and the three of us stand tall with straight faces and I take his arm-after making sure my antlers were proudly on display- and walk (myself and Aleksander and then Genya two steps behind me on my right) slowly into the hall. 

Eyes widen on the right where Grisha stand at attention, I do not know if it is my antlers or Genya’s new getup. Most likely both. The first army and court simply stare in wonder as always as well as fear. Even the King and Queen sit up straighter, though the queen just looks pissed and glares at Genya. I can  _ feel _ her smugness as Genya smirks back. It is oozing off of her in waves. I shoot her a look over my shoulder and she just smirks and shrugs. We come to a stop and Genya and I curtsy, almost mockingly as Aleksander bows. “Your highness, I told you exactly one year ago, that I had found Ravka’s saviour. The one person who could destroy the Fold and unite the people. The one who could be made a Saint in their eyes, who could aid in defeating our enemies. I present her now to you, Allessa Staleen Sun Summoner.” I nod and the king returns the gesture, looking slightly stunned. “And why, if I may ask, are their deer antlers attached to her collar?” “Ah yes, have you heard of Grisha Amplifiers?” The king nods. “A bit. I know that they enhance your...abilities.” I commend him silently on not saying powers. “These are no regular deer antlers. These are from a doe’s head, a doe.” he pauses and his gaze sweeps over the Grisha. “From Morozova’s herd.” Despite his warning they gasp, and then as one, they drop into bows and curtsies and stare at the ground. “It is real then? The legends are true?” He nods. “Yes, the tracker, Malyen Oretsev from the first army and his crew found them. And so, I believe a reward of sorts is in order.” I look to him then, confused and somewhat concerned. “They will accompany the party that will be traveling to the Fold, to see the fruits of their labour come to life. A treasure not many will witness. So send out messengers! Send out the word that this is ravka’s final stand! That we  _ will _ be united! That we  _ will not  _ fall! THAT NO ONE CAN MATCH THE POWER OF THE SUN SUMMONER!” And then as one, the other side of the room, the side of the First army and nobles, fall to their knees, tears of relief and happiness in their eyes. And they say four words. Four words that cause my eyes to open wide and Genya to gasp. 

  


_ Long Live Sankta Allessa _ .

  


They had actually done it.  _ I was a saint. _

  


Yeah. No pressure my ass.

_________________________________________________

  


So…….. yeah I made myself a Saint. Deal with it! Lol! But really, I’m already writing this, might as well have fun right? So yeah. A reminder. The sequel-if I get around to writing one-  **_WILL NOT FOLLOW_ ** the rest of the original series. Some events will be the same but from here it is basically gonna be me taking her characters (and they ARE HERS ALL RIGHTS GO TO THE AUTHOR!) and giving them a new story line all my own and yet keeping the key elements (such as people, places, and some events) in the story. Examples are: Nikolai, amplifiers, etc. And so I leave you for now, with these words.

  


Keep Calm.

  


Don’t Panic.

  


Judge Me.

  
I’ll see you soon.


	22. The Fold: Part One

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which the final plot events are twisted and the story becomes my own....with borrowed characters......yeah. Enjoy!  
> -Allessa

The fold part one

 

Dawn was creeping over Kribirsk as sunlight poured into my tent. I sat up on my cot and stared unseeingly at the room. My limbs felt strangely heavy, my mind a blank. I was still sitting there when Genya arrived. She helped me wash my face and change into the black kefta I’d worn to the winter fete. I looked down at the silk and thought of all that had happened to me over this past year. My heart was racing as doubt finally hit me. Yes, we were destroying the Fold, but at what cost. If we couldn’t, how many would die. And the biggest question, would this powerful and centuries old man keep his promise? After all, he had lied to me and used me. I shake my head.  _ Snap out of it. You are doing this for Alina, and even if he does not want it, for Mal. _ My hands stayed limp at my sides as I fought to breathe evenly. Genya steered me into the painted chair. I sat still as she arranged my hair, piling it onto my head in loops and coils that she secured with golden pins, the better to show off Morozova’s collar. When she had finished, she pressed her cheek against mine and led me to Ivan, placing my hand on his arm like a bride. Not a word had passed between us. We were both anxious for what was about to come.

 

Ivan led me to the Grisha tent, where I took my place by the Darkling’s side. I knew that my friends were watching me, whispering, wondering what was wrong. They probably thought I was nervous about entering the Fold. They were wrong. I wasn’t nervous or frightened. I was elated and terrified. A horrible mix of emotions. The Grisha followed us in an ordered processional all the way to the drydocks. There, only a select few were permitted to board the sand skiff. It was larger than any I’d seen and equipped with three enormous sails emblazoned with the Darkling’s symbol. I scanned the crowd of soldiers and Grisha on the skiff. I knew Mal must be on board somewhere, but I couldn’t see him.

 

The Darkling and I were escorted to the front of the skiff, where I was introduced to a group of elaborately dressed men with blond beards and piercing blue eyes. With a start, I realized they were Fjerdan ambassadors. Beside them, in crimson silks, stood a delegation from the Shu Han, and next to them, a group of Kerch tradesmen in short coats with curiously belled sleeves. An envoy of the King stood with them in full military dress, his pale blue sash bearing a golden double eagle, a stern expression on his weathered countenance.

 

I studied them curiously. This must be why the Darkling had delayed our trip into the Fold. He’d needed time to assemble the proper audience, witnesses who would attest to his newfound power. But just how far did he intend to go? A feeling of foreboding stirred inside me, disturbing the lovely numbness that had held me in its grip all morning. And again, I began to doubt his promise. As if he felt my doubt, he stepped closer. I shook my head again. I would be by his side, his queen, a saint. For these people, I would try my best to destroy this Fold of ethereal darkness that lay before us. The skiff shuddered and began to slide over the grass and into the eerie black mist of the Fold. Three Summoners raised their arms and the great sails snapped forward, swelling with the wind.

 

The first time I’d entered the Fold, I’d feared the darkness and my own death. Now, darkness was nothing to me, and I knew that soon death would be out of reach, as I climbed the ladder of power and took my place by his side. I’d always known I would have to return to the Unsea, but as I looked back, I realized that some part of me had anticipated it. I had welcomed the chance to prove myself and to please the Darkling. I had dreamed of this moment, standing by his side. I had wanted to believe in the destiny he’d laid out for me, that the orphan no one wanted would change the world and be adored for it. And now, I knew that it was my destiny. He would not fail me. At this thought, I discreetly brush his fingers with mine. I was ready.

 

The Darkling stared ahead, radiating confidence and ease. The sun flickered and began to disappear from view. A moment later, we were in darkness. For a long while, we drifted in the black, the Grisha Squallers driving the skiffs forward over the sand. Then, the Darkling’s voice rang out. “Burn.” Huge clouds of flame burst from the Inferni on either side of the skiff, briefly illuminating the night sky. The ambassadors and even the guards around me stirred nervously. The Darkling was announcing our location, calling the volcra directly to us.

 

It didn’t take long for them to answer, and a tremor ran up my spine as I heard the distant beat of leathery wings. I felt fear spread through the passengers on the skiff and heard the Fjerdans begin to pray in their lilting tongue. In the flare of Grisha fire, I saw the dim shapes of dark bodies flying toward us. The volcras’ shrieks split the air. The guards reached for their rifles. Someone began to weep. But still, the Darkling waited as the volcra drew closer. Baghra had claimed that the volcra had once been men and women, victims of the unnatural power unleashed by the Darkling’s greed. It might have been my mind playing tricks, but I thought I heard something not just horrible, but human in their cries.When they were almost upon us, the Darkling gripped my arm and simply said, “Now.”

 

I nod and pull at my inner light. Within seconds it flows out of me in waves and beats of light. Extending farther and farther out. The Fold was alight, as bright as noon, as if it's impenetrable darkness had never been. I saw a long reach of blanched sand, hulks of what looked like shipwrecks dotting the dead landscape, and above it all, a teeming flock of volcra. They screamed in terror, their writhing gray bodies gruesome in the bright sunlight. This was the truth of us. Like calls to like. This was our destiny made flesh, the truth of our future laid bare in the blazing sun, shorn of mystery and shadow. This was the truth behind the handsome face and the miraculous powers, the truth that was the dead and empty space between the stars, a wasteland peopled by frightened monsters. The truth of what we had to overcome, the past we had to bury, and the strength we would need to further this act of innocence we held. I knew then that my soul, once pure and slightly tainted, was as black as the night sky. Yes, I would save millions, but at the same time, I subjected them to another fate. A fate worse than ethereal darkness. Slavery to one as powerful and strong as he was. My darling Aleksander.

 

_ Make a path. _ I wasn’t sure if he spoke or simply thought the command that reverberated through me. Gladly, I let the Fold close in around us as I focused the light, making a channel through which the skiff could pass, bordered on both sides by walls of rippling darkness. The volcra fled into the dark, and I could hear them crying in rage and confusion as if from behind an impenetrable curtain. We sped over the colorless sands, the sunlight spreading in glimmering waves before us. Far ahead, I saw a flash of green, and I realized I was seeing the other side of the Shadow Fold. We were looking into West Ravka, and as we drew closer, I saw their meadow, their drydocks, the village of Novokribirsk nestled behind it. The towers of Os Kervo gleamed in the distance. Was it my imagination, or could I smell the salt tang of the True Sea on the air?

 

People were streaming from the village and crowding onto the drydocks, pointing at the light that had split the Fold open before them. I saw children playing in the grass. I could hear the dockworkers calling to each other.

 

At a signal from the Darkling, the skiff slowed, and he lifted his arms. A flash of fear went through me but dissipated at his words. “Citizens of my beloved Ravka! Witness today as I destroy the very creation of my grandfather! The darkness that has separated us, weakened us, destroyed us. Watch as your saint, the Sun Summoner destroys all you have ever known to exist here! The coming years will show bounty, prosperity, and new life to replace what was lost.”

The Darkling turned to look at the ambassadors and the King’s envoy. Their faces were identical masks of awe and acceptance. Whatever he saw there must have satisfied him, because he separated his hands and spoke once, to them only. “Behold, the merging of our power.” And then as one, my light and his darkness burst forth around us. They intertwined and broke off. And like arrows they pierced the darkness, destroying the fold. Every Volcra exposed was shot down. When the last speck of dark was gone, and all that remained of the nightmare that had been the Fold was the bodies left to rot, the barren land, and the Volcra, cheers erupted. They started out as amazed whispers and turned into yells of freedom. The skiffs were flooded, people fell before us crying, and Aleksander simply turned to me. 

 

_ Allessa moi Tsaritsa.  _

_ Aleksander moi Tzar. _

  
And we smiled together, ignoring the shouts of joy. We had done it. Aleksander raises a hand and it goes quiet. “Let this be known. As a Darkling, this power is mine to do with what I will. Let the enemies of Ravka beware. That those who dare to oppose us will not have to wait long before they will experience the dangers of a Fold.” At his words, the envoys from the other Kingdoms bristle. “Make peace with us, except the Grisha for what we are, and you have nothing to fear.” “So, peace on your terms?!” a Fjerdan asks angrily. Aleksander smirks dangerously. “Peace on the King's terms.” It hits them then. What he wants. And the people rise with power. “ALL HAIL THE TSAR AND TSARITSA!” The King's men slip away, unknowingly being watched. We would deal with them later, for now, we would watch as the people celebrated their new found freedom.


End file.
